Why is change so hard for us to accept?

Narkissos, your imput is just amazing. I do not only agree with you, but what you have written has also hit the nail on the head so to say and it is brilliantly put. You say you are from Austria, I do not know if you are Austrian, but your English is top.

Yes our society is indeed oligarchical which depends on that very fear of change their heard of "sheep" breath. Of course there can be no profit for these "shepherds" of society if there is no change in society, so like you have pointed out the "sheep" loose themselves into a collective environment. Changes are then easier to manage under the covers of expansion, profit, job opportunities, finance markets, social schemes, globalisation etc., and because we, being a part of those changes, are under the impression we are also changing for the better. So where does that leave each of us in the face of personal fate? I think Master Jestor has and can answer this best! Master Jestor I also changed to a more meaningful job, but I became better off than before.

No doubt political, social, employment etc isuues have their importance but do we not focus head heavy on our environment to define our identity and what we are worth? In Germany they like to greet you with the question "what job do you have?". Other common questions are "How much do you have?" or "How much do you earn?". This has become so important that we unbelievably consider ourselves failures if we do not possess the latest High Def system, or the latest i Phone etc. These thing have become who we are.

Why do relationships and the welfare of others get left on the way side? The appreciation of a helped person can be one of the greatest feeling in this world. Is this this not a far deeper inward reaching feeling of self worth.

What is more important to be trapped in a job you may hate because of credit card bills than doing something more fulfilling. I am pretty certain when I say that the last thought we will have when our heads hit the pillows will be the people who have touched our lives and not the things we own.

Thank you, Jon

Yes, I am indeed Austrian, but I've developed an aesthetic love for the english language one could say. I've been learning it for eleven years now - first in school, now for my studies from a more technical point of view. Also, I watch most movies and TV series in English and every now and then I read an english book (currently I'm giving The Lord of the Rings another try). I do in fact find languages in general very fascinating, although I only know German and English and a little Italian. But when I'm back at the university, I'd like to take on Japanese or Russian - given that they'll still offer courses for that.

But I'm getting off topic…

Regarding jobs, I think it's only natural that you ask a person what she or he does for a living, for one spends a great deal of his lifetime in his job. There is nothing wrong with asking what a person's job is as to find out what one big aspect of his life is about - what is wrong with this is, in my opinion, that so many people still don't like their jobs. So often you hear "It's just a job" or "It makes good money" or things like that. And of course I understand that sometimes there are circumstances that force you into doing what you get - maybe because you're awaiting a baby and need the money or something like that - but more often than not I guess it's just that fear of change and uncertainty that keeps them from doing what they would really want to do.
And I think that what you said, Jestor, is very much true - most times, when you decide to change something in your life to make it fit your personal interests more than it did before, you will find that your overall quality of life improves, even if you make less money than before. And certainly, one must make adjustments if the money situation changes, but that is nothing that couldn't be overcome, if it makes your life more meaningful. And it's not just you who benefits from that, but the people around you do so as well. As you wrote, Jestor - your family directly benefits from that, but also your friends, people that care about you.
We're often tempted to think that our own happiness doesn't affect other people, but that is just not true.

Just recently due to my being in hospital I've learned very amazingly how much it does affect other people. It is overwhelming how you can feel people that are close to you suffer, when they find out that you are not ok. And how happy it makes them feel when they see that you are.

I don't think that "relationships and the welfare of others" gets left aside - very often, people stay with there well paid jobs for their family. It's more that - as I already said - we very often don't realize that people that really matter and really care about us are more happy when we are happy, too.

But sadly, people nowadays are so attached to the things they own - and I don't make an exception for myself either. I enjoy having stuff. Being able to afford tech-gadgets to play around with, being able to afford redecorating my room, I enjoy every last thing of that. Doing that makes me feel good, it gives me the feeling of having control over my life, my state of happiness. But the truth - a truth, that I have realized on a rational level and I am now working towards grasping on a spiritual level, too - is that true happiness should come from within yourself, independent from things that you own or jobs that you have, or even your wife or girlfriend. But that is something that I - and I guess most people - have to learn again. I am now trying to do so because I've experienced in a very deep way how fragile every "happiness" that comes from "out there" is and how in the end none of it matters when you're not happy or at peace with your own self.

Just lie down for a moment, close your eyes, reax and imagine your world, your immediate environment. Imagine the things you do in everyday life, the things you enjoy in everyday life. Imagine how much you achieve, how much fun things are. BANG! There is no electricity. There is no running fresh water. No iphone, no TV, no internet, no TOTJO, no communication, no cyber chatting, no cooking, nothing to eat, no one to talk to, you can`t even find the toilet even when your bladder is bursting, fear over comes you so much that all inhibitions disappear, you pee in your pants. Who are you? Who are you now? What is important to you now? What are you going to do now?

Jon wrote: What are you going to do now?

pee on a tree and dump in a bush :laugh:

but seriously, it's human nature to want to preserve things in a permanent state of (perceived) perfection. it is a form of attachment, a nearly unbreakable bond to a set state of existence, and as anyone knows, when the bond does get broken it causes emotional hurt. only by training ourselves to "let go" of these attachments are we truly free from suffering.

this can be done by first acknowledging that nothing lasts forever...just look at the dinosaurs...for millions of years they were the pinnacle of evolution, then poof....gone...replaced by a new pinnacle of evolution....all good things must and do come to an end. enjoy what you have while you have it, but understand someday it will be gone, replaced, changed....

The tradgedy of our fear of change is that we settle for second or even third best. That way we have to think or worry less. In reality however we experience a deep inner dissatisfaction at not being in control. We begin to feel like second second class citizens just like the second class choices we make. This constant in our lives does wear us down day after day making us more moody, grumpy and impossible to live with. The combination of feeling like second class citizens, living with this burden and not being socally appreciated eventually makes us feel like victims who have been handed out the bum end of life. We feel sorry for ourselves. So how can we appreciate any advice which basically denotes that ours is the choice to make when we have been sucked so far down this vortex that we no longer can see the light?