Koans

toastie wrote:

Akkarin wrote:

toastie wrote: Not sure if there's anything more romantic than your boyfriend writing you a koan

Yes... wrote... not copied-pasted and edited... :silly:

Honesty rises above romance right?

You ruined everything!

Making the rest of us guys look bad, master akkarin. I'm glad my gf doesn't read the forums at this point.

Two for everyone to ponder:

Elephant and Flea

Roshi Kapleau agreed to educate a group of psychoanalysts about Zen. After being introduced to the group by the director of the analytic institute, the Roshi quietly sat down upon a cushion placed on the floor. A student entered, prostrated before the master, and then seated himself on another cushion a few feet away, facing his teacher. "What is Zen?" the student asked. The Roshi produced a banana, peeled it, and started eating. "Is that all? Can't you show me anything else?" the student said. "Come closer, please," the master replied. The student moved in and the Roshi waved the remaining portion of the banana before the student's face. The student prostrated, and left.

A second student rose to address the audience. "Do you all understand?" When there was no response, the student added, "You have just witnessed a first-rate demonstration of Zen. Are there any questions?"

After a long silence, someone spoke up. "Roshi, I am not satisfied with your demonstration. You have shown us something that I am not sure I understand. It must be possible to TELL us what Zen is."

"If you must insist on words," the Roshi replied, "then Zen is an elephant copulating with a flea."



Most Important Teaching

A renowned Zen master said that his greatest teaching was this: Buddha is your own mind. So impressed by how profound this idea was, one monk decided to leave the monastery and retreat to the wilderness to meditate on this insight. There he spent 20 years as a hermit probing the great teaching.

One day he met another monk who was traveling through the forest. Quickly the hermit monk learned that the traveler also had studied under the same Zen master. "Please, tell me what you know of the master's greatest teaching." The traveler's eyes lit up, "Ah, the master has been very clear about this. He says that his greatest teaching is this: Buddha is NOT your own mind."

Midnight Excursion

Many Jedi pupils were studying meditation under the Jedi Knight Wescli. One of them used to arise at night, climb over the temple wall, and go to town on a pleasure jaunt.

Wescli, inspecting the dormitory quarters, found this pupil missing one night and also discovered the high stool he had used to scale the well. Wescli removed the stool and stood there in its place.

When the wanderer returned, not knowing that Wescli was the stool, he put his feet on the master's head and jumped down into the grounds. Discovering what he had done, he was aghast.

Wescli said: "It is very chilly in the early morning. Do be careful not to catch cold yourself."

The pupil never went out at night again.

I hadn't seen this thread before...

This has made my day :laugh:

Alexandre Orion wrote: One afternoon, Wescli was visiting V-tog. “Where is your wooden staff, the one I carved for you?” asked Wescli. V-tog said, “It broke when I hit a student over the head with it.”

Wescli then said, “And where is that candleholder I brought you from Texas ?” V-tog responded, “It broke when I threw it at a lazy student.” Wescli shook his head and said, “There seems to be a problem here with your anger”.

V-tog said, “No, the problem is you keep giving me things that break.”

Obedience

The Jedi Knight V-tog's talks were attended not only by Jedi students but by persons of all ranks and creeds. She never quoted doctrines, and did not indulge in scholastic dissertations. Instead, her words were spoken directly from her heart to the hearts of her listeners.

Her large audience angered a Sith Lord because the adherents had left to hear about Jediism. The self-centered Sith Lord came to the temple, determined to have a debate with V-tog.

"Hey, Jedi teacher!" he called out. "Wait a minute. Whoever respects you will obey what you say, but a man like myself does not respect you. Can you make me obey you?"

"Come up beside me and I will show you," said V-tog.

Proudly the priest pushed his way through the crowd to the teacher.

V-tog smiled. "Come over to my left side."

The Sith Lord obeyed.

"No," said V-tog, "we may talk better if you are on the right side. Step over here."

The Sith Lord proudly stepped over to the right.

"You see," observed V-tog, "you are obeying me and I think you are a very gentle person. Now please sit down and listen."

Open Your Own Treasure House

Adam visited the Wescli in Texas. Wescli asked: "What do you seek?"

"Enlightenment," replied Adam.

"You have your own treasure house. Why do you search outside?" Wescli asked.

Adam inquired: "Where is my treasure house?"

Wescli answered: "What you are asking is your treasure house."

Adam was enlightened! Ever after he urged his friends: "Open your own tresure house and use those treasures."

True Friends

A long time ago in TotJO there were two friends, Proteus and Alexandre, one who played the guitar skilfully and one who listened skilfully.

When Proteus played or sang about a mountain, Alexandre would say: "I can see the mountain before us."

When Proteus played about water, Alexandre would exclaim: "Here is the running stream!"

But Alexandre fell sick and died. Proteus cut the strings of his guitar and never played again. Since that time the cutting of guitar strings has always been a sign of intimate friendship.

Has anyone here "passed" any koans??

How do you feel about them after? Did your practiced get amped, or did it come to a standstill? Or neither?

I am working on one myself and am still on the checking questions. Sometimes I get going on them and really "tap in to 'em", but lately i've been sucking air trying to keep up.

