What Love Means (To Give of Yourself?)

jimcode3 wrote: Proteus is really wise; I learned this very quickly, and I'm one of the newest here! We should buy him a nice long white fake beard to wear so he can look the part of the wise old man (Gandalf, Merlin, Dumbledore, what have you).

I'm flattered... but I'd just end up passing it to Alex. He's already got the qualifications, plus a pimpin' cane.

When reading the responses, this is what came to mind...

"For it is in giving that we receive;"
- The Jedi Creed

When you give just to feel good about yourself, why is it you feel good about yourself? Why did you feel good about giving?

Overall Proteus, I am in agreement with your posts. Very well thought out and with 32 years of marriage behind me, I can tell you that you must give 100% of yourself everyday of your marriage.

I would like to focus on the word "Take"...as in "I take you..." or "Do you Take..."

Although it is most important to give yourself to your mate, you must also be willing to "Take" that person into your being. Accepting another person to be in your life, for the rest of your life, is as required to the success of the marriage, or any relationship, as giving yourself to the relationship.

Every person has the right to their own life and way of living. In the first year of a married couple relationship, it is important to learn each others habits and idiosyncrasies, and to understand them and accept them, if the marriage is to succeed.

You must be willing to take the other person as they are, without compromise or trying to change them. By trying to change another persons traits, you stand the chance that they will become embittered by having to make sacrifices they thought you understood and accepted.

I take my wife as she is, as I would have her, into my life, forever, and I prey that she would have me, and take me, as I am, into her life, forever!

I see what you mean Phortis. There is one... I guess semantic issue I might be having and that is between the words "take" and "accept".

It might be nick-picking, but in my eyes, "take" has always meant something different than "accept". When I hear the word "take", it, more often than not, seems to be defined independent of the act of being given. The word "accept" though, seems to imply and more naturally respect the act of "giving".

Of course, the idea of "taking" as I explain it here, is commonly not what is naturally being inferred during wedding vows (it more seems to me that "accepting" is though). But I sometimes think about another aspect of the power of words (subliminally perhaps?) that when we hear the word "take" in this context, we're not consciously thinking of "grabbing regardless of being given", but behind the consciousness, I wonder if it plants a seed of this idea anyway?

If I were writing the vows, I would rather use accept (or any similarly respectful word) over take.

This topic makes me sad because I have not a poetic bone in my body, and if a topic ever deserved a poet this would be it!!!!

Definition of love for me is two people passionate about each other. Passion to me means self sacrifice mixed in with conscious and subconscious intention toward each other. It might also not be limited to 2 people, but the maximized condition would have to be 2 because each person could fixate 100% of available attention to each other.

So to make it more unromatic, according to my definition it is not the state of being enamoured!!! In my definition two people who hated each other with an active passion would be considered in love!? I differentiate those by asserting that one direction is constructive and the other destructive, and you can love someone and still feel like you hate them - but that runs the risk of switching from constructive to destructive. So importantly its not about the feeling, but the commitment. The feeling is the effect and the shared commitment the cause. So its less "I [feel like I] am in love with you" and more "I'm in love with you and it feels fantastic" IMO (if indeed its love and not lust dressed up as love). Lust can be one way, but when its two ways its lust only if its short term, otherwise its lusty love
:lol:

The other uses of the word love seem more like exaggerations being used instead for other types of passion which are probably more one way.

Interesting topic

Love, share

from lennon
We were led to believe that 'Love of my life"only happens once, usually before age 30. We are not told that love is not powered, or arrives at a particular time

We were led to believe that each of us is half of an orange, and that life only has meaning when we find the other half. It told us that we are born whole in our life no one deserves to carry on their backs, complete responsibility for what we lack.

People grow through people. If you're in good company, it is more enjoyable.

They made us believe in a formula called "2 in 1": two people think alike, act alike, that was what worked. It told us that it has a name, "Banned". Being only individuals with personality, we can have a healthy relationship.

We were led to believe that marriage is compulsory and desires out of time, must be suppressed. We were led to believe are cute and skinny ones. (hahaha)

We were led to believe that there is only a formula for happiness, the same for all, and beyond it are doomed to marginality. It told us that these formulas are wrong, frustrate people, are alienating and we can try other alternatives. Oh, did we say that someone was going to say this.

Each one is going to have what we find alone. And then when you're really in love with you, you are able to be very happy and you'll fall in love with someone.

We live in a world where we hide to make love ......... although violence is practiced in broad daylight.

666 wrote: We live in a world where we hide to make love ......... although violence is practiced in broad daylight.

That is a pretty intriguing thought...

Your whole reply is, but this especially in particular.

I've only read the original post so If I repeat something that's been said or addressed, I apologize.

I imagine the word "take" to mean "accept as is". Or "as is and as will be". You accept (take) that person into your heart, family, and life just as they are with no agenda to change them. In fact, you may even realize you love them because of their faults rather than in spite of them.

I could be way off, but this line of thinking is pleasing to my mind, so I allow it.

I give of myself continuously, without thought, and without interest in repayment...I never even once stopped to think of why I do it...I just do it...never even considered it as being love...

As far as giving/taking....I think love is about compromise/recipricalcy (at least true romantic love)...all involved have to give willingly of themselves, and have to willingly accept(take)of others....unconditionally