[Request] How to deal with "hate"

Hate is a meta-emotion ; that is, it isn't something that occurs like one of the primary ones. Whereas Love (another meta-emotion) is what is felt from repeated moments of Joy connected to someone/something, Hate is a composite of repeated instances - whether real or imagined - of fear, anger, disgust and/or sadness. As such, the propensity toward hatred is innate in all conscious beings. In human beings, it takes on especially sinister dimensions due to our ability to reason and imagine, thus augmenting and amplifying our (possibly distorted) perspective on the causes of our distress.

When someone hates it is not that they "have their reasons", but merely that 'Reason' is involved -- though it may not be very good 'Reason-ing'. Hatred implies that person is suffering. Repeated "fear", repeated reinforcement of feelings of "disgust" and, as I've explained before, "anger" is a 'reasoned fear' (an identifying cause for the fear identified). Under such psycho-physical assault by the negative emotional spectrum, hatred comes about all the much more easily than Love does - this latter based upon only one primary emotion, that of Joy.

Furthermore, albeit hatred indicates suffering, it is indeed grave suffering. Yet, often we say "hate" when it is not quite that yet. Intense "anger", for instance, whereby one is roused to fury and inclined to malicious intent may be labelled "hate" when it is merely extreme "anger". Intense "disgust" also, which is one of the most disturbing aspects of the illusion of separateness between people. Naturally, "fear" to many degrees comes under the etiquette of hatred.

Full-fledged hatred is neither violent nor malicious ... It is cold. It is much more similar to total indifference than to rage. It is perhaps a passion, but it is an anti-passion.

As it were, when confronted by someone in a state of "hate", it is best to be understanding. Like Snowy suggested by re-posting the School of Life video. Realising that the person who hates is her/himself under the onslaught of their negative primary emotions, most probably with multiple causes, s/he is caught up in an overwhelming existential maelstrom.

When it is oneself who feels that hatred is arising, the best way to calm it is to identify the primary negative emotions giving rise to it. Self-inventory is of the essence ... Take what measures are necessary to sooth the fear, anger, disgust or sadness that are being repeatedly reinforced.

Jestor wrote: And, how DOES one deal with "hate"?

Both in 'receiving it from others" and "feeling it toward others"?

Thank you in advance for your replies...

"Hate" in itself has a whole dictionary worth of difference. There is no one way or one level of "Hate" and is all situational. That being said Hate isn't an easy emotion I come face to face with. Mostly because it is easy for me to become indifferent towards situations and simply....shrug them off. So I do not often "Hate"

But when i do. It is general because of something really big. Something I could not be indifferent too and had to simply admit that there was no other emotion to it, and even then, those emotions fade off into simple disappointment.

My first step in dealing with hate either in giving or receiving, is by distancing myself from that source. Clean out my contacts, and remove it from my life. Either for a short period or long period of time. I do this because of two things.

A: I am not naturally aggressive. You could say i am a total fluttershy when it comes to intense emotions and situations like this. I do not have it in me to "Be the Bigger Man" I would rather just walk away and clean my hands of the situation than confront it.

B: At the end of the day the only thing that is important to me is myself, my family, and my close friends. If I hate or someone hates me....it does my family and close friends no good to have that warring in the background and causing even more heartache because it goes on too far. Id rather count my losses, learn from my regrets and try and be better next time.

Hate in my life tends to come from a combination of external and internal factors as well as certain emotions. Mostly it's a combination of anger and helplessness and / or fear. Breaking the combination will often result in hate to disappear. Anger can be stopped through pure will power. Becoming angry is a natural reaction, staying angry is a choice. That alone usually gets rid of feelings of hate or prevents them from arising in the first place. Helplessness and fear are harder to overcome as they're often determined by external factors / others / situations you're in. My creed here is: confront what you can change / is worth to be changed, accept the rest (which doesn't mean you have to like it, though).

M. Orion has already pointed out exactly how I see and deal with hatred.

I either realize the feeling, or I say it out loud to myself. I let myself feel it until it gets in the way of getting anything done. Then I search my mind for what is behind it, so that I can understand where it is coming from.

For me, it typically comes from either prolonged sadness, anger, or repeated stress about things that I feel are out of my control. More often, when I feel this heightened state of emotions, I have trouble touching food because I feel sick to my stomach.

If you're into astrology (I'm not), I'm an Aries, if that explains anything about how I deal with stress or confrontation.

Hate consumes, compassion expands. Your choice.

Rickie wrote: Hate consumes, compassion expands. Your choice.

Thank you Rickie , very well said , thats how i feel it aswell people will always try to make their problem your problem , with this clear statement of yours , you wipe them away , because with compassion we truly can learn ..