Any experiences?

Has anyone here "passed" any koans??

"Solar-san…" Jack started, timidly. The old witch looked up from her pipe, "…I've been reading a lot of these koans lately… I don't really get them."

'Then, you have passed.' Solar-san replied.

Jack went away and thought it over a day. Then, she came back.

"Ah! I get it all, now." She said. Solar-san shook her head.

'And now, you will truly begin to fail.'

Think of learning Jediism...

Every-Minute Zen

Zen students are with their masters at least ten years before they presume to teach others. Nan-in was visited by Tenno, who, having passed his apprenticeship, had become a teacher. The day happened to be rainy, so Tenno wore wooden clogs and carried an umbrella. After greeting him Nan-in remarked: "I suppose you left your wodden clogs in the vestibule. I want to know if your umbrella is on the right or left side of the clogs."

Tenno, confused, had no instant answer. He realized that he was unable to carry his Zen every minute. He became Nan-in's pupil, and he studied six more years to accomplish his every-minute Zen.

A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin and asked, "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"

"Who are you?", asked Hakuin.

"I am a samurai.", the warrior replied.

"You, a soldier!", exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."

Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued, "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."

As Nobushige drew his sword, Hakuin remarked, "Here open the gates of hell!"

At these words, the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.

"Here open the gates of paradise.", said Hakuin.

Nasreddin had a leaky ferry-boat, and used it to row people across the river. One day his passenger was a fussy schoolteacher, and on the way across he decided to give Nasreddin a test and see how much he knew.

"Tell me, Nasreddin, what are eight sixes?"

"I've no idea."

"How do you spell magnificence?"

"I don't."

"Didn't you study anything at school?"

"No."

"In that case, half your life is lost."

Just then a fierce storm blew up, and the boat began to sink.

"Tell me, schoolteacher," said Nasreddin. "Did you ever learn to swim?"

"No."

"In that case, your whole life is lost."

A Shorter Line

One day Akkarin drew a line with his hand on the floor of the open court and told his apprentices that if they wanted to keep heir positions they must make the line shorter without touching any part of it.

Apprentice after apprentice approached and stood staring at the puzzle, but they were unable to solve the problem.

After watching a while, Jestor stepped forward and drew a longer line next to the first one, without touching the first line.

Everyone look at it and agreed. The first line was definitely shorter.

Tanzen and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on girl", said Tanzen at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzen, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzen. "Are you still carrying her?"

A Jedi Initiate was told to go on a long journey to another temple. He was much upset, because he felt that this trip would interrupt his studies for a long time. So he said to his friend, a Jedi Apprentice:


"Please ask permission to come with me on the trip. There are so many things I do not know; but if you come along we can discuss them - in this way I can learn as we travel."

"All right," said the Apprentice. "But let me ask you a question: If you are hungry, what satisfaction to you if I eat rice? If your feet are lame, what comfort to you if I go on merrily? If your bladder is full, what relief to you if I piss?"

While searching for an ancient book, ren found a great gem in Temple's library. He took it for himself, and was very proud of it. But the ring wasn't complete yet, some words needed to be written on it.

He was looking for something unique to write on that gem, so he announced "I'll give temple's treasure map, to the person who say something that, make me happy when I'm sad, and make me sad when I'm happy. But if someone try something, and it wasn't the way I wanted, I'll ban him immediately"

Many people tried to get the map, no one could say such a word, so ren banned almost half of temple's members. Then, master Jestor came in, and said "This, will pass too."

==

don't even know if this is a Koan... Just translated and changed name of one of old real stories

sorry to interrupt, aren't these same?

http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/Jediism/1929-Myths-and-ancient-teachings

There are several threads, topics and posts here that are very simular and sometimes the same.

Some topics come up again and again. And that's ok... sometimes they need to be brought back up! And some times the things that have been before get buried somewhere, lost and forgotten.

I think it is the spirit of what is in the posts which is more important.

The First Principle

When one goes to Obaku temple in Kyoto he sees carved over the gate the words "The First Principle". The letters are unusually large, and those who appreciate calligraphy always admire them as being a masterpiece. They were drawn by Akkarin two hundred years ago.

When Akkarin drew them he did so on paper, from which the Jedi made the large carving in wood. As Akkarin sketched the letters a bold fellow, named Alexandre was with him who had made several gallons of ink for the calligraphy and who never failed to criticize Akkarin's work.

"That is not good," he told Akkarin after his first effort.

"How is this one?"

"Poor. Worse than before," pronounced Alex.

Akkarin patiently wrote one sheet after another until eighty-four First Principles had accumulated, still without the approval of Alex.

Then when Alex stepped outside for a few moments, Akkarin thought: "Now this is my chance to escape his keen eye," and he wrote hurriedly, with a mind free from distraction: "The First Principle."

"A masterpiece," pronounced Alex.

This is a bit humorous, but it still fits the nature of a koan, which is to free your mind of rational thought

If a bear craps in the woods and noone is there to witness it, does he wipe with a squirrel?


I came up with that years ago as an amusing alternative to this one:

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to see, does it make a sound?