Facing the threat of a profound loss is very difficult (he said obviously). I just lost my grandfather last week, who has meant more to me than anyone else besides my wife, and I am having a very difficult time grieving. I rarely got to see him since I moved almost a thousand miles away about ten years ago. I'm finding comfort in these things: knowing that we each know how we feel about each other; good memories; being there for my family, and my family being there for me; knowing that I have support like TotJO; being rooted in my faith in life.
As a paramedic of many years I've had to help families through dying and grieving. The things that I have seen help people most are these: being rooted in their faith of choice; coming to terms with their relationship with their deceased loved one (whether a good, bad, open, estranged, ect.); feeling like they can contribute something to their family, and feeling like their family supports them; feeling like they can contribute to the memory of their loved one; finding meaning in the death ("it was a release for her", "I can help others learn from this", "she thoroughly enjoyed life" (as in the closing of a book of her life), etc.).
My wife was widowed five years ago (no, I'm not dead (though that might be really interesting), we got married two years after). Her perspective through healing has seemed to be: things happen; I love; he (the deceased) loves; my family loves, and I love my family; time helps; no words ever help, but it can help to simply know that someone is present. (btw The whole "he's in a better place" or "God needed him" or "this is all part of God's plan," no matter how strong one's faith is, often feels like a dagger in the side.)
What I've learned is this: there are stages of grief (https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/), there is no particular order for these, not everyone experiences them; everyone grieves in their own way and it's ok to be content with yours; cry; love.
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