I have quite the problem, and it's sickening

Hello, new member here, so obviously who ever is reading this doesn't know me, but anyways. I really don't know where else I can talk about this. I've only been here two days, but i feel comfortable enough to speak about this.
So, lately, I've been noticing an issue that I see heavily affects my life. And i don't know what to do at this point.
I feel as if, I am incapable of functioning normally with those I begin to love.

It always starts off normal, me expressing my feelings towards them. And going on like normal, friends, being a "thing", whatever.
But then, almost without failure. Things change, I start pulling away from those i become attracted to. I start finding less ways to actually interact and communicate with them, and eventually the feelings I used to have pretty much just turn into a black hole.
And it's sickening. I want to have a relationship with someone, but then to almost no avail I end up pulling away from them.
Is there any way to stop this? Will living by the jedi way free me of this issue as well as the others I'm experiencing in this period of my life?
Does anyone else have this kind of issue?

I'm glad that you feel enough trust to share your trouble with us here. That takes courage, and wisdom to realize you require help.

As for the question itself all I can say is this: to be able to deal with the issue you need to understand first what the issue is, where it comes from. Living the jedi way entails knowledge of yourself, so yes, it will help, provide some guidance. But ultimately you will have to face it (whatever "shadow" of your unconscious underlies the issue) by yourself.

That said, count on this Temple as a place of openness and sharing, and on the people here as your friends if you need to talk.

Every path here is represented with a mere show of presence. You are here. If I knew nothing else about you You are Here. That's more than enough for me!
Every path is different. Yet they all seem to start with us and questions. Start your findings. Seek and you WILL find.

One day I sat and figured out where I had learned to love. Movies and what I saw with my own mom and family. I identified what was what and it scared me.i didn't blame any one just identified. I had no idea what a good relationship or a good version of love was. It triggered a frantic search. I learned different tribal ceremonies and legends. The more I opened my mind to the more I learned. Some Tribes still tie the hands of the mates with a cord hide and vine to symbol they are entering as a part of a whole. Others tie a physical knot and drape it over the door of their home as a tangible thing. Some people leave the village and come back when a house is built ready for living, furniture and all.
The point is I learned other ways, more ways, as I learn the more I adopt, the more I make mine. I quite literally tough my self to love the way I thought I should and give what I thought I should give. It is possible to do it with all aspects of your life but it will take work. I hope this helps.

Neo F. wrote: Hello, new member here, so obviously who ever is reading this doesn't know me, but anyways. I really don't know where else I can talk about this. I've only been here two days, but i feel comfortable enough to speak about this.
So, lately, I've been noticing an issue that I see heavily affects my life. And i don't know what to do at this point.
I feel as if, I am incapable of functioning normally with those I begin to love.

It always starts off normal, me expressing my feelings towards them. And going on like normal, friends, being a "thing", whatever.
But then, almost without failure. Things change, I start pulling away from those i become attracted to. I start finding less ways to actually interact and communicate with them, and eventually the feelings I used to have pretty much just turn into a black hole.
And it's sickening. I want to have a relationship with someone, but then to almost no avail I end up pulling away from them.
Is there any way to stop this? Will living by the jedi way free me of this issue as well as the others I'm experiencing in this period of my life?
Does anyone else have this kind of issue?

Hello Neo, I can find myself in disconnecting with people. I bet that multiple Jedi already get the impression that I do not have friends, do not ever had a girlfriend, and that I spend my time almost exclusively on my own, including alone from first degree family for most of the time. All true, please let allow me to share a bit.
I tend to expand my social circle when I need interaction, resulting in not having a very large group of people around me. Just like you I tend to pull away, I tend to pull away anything and everything when I do have enough interaction for some reason.

