What is more important?

As it were, I'm not so sure that this is a question of "importance". Both kisses and sex (in its various varieties) have some 'communicative' as well as biological importance (meaning, in this case, 'bringing some sort of benefit').

Sex is one of those biological needs, on the very bottom rung of Maslow's pyramid. I would not suggest depriving someone of a good shag just because in our complicated, symbolic and illusory system of social conventions that person has not yet found his/her "soul-mate(s)". Consent of the two (or however many there are) is essential, but that is as far as anyone's morality should govern. That sort of prohibition, or just the taboo of it, is health threatening on several levels.

A kiss has a different sort of importance. Whereas much sex is still primordial impulse (cf. A. Schopenhauer), kisses are usually more genuine, communicating a feeling of some kind, from basic camaraderie to something more deep. This would correspond to the third and fourth levels of Maslow's pyramid of needs, those being belonging and esteem/love, respectively. Of course, sex, given the symbolism we have given it, can also fulfil the needs at these levels also, in keeping with the situation.

So, since we cannot say that what fulfils the basal needs are less important than those on a basal need dependent level, we can only say that the importance is of a different understanding.

That said, we would do well to remember that even genuine feelings, though they may last a bit longer than an oxytocin rush, do not last forever either. Both sex and kisses become memories. The important question then would be : what kind of memories does one hope to create ?

Desolous wrote: yeah, that was the rule in 'pretty woman' too, until richard gere's character fell for julia roberts' character then they kissed and lived happily ever after.

Having never seen Pretty Woman, I can't say. I just know it's a rule amongst most of the poly, group and swinger sorts that I know, almost specifically for the people in relationships.

'pretty woman' was a hooker.

Desolous wrote: 'pretty woman' was a hooker.

That could add another dimension to importance : that of commercial liquidity.

(sorry, it was a bad pun I just couldn't resist)

Kalkho wrote: I was recently astounded by a seemingly simple question: what's more important - a kiss or sex? What about you?

I'm just a simple guy. The obvious answer is whichever fills two people with the most LOVE.

Don't ask me to define "love".

i always thought an emotional connection was more important than either a kiss or sex....

dunno maybe i'm what they'd call a "hopeless romantic"?...

I am often fascinated by the humans need to classify things in terms of "this is more important to that".

A kiss and sex. First of all, does one HAVE to be more important than the other? Can they not both be equally important based on the situation?

That is how I look at it. Neither one is more important than the other. It depends on the situation.

All I know is that it's important to give a kiss AFTER the sex