High Expectations vs No Expectations

I tend to make expectations of myself and try not to make expectations of others or situations.

Making expectations of myself gives me another form of motivation. Form example, I'll set myself a task and 'expect' myself to complete it in a certain time scale and standard. I'm then in a kind of competition with myself. It helps me get things done. The key is to not be too over optimistic though. I know my limits and I'll push them, but not too much that the outcome is more likely to end in failure. If I do fail, and it does occasionally happen, then I have been over expectant of myself.

So from my own explanation, if I had no expectation I would have nothing to fight for, but high or over expectation can lead to failure. So the balance of both is the winner.

Balance - Equilibrium - Yin & Yang.

I will tell you that I have a sign hanging in my office which reads, “How can I lower your expectations of me?”

Hahhahahahhahha

I think that when there is a logical outcome based on empirical data of a known set of articles then expectation of said occurrence should come into play. And when the unknown has occurred, it gives us pause for thought.

But if we go through life expecting that which cannot be expected then we set ourselves to be distracted from where the value is… here and now.

I agree, Wescli! If we know a certain outcome SHOULD occur with a set quantifiable practice, and it does not occur, we should be able to look for the problem to rectify. I think that is where expectations come in handy the most, and usually they are natural.

When I posted this topic I was interested to see whether everyone thought along these lines:

david tatum wrote: i look at it like this if you dont expect anything you wont be disapointed

Reliah wrote: It is better to not have expectations at all. If you have expectations you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.

It is the 'Jedi' way of thinking, I think. Much of what we study here teaches us to live in the present moment and not spend all of our time looking to the future - expectations involve basing your actions on what you want to happen in the future, so having them sort of goes against our way of thinking. In generalized terms, of course.

In general, having expectations that are too high will mean that you can never feel fulfilled...again, something that is important to Jedi particularly as we generally strive to find some degree of self-fulfillment.

However...I don't think that it's always that simple. I largely liked this way of looking at it:

Seraph Arel wrote: I tend to make expectations of myself and try not to make expectations of others or situations.

Again, if we have no expectations of ourselves then we cannot fail to achieve them, and thus we can avoid that feeling of discontent or unfulfillment. But...I personally would struggle to do things without expectations. Having expectations of ourselves is what gives us motivation - something that we often need.

And also - yes, it does make life difficult to have expectations for others, because you have very little influence over whether they live up to them. But (I know I can't speak from experience) what about your children, for example? Would you not have expectations for them? Not necessarily that they will grow up and be a famous lawyer or anything, but...you expect them to be polite? Or to care about others?

Some of you have cheated and answered that it is best to be have balance between high expectations and none, when you were supposed to choose one or the other :laugh: But for the record, I agree with that view. It's trickier to choose one or the other, and perhaps it does depend on whether you are talking about expectations of yourself or others...and it's a very close thing. I guess that I would go with no expectations...but I don't think that it is actually a desirable mindset.

I wish I had found this sooner.
Don't we have to have high expectations of ourselves?
We have a standard which we are supposed to attempt to attain.
Low expectations from others is not something we should be willing to except either, if we don't hold people to a high standard, they will never try to reach it.
If people are unaware they have not met your expectaions, how then will they improve.
This can be...expecting people to treat you with respect.. it can be expecting to get a hot meal when you pay for it in a restaurant...it can be anything...
If you don't have expectations, high expectations, isn't that more of a dissapointment for life in general?
Expect nothing and you won't be dissapointed sounds a little defeatest to me...just saying.