There is no solid formula to drastically change yourself, many people tend to change slowly. Jedi way for me does not help me directly with that, but indirectly it makes difference for me. It is not possible to force yourself in the long run, what holds you back? Finding comfortable ways tend to work better than forced ways. Ask yourself what you find comfortable, try to seek out people that you find easy to talk with. Talking with comfortable people is for me a solid choice to talk about personal problems. :blush:
In case this might not help, every person is different. I hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Force guide you,

~ Aqua

Hey, thanks for sharing. It's hard to be so open about personal things. That was a good step right there. I can't know your exact situation but I do know a bit about what it sounds like. For a long time I had very few friends and the thought of interactions, small talk, and sharing my feelings made me exhausted. I much preferred to do things alone and talk in forums. Any relationships I had were short because I was too closed off. One night I was pretty drunk watching a movie and I started crying. My whole life I considered myself a background character and I couldn't understand why. Why would I be here if I wasn't meant to do something or to mean something. I decided I wasn't going to hide anymore. This is my story and I wasn't gonna mope any longer. I started off going to a couple gatherings but I still didn't talk much. I had to fake the confidence to talk to people, even then it was work. Eventually it got a little easier. I still bottle everything up but I have learned that if something is really important to discuss then I need to do it. No matter how uncomfortable it makes me, I have to. I'm now married with two kids. In the end it Was worth it. Fake it until you make it. If someone is bothered by your needs you don't need them.

Hello Neo, and welcome.

Often when we are drawn to something that would enrich our lives - like a loving relationship, a friendship, a mission or practical goal, for example - and at the same time find ourselves pulling away from the very thing we want, it is because we have conflict. We might have a hidden second desire that is in conflict with the first - say, a desire to accomplish something quite challenging where success would be hampered by the attention required by an intimate relationship that we also want. Or, we might have a hidden fear that pulls us from our goal; perhaps the buried memory of a past heartbreak pushes away an emerging love relationship, or we harbor so strong a desire to avoid failure that we are compelled to not follow through with our attempts to succeed at something.

If any of this resonates with your situation, you're probably facing the need for a deep, inner quest to find the source of that voice within your psyche that seems to push you away from what you want. Depending upon your finances, you could turn to a life coach or a therapist, recognizing that the time you may need to spend with such a person could be a little or a lot. If that's impractical or just not something you'd prefer to do, you can strike out on your own. I'd suggest spending some time around the self-help section of a large, brick-and-mortar bookstore and look for titles of books that seem to apply to your situation; books whose chapters suggest questions for you to reflect upon will be particularly helpful.

I'd also suggest reading Carl Jung's "Memories, Dreams, Reflections". Carl Jung was one of the progenitors of psychotherapy, though he diverged from Freud's assumption that sex was at the bottom of everything; Jung felt that self-healing and self-discovery is a spiritual quest, and that by delving deep into our flaws and fears, we heal and mature in remarkable ways. "Memories, Dreams, Reflections" is not a how-to book, but an autobiographical record of Jung's own inner journey; it will probably inspire some ideas of how you may conduct such a journey of your own. It'll probably also help you be comfortable that the perplexing mode of behavior you find yourself embodying is a very human thing, and not so very uncommon at all.

I hope this is some help --

Todd

Neo F. wrote: Hello, new member here, so obviously who ever is reading this doesn't know me, but anyways. I really don't know where else I can talk about this. I've only been here two days, but i feel comfortable enough to speak about this.
So, lately, I've been noticing an issue that I see heavily affects my life. And i don't know what to do at this point.
I feel as if, I am incapable of functioning normally with those I begin to love.

It always starts off normal, me expressing my feelings towards them. And going on like normal, friends, being a "thing", whatever.
But then, almost without failure. Things change, I start pulling away from those i become attracted to. I start finding less ways to actually interact and communicate with them, and eventually the feelings I used to have pretty much just turn into a black hole.
And it's sickening. I want to have a relationship with someone, but then to almost no avail I end up pulling away from them.
Is there any way to stop this? Will living by the jedi way free me of this issue as well as the others I'm experiencing in this period of my life?
Does anyone else have this kind of issue?

I do the same , simple reason being the many mistakes i made, so i wait , pull away and go silent , this being an indication i think that it is not the right person or i am just not ready even if i am middle aged. Like most people i serouisly ask myself if i really need someone else with me to be happy and the answer is ...NO ... i am very good company for myself and my friends , but in love bussiness i really suck. Big Time, so . What to do? I will get to the bottom of my problem and try to accept is as i accepted that i maybee will be alone for the rest of my life. And maybee i get some answers and find the right one.

Anyway, there are no guarantees you will find your other half. Be as whole as you can be yourself , you owe that to yourself , you are not your broken heart , you are not your broken relationships