I need some advice...

Hello everyone.
There have been alot of things on my mind lately that I haven't found answers too...
Maybe some of you can help...

I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am still living in Oklahoma but i dont feel comfortable listing what town I currently reside in. I hate the town im currently living in. I've lived here since i was two years old. I am now 19. I've made alot of friends and enemies. Now'a days it seems like more enemies than friends. All the friends I did have are drug users. I was friends with them becuase of some dark years of my life, I too battled with drug addiction. I realized that drugs were not for me. My friends and I drifted apart. I've even gotten into fist fights with some of them because they were being hostile due to drug use...Also btw, I only raise my fists when i feel threatened, Kinda like a porkupine. Now i have no friends because they continue there struggle with drugs. The ones i got into fights with talked ill behind my back. Now recently i confronted my brother because he still liked to hang around with them...i felt betrayed...he got defensive and now we've hardly spoken to one another..hes the one person i have in my family who deeply cares for me and he cant even see how much i care about him. I feel scared, alone, and forced to hide in my house and live in a town i dont want to live in because i am financial unstable to move anywhere else...

Also, I dont have problems with people who do drugs, I only feel sorrow because they were unable to open their eyes to the what-could-be wonderful world around them...

Hmmm...that's a tough situation.

I'm going to throw a suggestion out there that might seem a little off the wall, but it was something I did last weekend that worked wonders for me.

Find someplace beautiful to go to, alone if possible. Soak up the energy of that place and let it pour into you, fill you up. Then, when you feel sufficiently at peace and energized, reenter your world and face it with this new energy inside you.

You'll find that it doesn't matter how many friends you have or don't have or how alone you feel; with that energy inside you, you'll begin to see the world in a new and beautiful way and the events or people that are necessary for your growth will begin to show up and walk the path with you.

That is how it's been going for me the last several days, I'm just at the beginning.

May The Force Be With You fellow Jedi,
LTK

Here's the first step to solving your problem: Ask the "right" questions. In fact, a question is the first step to everything.

In your case, I would suggest looking at your issue from sides other than your own to find the questions that need to be asked. How do you know what the right questions are? Simple: you already have the answers laying in front of you. Just take off the blindfold called: "me": and see the problem shine like white light into a prism bursting into everything.

First: Your living conditions.
You don't like Oklahoma, and finances keep you there. I am assuming you don't have family elsewhere by the sound of your post. So, it depends on the lifestyle you want to have. Maybe you're staying because of financial security. In that case, the question would be: "can I be happy without money at all?" Maybe homelessness is a possible solution. Maybe possessions are keeping you from finding happiness. Of course, maybe that's not the right question for YOU. You must find the right questions on your own. I only provide example.

Second: Your Friends.
You feel separated from them. What is separating you? Their actions? Then your question should be out in front of you: "Why do you choose the friends you do?" Maybe whenever you think of your friends, you can only see the violence they are causing themselves. Their inner turmoil. This is your compassion. This is your sadness. And, it's ok. You must come to terms with that reality. When you do, you might find that "action" is the best answer. Maybe tough love. Or, maybe you'll find that they are not your friends anymore at all, and any action will bring the end of you.

Your fear is centered on things your compassion brought on. You tried to defend your view by imposing it on theirs. You've tried to help them see that drugs will mar their happiness and perspective on reality. But, at this point, it sounds like you are living a pipedream. You have succumbed to this fear. Only by freeing yourself from fear can you live your life in happiness. I don't, honestly, have the answers. I can only point you in the right direction.

And, it all starts within. Looking at exactly WHAT you're afraid of and tackling the problem internally. From there, you can asses your action and proceed. If you have ideas about exactly what your fears are, or you have questions, feel free to PM me. I know I'm not "accepted" as a teacher around here, so if you want an official TOTJO view, don't ask me. Yet, in my humble state, I can help you seek answers, not give them to you.

If you do not like those people then there is nothing wrong with being your own person. What LTK said has worked for me as well. If you still are interested and able to hang around with them then I'd consider suspending all judgement about their behaviours and decisions. Each person has their own path to walk, but your exposure provides you an opportunity to know the dangers and provide support if things go wrong. Its easy to be a friend during the good times, but the real friends are still there during the bad times. Your experience might tell you perhaps they are going through a bad time even if they do not yet realize it....... but, if they are a bad influence on you then I think its important to surround yourself with positive influences on your life or at least make way for positive ones to be drawn toward you, so I'd also consider the wonderful new opportunities which might exist in the very near future, you never know whats just around the corner.

In regard to your own lifes direction, perhaps another way to help work out where your going is by working backwards from where you want to be. People often decide on a goal and then try to work out the steps to get there from where they are, but I find its easier to work out the other way around. It just seems to get the priorities better matched up with the motivations.

