Is it my fault? Should I NOT expect more/better from people? Is expecting more wrong? Isn't just letting the status quo continue unchallenged wrong?
Quick breathing exercises helps calm me down during these time but I wonder if anyone else feels similar. If so what do you do? Mind your own or continue to effect change?
In the situation that you presented, is there anything that you can do to change their behaviors? Additionally there are different standards and interpretations of morality. It's also wise to look at how we interpret other's behaviors and to what base we're using as a comparison.
It's sort of like parenting. I can have some expectations for my children to behave a certain way and make the choice to get frustrated when they don't meet that expectation. Some behaviors to be corrected and it requires me to be in a good position to know when to intervene. But sometimes it's also helpful to be patient an attempt to understand their position as well. We deal with people who may not be saying the same side of the elephant as we are, but that doesn't make them wrong nor does that necessarily make us right.
But I think the strategy you're taking with the breathing exercises are helpful. Use that time to determine whether or not it's beneficial, or that's even possible to intervene. And also, use that time to reflect on why you are feeling those strong negative reactions. Why is this specific behavior especially bothersome to you as an individual? It's a great determinant on establishing your moral positioning.
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Consciously, purposely doing the wrong thing is very rare about here. Most commonly I come across this in shoplifting - but it's born out of either a sense of entitlement OR genuine poverty here. Both require understanding.
I think Thomas is right - it's good to consider the costs to yourself of confronting an issue before you do. But I would say confronting with understanding works better for me than trying to get others to understand my frustrations with them.
Arisaig, we are only human and while some view Jediism as form of escapism, there is a difference between controlling ones emotions, how we respond to them and nothing having any emotions, cutting them off. I guess my issue is mostly repeated frustration and how I don't want to let it become acceptance of short comings. Showing someone how to turn a monitor on should only have to be once or twice, but when it becomes a weekly occurrence twice a week... you can see my frustration.
Twigga, I almost envy the time the mental translation you have to go through. Although I can see that having to translate cultural idioms could be frustrating in its own right. "Beating a dead horse" can mean next to nothing to someone that doesn't know what it means.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts on this so far. I look forward to continuing conversation with you all.
I wanted to add a bit here about the circle of influence. We only can control our own behaviors our own thoughts and our own feelings. But we can have influence on a select group. Conversely this select group can have an influence on us. So when we talk about feelings of frustration and how we can move past that, we have to look at where we want to put our energy. If we speak will they listen? And if they speak will we?
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Now - what happens when we find these gems and gold nuggets ? This is where choice takes another turn for the individual. Does your findings, your faith , your truths - does what you find make you a jerk? Cynical? A joy ? Charitable? What are you choosing to do with what you find.
I’ve met many people who find the same peace and joy but display it all too difrently. Frustration comes and goes and as a feeling - it can overtake - be used - identified - even ignored like fear or redefined for a diffrent use. I encourage you to remind yourself of your focus (return) quite often. As a minister here and in my real life it can get frustrating at times with questions like “ why don’t you see tee freedoms your mission” why can’t you do it like this or like that but I remind myself - every one is at diffrent levels in life and in their paths as well as we all learn things in a different ways. Rather than let the worry or the frustration take my focus- I remind my self why I’m here and why I seek and serve and share the Force I do.
I’ve personally made myself a mission statement in life - why do I do it - what I do- we encourage the ministers here as well toniae such a thing like a tool during serving the Temple. Codes and doctorine often do this for us as well as our teachings in everyday life but take some time to pick yours and share with us if you like . Defining them for yourself and your favriots Can and may help when frustration comes to call. Hope this helps a bit -J.
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Jedi_Anidem wrote: Arisaig, we are only human and while some view Jediism as form of escapism, there is a difference between controlling ones emotions, how we respond to them and nothing having any emotions, cutting them off. I guess my issue is mostly repeated frustration and how I don't want to let it become acceptance of short comings. Showing someone how to turn a monitor on should only have to be once or twice, but when it becomes a weekly occurrence twice a week... you can see my frustration.
Hehe, that kinda struggle, eh? Seems that kinda frustration is best counteracted with more patience and understanding, and perhaps making a memo for them so they know how to do it without asking. I know it's not ideal, some people take forever, if not never, to learn some things.
Sending prayers for your patience. It ain't easy, but being a Jedi rarely is.
As Rosalyn says, we can only influence so much around us. If we allow ourselves to become frustrated with all of the wrong action or inaction we see around us every day, we would quickly succumb to sadness and despair. Instead, ask yourself if the issue you are frustrated with can be solved, and how you can help solve it. Then take action to make it happen. If it is outside of your ability to effect change, it is best to let it go and focus on something you can change.
I know this sounds easier than it really is, but don't give up. Patience is key. We will be tested over and over, but as time passes you'll find it becomes easier and easier to set frustrations aside and be an example for others to follow.
Senan wrote: The Dalai Lama has a great quote concerning this. "“If it can be solved, there’s no need to worry, and if it can’t be solved, worry is of no use.” It is good general advice for life, but in this instance it is helpful if you replace the word "worry" with "be frustrated".
This reminds of my favorite line from the hidden philosophical gem Van Wilder, starring Ryan Reynolds, who in it said "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
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