- Posts: 1376
How should we act when awarded?
20 May 2019 16:58 - 20 May 2019 17:01 #338623
by ZealotX
I respectfully disagree.
Being pompous is an extreme of self-esteem. Self-esteem isn't binary. So let's say pompous is hot water and completely selfless humility is cold water.
The balance, which you get from integration, is then not pompous but "good self-esteem" where the potential for extremes are neutralizing. I think I'm great. BUT... I also think you are too. I do. And so, in the balance, I just think I'm good. See? It's relative. You can be great, but when you consider other people's greatness then it takes more for one person to be "exceptional" and they may be exceptional in one area where someone else has the "Gold" in another area. Everyone cannot be rich. For one to be rich someone else has to be poor. Therefore, if I want everyone to be rich then no one is rich.
But when it comes to certain competitions like sports, sometimes it shows that one person is "naturally more talented" than another... or... one person works harder than another... or one person may have had a better day or was better prepared or one of many other variable that allowed them to win that time. And maybe if the same competition is repeated they'll lose. Or if you gave the same training to one of their competitors they would lose. Who knows? Some times David wins and sometimes its Goliath. One should certainly be happy to win and celebrate. It feels good. But it doesn't make you more important than others or negate their ability to win. A win should always be kept in perspective and so often even though star athletes are the ones who get interviewed they often give credit to their team, coaches, parents, etc. Humility is just spreading out that credit to other people who deserve some of it too whether they claim to or not. But it is this thinking about others that helps to remove all of the focus from one's self and presents a more balanced internal perspective. And in doing so you are not or no longer pompous, but within the normal healthy range of self-esteem. And yes I consider esteem that is too high or low to be unhealthy.
Replied by ZealotX on topic How should we act when awarded?
Kyrin Wyldstar wrote:
ZealotX wrote: If you are pompous (which doesn't seem so) then you have to accept it before you can change it.
It does not necessarily follow that accepting it leads to changing it. If you have no contrition for pompous action then accepting it becomes an act of integration, not of rejection or modification. Everything in our lives can be used positively or negatively. being pompous is no different. When harnessed and used wisely it can be very powerful. It is a natural way to build confidence. one performs at a higher standard because we believe they can. It cuts those unwanted people from your circle as well. The ability to ignore the distressing acts of others is valuable in your own personal accomplishment. You will be the one to take a stand when others are afraid. It allows you to be outside your comfort zone. You will be the one making decisions for yourself instead of allowing others to. Harnessed in these ways it can be a positive influence in your life.
I respectfully disagree.
Being pompous is an extreme of self-esteem. Self-esteem isn't binary. So let's say pompous is hot water and completely selfless humility is cold water.
The balance, which you get from integration, is then not pompous but "good self-esteem" where the potential for extremes are neutralizing. I think I'm great. BUT... I also think you are too. I do. And so, in the balance, I just think I'm good. See? It's relative. You can be great, but when you consider other people's greatness then it takes more for one person to be "exceptional" and they may be exceptional in one area where someone else has the "Gold" in another area. Everyone cannot be rich. For one to be rich someone else has to be poor. Therefore, if I want everyone to be rich then no one is rich.
But when it comes to certain competitions like sports, sometimes it shows that one person is "naturally more talented" than another... or... one person works harder than another... or one person may have had a better day or was better prepared or one of many other variable that allowed them to win that time. And maybe if the same competition is repeated they'll lose. Or if you gave the same training to one of their competitors they would lose. Who knows? Some times David wins and sometimes its Goliath. One should certainly be happy to win and celebrate. It feels good. But it doesn't make you more important than others or negate their ability to win. A win should always be kept in perspective and so often even though star athletes are the ones who get interviewed they often give credit to their team, coaches, parents, etc. Humility is just spreading out that credit to other people who deserve some of it too whether they claim to or not. But it is this thinking about others that helps to remove all of the focus from one's self and presents a more balanced internal perspective. And in doing so you are not or no longer pompous, but within the normal healthy range of self-esteem. And yes I consider esteem that is too high or low to be unhealthy.
Last edit: 20 May 2019 17:01 by ZealotX.
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20 May 2019 18:46 #338626
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Replied by on topic How should we act when awarded?
My philosophy is on in which I think its healthy to operate in extremes. We are who we are and to try and deny our natures is just as unhealthy as operating in an unnatural extreme place. Because of this if we learn to embrace our extremes and incorporate them into our lives in a productive manner we become better and more complete persons!
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21 May 2019 08:38 #338644
by Adder
Replied by Adder on topic How should we act when awarded?
Second; strategic, hungry............ but be centered with yourself in balance to relax and reconnect to self, don't want to neglect injuries etc. Noting that while the competition is over, keep playing fair. Remember to debrief yourself, lessons to be learned and look out for the welfare of your self and other competitors post comp. If you appear beaten by not winning, then next time they'll think your seeing an uphill battle. Make em think you've just learned their weakness and next time they are toast, without overtly expressing as much

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30 May 2019 16:38 - 30 May 2019 16:38 #339076
by Streen
The truth is always greater than the words we use to describe it.
Replied by Streen on topic How should we act when awarded?
Let go of your conscious self and act humbly.
The truth is always greater than the words we use to describe it.
Last edit: 30 May 2019 16:38 by Streen.
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30 May 2019 19:26 #339084
by JamesSand
Replied by JamesSand on topic How should we act when awarded?
Depends on the circumstances.
An award given in private is a genuine thing, an acknowledgment and thanks for your efforts or success, these should probably be received gratefully and humbly.
An award given in public might have nothing to do with you - it may be an award that *someone* had to win, and it's more about making a mob think that there are awards to be had.
These can be received in whatever fashion is suitable for that particular audience - as you a probably a member of that "mob", I suppose you have to judge what the appropriate attitude is at the time.
An award given in private is a genuine thing, an acknowledgment and thanks for your efforts or success, these should probably be received gratefully and humbly.
An award given in public might have nothing to do with you - it may be an award that *someone* had to win, and it's more about making a mob think that there are awards to be had.
These can be received in whatever fashion is suitable for that particular audience - as you a probably a member of that "mob", I suppose you have to judge what the appropriate attitude is at the time.
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