Koans

A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin and asked, "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"

"Who are you?", asked Hakuin.

"I am a samurai.", the warrior replied.

"You, a soldier!", exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."

Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued, "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."

As Nobushige drew his sword, Hakuin remarked, "Here open the gates of hell!"

At these words, the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.

"Here open the gates of paradise.", said Hakuin.

Nasreddin had a leaky ferry-boat, and used it to row people across the river. One day his passenger was a fussy schoolteacher, and on the way across he decided to give Nasreddin a test and see how much he knew.

"Tell me, Nasreddin, what are eight sixes?"

"I've no idea."

"How do you spell magnificence?"

"I don't."

"Didn't you study anything at school?"

"No."

"In that case, half your life is lost."

Just then a fierce storm blew up, and the boat began to sink.

"Tell me, schoolteacher," said Nasreddin. "Did you ever learn to swim?"

"No."

"In that case, your whole life is lost."

A Shorter Line

One day Akkarin drew a line with his hand on the floor of the open court and told his apprentices that if they wanted to keep heir positions they must make the line shorter without touching any part of it.

Apprentice after apprentice approached and stood staring at the puzzle, but they were unable to solve the problem.

After watching a while, Jestor stepped forward and drew a longer line next to the first one, without touching the first line.

Everyone look at it and agreed. The first line was definitely shorter.

Tanzen and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on girl", said Tanzen at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzen, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzen. "Are you still carrying her?"

A Jedi Initiate was told to go on a long journey to another temple. He was much upset, because he felt that this trip would interrupt his studies for a long time. So he said to his friend, a Jedi Apprentice:


"Please ask permission to come with me on the trip. There are so many things I do not know; but if you come along we can discuss them - in this way I can learn as we travel."

"All right," said the Apprentice. "But let me ask you a question: If you are hungry, what satisfaction to you if I eat rice? If your feet are lame, what comfort to you if I go on merrily? If your bladder is full, what relief to you if I piss?"

While searching for an ancient book, ren found a great gem in Temple's library. He took it for himself, and was very proud of it. But the ring wasn't complete yet, some words needed to be written on it.

He was looking for something unique to write on that gem, so he announced "I'll give temple's treasure map, to the person who say something that, make me happy when I'm sad, and make me sad when I'm happy. But if someone try something, and it wasn't the way I wanted, I'll ban him immediately"

Many people tried to get the map, no one could say such a word, so ren banned almost half of temple's members. Then, master Jestor came in, and said "This, will pass too."

==

don't even know if this is a Koan... Just translated and changed name of one of old real stories

sorry to interrupt, aren't these same?

http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/Jediism/1929-Myths-and-ancient-teachings

There are several threads, topics and posts here that are very simular and sometimes the same.

Some topics come up again and again. And that's ok... sometimes they need to be brought back up! And some times the things that have been before get buried somewhere, lost and forgotten.

I think it is the spirit of what is in the posts which is more important.

The First Principle

When one goes to Obaku temple in Kyoto he sees carved over the gate the words "The First Principle". The letters are unusually large, and those who appreciate calligraphy always admire them as being a masterpiece. They were drawn by Akkarin two hundred years ago.

When Akkarin drew them he did so on paper, from which the Jedi made the large carving in wood. As Akkarin sketched the letters a bold fellow, named Alexandre was with him who had made several gallons of ink for the calligraphy and who never failed to criticize Akkarin's work.

"That is not good," he told Akkarin after his first effort.

"How is this one?"

"Poor. Worse than before," pronounced Alex.

Akkarin patiently wrote one sheet after another until eighty-four First Principles had accumulated, still without the approval of Alex.

Then when Alex stepped outside for a few moments, Akkarin thought: "Now this is my chance to escape his keen eye," and he wrote hurriedly, with a mind free from distraction: "The First Principle."

"A masterpiece," pronounced Alex.

This is a bit humorous, but it still fits the nature of a koan, which is to free your mind of rational thought

If a bear craps in the woods and noone is there to witness it, does he wipe with a squirrel?


