How many Hopes exist? One idea: Real and False Hope. No Hope and Lost Hope.

False Hope
There is controversy over the concept of “false hope”. If you hold out hope for something that is truly impossible, or so unlikely it is eventually impossible, you may be having false hope. Is this good or bad? To make the distinction, determine if your behavior is beneficial or not. As an example, deciding to spend your food money to play the lottery in the hope you will win is almost certainly destructive and regrettable. The chances of winning the lottery are vanishingly small, and the need for food is certain. Here a “false hope” leads to a destructive behavior and is harmful. Another example is the decision of a high school student to abandon academic studies to concentrate on playing professional sports or becoming a rock musician. The odds against success are astronomical, yet the loss is certain. This is almost certainly a bad bet. However, if you have been diagnosed with terminal cancer, hope can give you peace of mind, relieve stress, and provide you the positive outlook and motivation that can lead to helpful actions including eating well, getting the recommended exercise, taking medications as instructed, seeking out the best care for yourself, peace of mind, and spending time in meaningful ways.

Most “con games” are based on creating false hopes. This includes most forms of gambling, sweepstakes, get rich quick schemes, risky investments, quack cures, promised miracles, hoaxes, urban legends, mysticism, faith exploitations, and other scams. Many of these are manipulations that exploit distortions in our thinking or other vulnerabilities. Examine the evidence, consider a variety of viewpoints, calculate the odds rationally, and approach such claims with extreme skepticism.

Maintain hope when there is some possibility of a good outcome. Take constructive and responsible action to improve your chances. Do not abdicate your responsibility for caution, skepticism, and action by submitting to unfounded optimism. Hope is helpful when it results in positive action, it is unhelpful if it inhibits action. Plan for the worst as you anticipate the best.

Hope is tested when what if meets what is. Accurate assessment, sound judgment, constructive action, and personal responsibility mark the difference between real hope and false hope.

The Keynote Address at the 2004 democratic national convention was an inspiring speech given by Barack Obama on “The Audacity of Hope” He described many examples where the undaunted strength of people overcame tremendous obstacles to achieve great things. Perhaps there is no false hope, but only hope. He has recently written book The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream.

In any case, strive for an accurate optimism.

The Stockdale Paradox
Admiral James StockdaleExternal Link was the highest ranking US military officer in the Hoa Loa prisoner-of-war camp during the Vietnam war. He was brutally tortured more than twenty times over the eight years he was imprisoned from 1965 to 1973. During that time he dedicated himself to helping the other soldiers survive the ordeal. Jim Collins, author of the book Good to Great, asked Stockdale how he endured, and who in the camp failed to endure. In answering he said: “This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you cannot afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever that may be.”

Jim Collins summarizes this wisdom as the “Stockdale Paradox”:

"Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties
and at the same time
Confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be."

Hope and reality combine for a real hope.

Real Hope
Real hope combines a hopeful outlook with a firm grip on reality. This is the substance of commitment.

Each of us approaches a new problem, task, challenge, or opportunity with a particular outlook. This outlook can range from a very positive, hopeful spirit to a very negative, or hopeless stance. Many English language words describe this initial outlook. These words range from hopeful, high hopes, optimistic, open, positive, and favorable to skeptical, pessimistic, doubtful, and hopeless. This outlook is plotted on the vertical axis in the following diagram, ranging from hopeless at the bottom to hopeful at the top.

http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/images/realhope.gif

As we get more involved in meeting the challenge we learn more about the real problems facing us. Our grasp on reality begins to change. As more and more information becomes available, we become better informed and create a more accurate understanding and assessment of the situation. Our viewpoint evolves as we assimilate new information. Alternatively, we may choose to remain uninformed and ignorant, or deny, dismiss, or distort important information. This grasp of reality is plotted on the horizontal axis in the following diagram. It ranges from uninformed or distorted to informed and accurate.

Real Hope

The grid is divided into these four zones:

No Hope—Helpless—Give up now, don't even try, I already know there is nothing I can do to help. Why bother? I won't even waste my time trying; it is futile. This is the region of learned helplessness and the defeatist attitude. The outlook is doubtful and reality is unknown, distorted, denied, or dismissed. Cynics, naysayers, and other gloomy and disheartened people lurk here.

False Hope—Wishful—I have an unshakable faith that all will turn out well. I don't need to know anything more to know it will all turn out fine in the end. This is the heaven's reward fallacy based only on wishful thinking. The outlook is hopeful, but the reality is unknown, distorted, denied, or dismissed. This is often a dangerous position of inaction or ineffective action and little information. It believes hope is a strategy. Visionary dreamers along with Pollyanna's and the crackpots of la-la land are all here.

Lost Hope—Surrendered—The more I learn, the more hopeless this becomes. I cannot overcome the obstacles; further effort is futile. I am discouraged and choose not to go on. I'll save myself for another day. Life is too short to push on a rope. I'll admit defeat and move on to the next challenge, sadder but wiser. The outlook is doubtful, but the reality is accurate. Quitters share this space along with shrewd gamblers, entrepreneurs, and others who decided to retreat now so they can contribute another day.

Real Hope—Committed—I fully understand the difficulties I face and I know I can prevail in the end. I am encouraged and will never give up, despite the difficult challenges that lie ahead. The outlook is hopeful and the reality is accurate. The aspirations of what if meld with the harsh reality of what is to create an enduring result. Tenacious, courageous, persistent, and inspiring people are achieving results here.

We are encouraged when our outlook improves as we learn more about the situation. We are discouraged when our outlook becomes less hopeful as we learn more about the situation. We have dashed hopes when events take us from real hope to lost hope.