Sit down and meditate on it, but these are a few ideas I have for you:

Military- you would be surprised how much just one contract term can teach you about yourself. I didn't think it would work for me, but after 8 1/2 years I've come to understand so much about myself it's not funny. I'm out now, but only because I hit a stand-still in my growth.

Go where the money is- if you decide that you cannot do the military (it's not for everyone), move to a town where the economy is stable, it will be a lot easier to get a job. Being that you are in Oklahoma, Texas has a decent number of cities where the economy is doing well.

Look for some roommates (on Craig's List, not people you know currently), that should help you get on your feet.

You do not need "advice", Sato. Advice is cheap. You need guidance and understanding. Please gnow that you have both at your disposal.

What LtK and Adder have said is not only 'off the wall', it goes right through the wall. That is why it works. Your concerns have closed in on you and you feel imprisoned by them. So, in order to gain clarity in these matters, you will have to go beyond the prison you perceive. Don't look too hard for your beautiful place, let it find you. Revisit Campbell, Sacrifice & Bliss. When we search actively for it, we are always thinking, "oh, is it here ? is it here ? is it over there ?" and we miss it. So, feel, don't think ... somewhere, and perhaps even in your own room, suddenly everything starts to feel lighter. Then you'll know you've found it.

Once arrived at this point, then it is effectively your questions which you sort out. What is the problem ? Is it geographic ? Granted, Oklahoma is not a shining cultural Mecca, but the geography is only a minor dimension in all of this. Be confident that what you are experiencing in Oklahoma happens also in the centre of Paris. The circumstances centre on the relational, not the geographic, so focus on the relational.

In your special place, or even just on the way to it, talk to yourself. Not 'talking to yourself' in the manner of the incessant ramblings of the mental circus that goes on by itself, but have a real heart-to-heart conversation with you. Do not try to take on all of the problems you perceive at once ; go one at a time. Try to avoid the 'he said/she said' or 'who hit whom first' details. Those are not the real problems. Dig down to the underlying foundation. What is really going on ? Once you feel as though you have identified this, first you will know what the problem is that you are facing and can more aptly discover the solution, and secondly, you may find that it is not a problem at all but a call to adventure that you are resisting.

With regard to the drug addiction elements of your dilemma. Addicts, in order to get well, must first accept that their addiction is more powerful than they are, and then accept to allow a power greater than they are to help restore them. This is a herculean labour ; we often get into drugs because of that self-same feeling of powerlessness. In considering friends and/or family, one must accept being far less powerful than the addiction of another person, regardless of who that persons may be and how desperately we wish to help.

Be patient. Be honest to yourself and work through the initiates programme (for you ! not just to get it done). And come talk to us whenever you feel it. The next right steps will become evident to you.

Just before closing, I'll assure you that you have my firmest understanding. I had to live in similar conditions in Illinois, where, the farther south one goes, the more it resembles Oklahoma (just perhaps a little more green ...). Desperate, unstimulated people remain desperate, unstimulated people wherever they are. You can do nothing about that. Just find your own path ....

its hard, but you have to stay strong. to give in on the first hurdle means that you wont get anywhere. do these people approach you to start a fight?if so then try to avoid them. i dont know that area, i dont know where you live, what street so i cant say go down this road but if you know where they are, move somewhere else. dont hide cause they could come knocking on your door.
with your brother, i fell out with my brother and we haven't spoken for ages but he still cared enough for me to send an email. you just have to talk to him, maybe get help for him. by doing that you are helping both yourself and your brother.
drugs get to peoples minds, your friends probably dont mean it. they just need to get off the drugs and you will see their true selves. its hard, very hard. i dont know what else to suggest. just know we are here and that you dont have to live in fear, you have friends here.
just dont fall into the trap of pressure, keep calm and may the force be with you.

Thank you everyone for the guidance.
You are all very wise and it inspires me to keep going with my
teachings.
It means alot.

To Adder, learn_to_Know, and AlexandreOrion:

I also actually just got done with Joseph Campbell's Sacrifice and Bliss and learned about sacred places. It seems the Force acts in many ways.

This will be a very interesting response to your question. Depending on how close to Okcity you are I know a great TKD school there that is full of wonderful people who are unlifting, inspiring and can hit really hard!!!!

Now a traditional response. Lets put it this way your situation sucks but is not unlike many people within the Jedi community. Many people come to the Jedi community for a combination of reasons. The first is for other like minded people and the other is do to loneliness or discontent within their own lives. At this time all you can do is focus on yourself and keep yourself from falling into the same pitfalls as those around you.