I came up with that years ago as an amusing alternative to this one:

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to see, does it make a sound?

I have always used the ever popular...

Do Fish have water tight butts?

RyuJin wrote: If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to see, does it make a sound?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it except for one man, but the tree falls on that man and kills him, does the man dying make a sound?

Yeah...

Splat!!:laugh:

When prison stocks are iron and have no place for the head, the prisoner is doubly in trouble.
When there is no place for Zen in the head of our generation, it is in grievous trouble.
If you try to hold up the gate and door of a falling house,
You also will be in trouble.

Everyday Life is the Path

Joshu asked Nansen: `What is the path?'

Nansen said: `Everyday life is the path.'

Joshu asked: `Can it be studied?'

Nansen said: `If you try to study, you will be far away from it.'

Joshu asked: `If I do not study, how can I know it is the path?'

Nansen said: `The path does not belong to the perception world, neither does it belong to the nonperception world. Cognition is a delusion and noncognition is senseless. If you want to reach the true path beyond doubt, place yourself in the same freedom as sky. You name it neither good nor not-good.'

At these words Joshu was enlightened.

Mumon's Comment: Nansen could met Joshu's frozen doubts at once when Joshu asked his questions. I doubt that if Joshu reached the point that Nansen did. He needed thirty more years of study.

In spring, hundreds of flowers; in autumn, a harvest moon;
In the summer, a refreshing breeze; in winter snow will accompany.
If useless things do not hang in your mind,
Any season is a good season for you.

There is a comic strip called hole mole ,its a great zen like strip....just thought i'd put that out there

This is one of my favorites. I first read it in the masterful koan work 'Bring me the Rhinoceros' by John Tarrant.

---

Emperor Wo of Liang asked the great master Bodhidharma,
"What is the main point of this holy teaching?"
"Vast emptiness, nothing holy," said Bodhidharma.
"Who are you, standing in front of me?" asked
the emperor.
"I do not know," said Bodhidharma.
The Emperor didn't understand. Bodhidharma
crossed the Yangtze River and went to the kingdom
of Wei.
Later, the emperor raised this matter with his
advisor, Duke Zhi. The advisor asked,
"Your Majesty, do you know who that Indian sage was?"
"No I don't," said the emperor.
"That was Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of
Compassion, carrying the seal of the Buddha's heart
and mind."
The emperor felt a sudden regret and said, "Send
a messenger to call him back."
Duke Zhi told him, "Your Majesty, even if everyone
in the kingdom went after him he wouldn't return."

I don't know where I first came across this idea (might have been Watts) but I have given it in koan form here

The Pen

Akkarin was giving a lecture to some Jedi students. He held up a pen and asked "What is this?"
"A pen!" one of the young students shouted from across the room.
"No" replied Akkarin.
That is when Proteus, who had been attending the lecture in silence, stood up and walked to the front where Akkarin was standing. He took the pen and on a piece of paper wrote one word: 'this'.

“The more the farmer increases the scale of his operation, the more his body and spirit are dissipated and the further he falls away from a spiritually satisfying life. A life of small-scale farming may appear to be primitive, but in living such a life, it becomes possible to contemplate the Great Way.”

Masanobu Fukuoka...

Two Jedi Padawans were walking along the road on a bright, winter day when they saw, in the distance ahead of them, an old Master Jedi was slowly hobbling along with his eyes shut.

"Look." Said the first padawan, "He must truly be a Master of the Force to be able to see without using his eyes."

"Of course not." Said the second, "He is still a mortal human, and is therefore a fool."

The two of them started to bicker until finally the old master crossed their paths.

"Master, my friend and I are disagreeing -- I say you must be a Master of the Force because you can walk with your eyes shut, and he says you're a fool for not relying on them when you are still just a human. Which of us is correct?"

The Master didn't open his eyes.

"Neither of you -- the sun is shining into my eyes, and I wouldn't be able to see, even if they were open."