Problem with lust.

if his problem is that it is difficult to stay abstinent then id tell him to count his blessings and i would assure him that his current difficulty is one he may miss when he gets older

id also ask why he WANTS to stay abstinent?

i understand he "was raised that way" but what SPECIFICALLY is he gaining or protecting by not having sex?

what does he lose or risk if he does have sex?

he should articulate his motives and his fears

you said he is one of the few in the family who is not Christian

well, being NOT-whatever-the family-religion-is, means that you have to re-evaluate all the things that your family told you which originated with the religion

So what exactly is this "problem" anyway? Successful religions often tell us that we are sick and broken for things we cannot help so that it can step in and offer salvation. There is nothing inherently evil about lust. Christianity doesn't justify it being evil either. In so far as some denominations would preach so, they just tell us so in an effort to make us feel guilty (because most of us are rather sexual beings to some extent or another, so this is one safe thing to exploit) so that we kneel before it and beg for forgiveness for what is not even established to be a transgression in the first place. They sell us a disease in order to sell us a cure.
All people I ever met who perceived a problem with their sexuality were people indoctrinated into being sickened by their nature. In some I guess it takes on pathological proportions. I wonder how much of it would still be there if religions of this sort took a break for a generation's time...

I dont think lust is a problem , although it got me into trouble a few times , but its about moderation indeed , if you get obsessed with lust and it is all you can strive for i think it holds you back from learning , but as i said , i dont think lust is a problem unless it becomes a problem , like to much drinking and smoking and drug- abuse

It is a topic which I think ultimately is a matter of perception and that discussing it can only bring you to different views of it, none of which are any more or less accurate.

I guess I'm trying to say that there's no real use in talking about the moral qualities of lust, at least in my opinion.

discussing it can only bring you to different views of it

That's exactly what I wanted. By being exposed to the different views, I can gain understanding from multiple perspectives. Hopefully that will help me see a larger picture, so I can better understand where my brother is coming from.

So what exactly is this "problem" anyway? Successful religions often tell us that we are sick and broken for things we cannot help so that it can step in and offer salvation.

I think his problem centers around the fact that he is accepting the narrative that he is sick and broken, but refusing their "cure".

well, being NOT-whatever-the family-religion-is, means that you have to re-evaluate all the things that your family told you which originated with the religion

I agree. He is kind of stuck in that re-evaluation phase. knowing he doesn't believe something, but not sure what he believes.

If testosterone is a factor in driving libido (makes people more frisky), then consider men might have about 10 times the amount as women! Not double, not triple, but ten times

Actually I'm doing pre-med right now, and I'm transgender. I'm very familiar with hormone levels as I have them checked often. Men have on average 15.76 times as much testosterone as women do.

“Being a virgin is a wonderful and precious thing to hold on to. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your having sex.” ~ Jerri Blank (Strangers With Candy)

ren wrote: Lust is a natural function no less essential to life than the need to feed. Beware of that sweet tooth though.

Exactly. Sex is a bodily function. Lust is the urge to have sex. You could compare it to eating. Is it wrong to be hungry? Or being tired... is it wrong to be tired? Is sleeping a sin?