What Defines a Man as a Man?

I've recently been doing a lot of meditating about the nature of my own manhood. I feel there is a lot to work on with myself in terms of becoming more of one.

There is a blog called The Art of Manliness in which there is a recent article about writing one's own manifesto, an affirmation on one's own principles of being a man. I've written my own in a private blog on blogger but figured I could post it here to start the conversation off as to my thoughts on being a man.

By no means am I sexist in nature so I hope this topic does not offend anybody with its spotlight on men. This topic also invites somebody to create another topic on the idea of being a woman as well.

This is my Manifesto (so far):

TO BE A MAN

I am a man, not a boy or a child. I may have weaknesses but I am not weak. My existence as a male calls me to build who I am physically as well as mentally to be that of a fortress. To work hard is not to labor for the masters of this world but to construct myself, my home, and my world for those I love. As a man I am called to be a leader. I will exhibit courage in the face of my fears. I stand tall. I do not back down. I will face and endure pain, suffering, confusion, and humility as my source of wisdom, intelligence, and success. I am my world. No other person therefore shall define it but me.

TO BE INDEPENDENT

When I am in need, I will not refuse the help I am wise to know will serve me. To abuse this help lessens me as a true adult. All plans, actions, and reactions are in the sake of becoming and standing as a leader. A leader to myself, to the family I raise, and to all my companions who wish to look to me for inspiration. I am called to obtain my own homestead, to build my own income, and to define and enforce the rules which keep myself in line as well as guide those around me for all reasons necessary.

TO BE PEACEFUL

I am an instrument of love and peace. My motions are harmonious and balanced to the best of my ability. I treat all people with respect and withdrawal my presence from those who have rejected it. I am patient. Through calmness I manifest a clear mind to observe the world and society without letting myself become subjected to the things I know better not to. As a true person, I am full of love of all kinds, both friendly and intimate. I am here to give to those my time and my services. To my lover I give the deepest recesses of my heart and my body. I protect, support, and inspire.

So what are your thoughts on what makes a real man in your eyes? Is it the idea of being tough? Is it more the idea of being compassionate? I post this because your thoughts may really help me (not to mention others) to get a better grasp on this topic in my efforts of improving myself through this lens.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

MTFBWY

I suppose my view on this is more subjective. I don't associate much with "manliness" it comes down to what it takes within your own identity to feel like you are fulfilling who you should be, not a specific association with being a man or woman. Indeed, when in deepest meditation I find gender evaporates entirely and I am just me. While aspiring to an ideal can be good, aspire to be the ideal you. Not necessarily the best man you can be as it becomes easy to become caught up with social expectations and historical ideas of men. Only you can inform on what it means to be you. All of society has a say in what it means to be a man.

Red Lila wrote: I suppose my view on this is more subjective. I don't associate much with "manliness" it comes down to what it takes within your own identity to feel like you are fulfilling who you should be, not a specific association with being a man or woman. Indeed, when in deepest meditation I find gender evaporates entirely and I am just me. While aspiring to an ideal can be good, aspire to be the ideal you. Not necessarily the best man you can be as it becomes easy to become caught up with social expectations and historical ideas of men. Only you can inform on what it means to be you. All of society has a say in what it means to be a man.

I agree very much. Regardless, I felt this would make an interesting topic since everyone has their own views on it and can easily be inspiring nonetheless.

I generally agree with Red Lila that identity should not depend on gender. Of course, for most people gender has always been a large part of who they are and of who they plan to be in the future, so it is hard to shake off the notion. However, I like your manifesto, but to me it would be more aptly titled 'to be a responsible adult human'. I think that the values described in it could just as much apply to women as men.

All cultural definitions aside, a man is a human adult with male genetalia. I don't buy into the left-wing garbage that says people are born with the wrong genitals, that's just stupid. on the other hand, I don't make assumptions or judge people based on their sex.

All cultural definitions aside, a man is a human adult with male genetalia.

I agree with this (I'd say human adult male). With the odd case of "nature gone wrong" being exempt. I particularly dislike the whole "what's a real man" BS that is being spread by feminists and their male victims.

I don't buy into the left-wing garbage that says people are born with the wrong genitals

I think this will backfire on you big time.

Star Forge wrote: I don't buy into the left-wing garbage that says people are born with the wrong genitals, that's just stupid.

Wow, really?

Your opinion is that "it is stupid"?

Yet, more and more this seems to be the case.... As it gets accepted by society...

Honestly, I find your, uniformed opinion about the way in which life actually is, versus the way you think it ought to be in your definition, kinda sad...

In your plea to have us understand any opinion you give, you tell us that we need to understand you and your opinion, accept you for who you are...

But, you judge the opinion of others, who's lives you have not lived, nor problems you've not faced?

Interesting...

Nearing the end of my teenage years and transitioning into what society accepts as a man, I can probably give a different view than someone who has been seen as a man for many years.

I think that being a man is standing for what you believe to be right, protecting that which you love, and spreading peace to a seemingly chaotic world.

As I step up to this responsibility, I'd like to have the ability to stand on my own, but the desire to stand with comrades. Knowing my flaws and accepting them will help me better evaluate who I am and face the trials of adulthood.

My views will probably change or be added too as I grow older. By all means, if I've failed to see something, tell me so. May the Force be with you.

Darren wrote: I think that being a man is standing for what you believe to be right, protecting that which you love, and spreading peace to a seemingly chaotic world.

As I step up to this responsibility, I'd like to have the ability to stand on my own, but the desire to stand with comrades. Knowing my flaws and accepting them will help me better evaluate who I am and face the trials of adulthood.

Again though, are these not general traits required to live life as a responsible adult, as opposed to a man in particular?

If the original question 'what defines a man as a man' means 'what does it mean to be a man as opposed to a woman', is there actually anything other than the physical features of a male and the role that the man plays in reproduction?