forgiveness

What is everyone's thoughts on forgiveness? I have made some pretty bad decisions in my life. I have learned from my mistakes though and would like to move on. I was once told that the only way a man becomes wise is by making mistakes and by learning from them. I personally am not a christian. I respect other people's beliefs but that just isn't for me. I do believe in God though. I just get really down on myself about things from the past. I think that it's harder for me to get over my past than it is for others to. I don't know.... Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.


May The Force Be With You
~Dan

thedannykay wrote: What is everyone's thoughts on forgiveness? I have made some pretty bad decisions in my life. I have learned from my mistakes though and would like to move on. I was once told that the only way a man becomes wise is by making mistakes and by learning from them. I personally am not a christian. I respect other people's beliefs but that just isn't for me. I do believe in God though. I just get really down on myself about things from the past. I think that it's harder for me to get over my past than it is for others to. I don't know.... Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Learning from your mistakes is an obvious necessity in life. But that doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up about the past. We could go into a lengthy philosophical discussion of how important it is to live in the present. But to make it short - consider this: there's nothing you can do to change your past. There's no point in wasting your energy obsessing and regretting. Just as there's no point in worrying about potential future scenarios that usually never materialise the way we imagine (and fear) them. This has nothing to do with God or the Force etc - it's a fact that reality is in the now. All we have is this moment.

Of course, continuity is necessary for us to form a more or less coherent image of our surrounding and our perceived progress through life. Past events will have physical, tangible effects on the now - but what goes for mental states also goes for the physical world: we can't change the past.

If we throw a stone in the neighbour's window, the window will shatter. Now it's shattered. We can't make it undone. Once the window is shattered, do you still care about how you threw that stone? Probably not - you'll care about how you have to go to your neighbour and tell them you'll pay for the damage. What you care about is the moment. And if you think about it: the same goes for your mind. What happened in the past is a collection of (mostly incomplete, as we forget details pretty much immediately and than substitute with our imagination) memories, diffuse fears and regrets. It's truly not necessary to perpetuate these.

Forgiving yourself is an important first step to stop keeping your past present. As is forgiving others. This isn't about talking yourself into believing that what happened to you or what you've done to others in the past was "ok". It's about agreeing that what happened is unchangeable and thus not worth obsessing over any further.

IMO it is important to be able to learn from your past and forgive yourself, but this to me means accepting responsibility for what you have done, realising that others may never forgive you and you have to allow them to do that, and fully facing the consequences of your actions which sometimes even lead into the present.
I believe the only way we move on is showing that we have learnt from past mistakes, and this takes time and having to face others, honestly apologise and then move past. Not forgetting those lessons but using them to build on.
Looking into ourselves and working to find peace with our past actions is sometimes all we can do.

You may have heard this already as it has become a bit cliche, but carrying around guilt or anger or shame is like carrying a hot coal in your hand. It will continue to burn you until you learn to set it down.

This doesn't necessarily mean you have to be rid of the guilt or anger or resentment, but it does mean that you need to find a place to put it where it won't burn you any longer. This is where forgiveness comes in. When we learn to forgive ourselves and others, we are putting away that hot coal. We may still carry it, but we find a safer, healthier way to do it. At least it is no longer hurting us, and we can move forward. Eventually, we may be able to toss that hot coal into the ocean and be done with it. The scars will always be there as a reminder of past mistakes, but the wound will heal with time. In any case, it all starts with learning to forgive ourselves and those who have done wrong to us.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

Everybody has said this in much more eloquent ways (plus i feel humorous today) so, here's how I am gonna put it. Things in the past haunt us sometimes, I'm not proud of some of the things and the roads I walked previously but man, you just got let it slide you know what I'm saying.

"Alright, Alright, Alright" -Matthew McConaughey
"I was forgiving myself before I paid me to forgive myself; I just like the way it feels......"Matthew McConaughey"

I my self have been able to re define a lot of my common words and phrases . I think and I shared thiamine that it is the wise person who can re define their own vocabulary. That in mind ...
Forgiveness
My forgiveness
My examples of forgiveness
What I give
I have definitions for all of these and more.
When where why all of that has been thought and set by yours truly. It can be set by you yourself. When I began my actual grey study and seeking I began to find difrent ... Examples ... I wanted and did not want . It's up to us to find out ... Sights our Gods our myths our own set of ways .
My forgiveness finds where it's needed. I don't give every one my forgiveness . Most time if I'm in the right mentality I don't need to forgive others. ( as blame and anger it's usually my ego or my pride that muddeled things ) my personal goal is to give then, at the point I remember them and insert them... the "peramiters" change. All because my definition and execution are different . . . My choice.
Forgiveness is a is thing. It's very personal cuz let's face it , the hurts personal. I have a idea where it can come when it can be planted and when it can free and break. I've planned my self conversations to let so and so have it but... At a premeditated and noticed moment(comes from my study and actual meditation) instead I make a difrent choice and watch forgiveness build somthimg never seen ... Good luck creating new responses and making new people cuz really to me I've found real forgiveness , that's one of the things it does . Creates a new . May the Force you seek find you where you seek it friend. Pm me for any questions or for more actual examples n such . Happy seeking !