Koans

Is That So?

The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbours as one living a pure life.

A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.

This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.

In great anger the parent went to the master. "Is that so?" was all he would say.

After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbours and everything else he needed.

A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fishmarket.

The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.

Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: "Is that so?"

A FAMOUS soldier came to the master Hakuin and asked: "Master,
tell me: is there really a heaven and a hell?"

"Who are you?" asked Hakuin.

"I am a soldier of the great Emperor's personal guard."

"Nonsense!" said Hakuin. "What kind of emperor would have you
around him? To me you look like a beggar!" At this, the soldier
started to rattle his big sword in anger. "Oho!" said Hakuin. "So
you have a sword! I'll wager it's much too dull to cut my head
off!"

At this the soldier could not hold himself back. He drew his sword
and threatened the master, who said: "Now you know half the
answer! You are opening the gates of hell!"

The soldier drew back, sheathed his sword, and bowed. "Now you
know the other half," said the master. "You have opened the gates
of heaven."

i would like to see some modern versions.

Desolous wrote: i would like to see some modern versions.

Bob the Janitor was praised by his neighbours as one living a pure life.

A gorgeous senator's daughter whose parents had great influence. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.

This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Bob.

In great anger the parents went to the janitor. "Is that so?" was all he would say.

After the child was born it was brought to Bob. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained child benefit from his council and everything else he needed.

A year later the senator's daughter could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked for the other political party.

The mother and father of the girl at once went to Bob to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.

Bob was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: "Is that so?"

The Jedi Desolous showed his wisdom even as an apprentice. Once he broke
the precious heirloom teacup of his teacher, and was greatly
upset. While he was wondering what to do, he heard Akkarin
coming. Quickly he hid the pieces of the cup under his iPad.

"Akkarin," he said, "why do things die?"

"It is perfectly natural for things to die and for the matter
gathered in them to separate and disintegrate," said Akkarin.
"When its time has come every person and every thing must go.

"Akkarin," said Desolous, showing the pieces, "it was time for
your cup to go."

(How's that for a 'modern' version ?)

Inch Time Foot Gem

A lord asked Takuan, a Zen teacher, to suggest how he might pass the time. He felt his days very long attending his office and sitting stiffly to receive the homage of others.

Takuan wrote eight Chinese characters and gave them to the man:

Not twice this day
Inch time foot gem.
This day will not come again.
Each minute is worth a priceless gem.

Jestor and Desolous were talking in the TOTJO library....

And discussing the relavance of the older bits of wisdom...

As they were walking past Ren the prankster, Ren tripped Desolous, causing him to fall and shatter his wristwatch...

"Now," said Senior Knight Akkarin, "You and the old words, are equal"...

THE MASTER Jestor drew the words "The First Principle" which are
carved over the gate of the Temple of the Jedi Order. He drew them
with his brush on a sheet of paper later they were carved in wood.

Viskhard had mixed the ink for him, and stood by,
watching the master's calligraphy. Viskhard said, "Not so good!"
Jestor tried again. Viskhard said: "That's worse than the first
one!" and Jestor tried again.

After the sixty-fourth try, the ink was running low, and Viskhard
went out to mix some more. Left alone, undistracted by any
critical eye watching him, Jestor made one more quick drawing with
the last of the ink. When Viskhard returned, he took a good look
at this latest effort.

"A masterpiece!" he said.


(modernised again, but in reflecting on it, a bit of personalisation may do us some good ... What does anyone else feel about that ?)

Well...I don't know a whole lot about Koans, (thought they were something you ate for breakfast, hmmm), but I love the characters being replaced by members of the TOTJO, they make me laugh, and we need all the laughter we can get (at least I do)...

The principle of koans is quite simple, Zenchi. They are phrases or short situational stories that cannot be comprehended by Reason. In order to experience the wisdom in a koan, one must - as Watts points out "go out of one's mind".

We, even through our teachings and meditations, live in a world dominated by unbalanced Reason ; not that Reason in and of itself is harmful, but it has limits, and thus Reason alone blinds us to Reality. And laughter is part of it : paradox, irony ... and certainly to laugh at ourselves. Yet, (probably) we tend to read them with our Western educated minds.

What began as sort of a joke in response to Desolous, I feel may be good for us. It makes the stories about 'us' rather than to just be understood as old oriental wisdom from ages past ... So, therein lies the question : How do the rest of you feel about these 'modernisations', to make them a bit more personal to us ? Could this help us access the wisdom in them more easily ? How do you feel about that ?