The Anger Mask

One of my favorite things to think about, and one of the things that led me to explore Jediism, is how I can promote peace. It's a simple thought, right? What can I do to make the world a more peaceful place? The thought is simple from a certain perspective, but I'm sure I don't have to tell anyone that the action is much more complex and requires a deeper understanding than, "I'll be nice to people."

I'm sure that each of us on this site could come up with dozens of unique facets to the simple idea of promoting peace. I'm also reasonably certain that we could discuss and debate each and every facet of the larger idea of promoting peace and why it can be difficult for years and it wouldn't be wasted time. That being said, I'd like to keep this discussion (if it becomes a discussion) focused on one part specifically: anger.

Chaos, yet serenity. As Jedi we aspire to be able to remain serene even in the midst of real chaos and a large part of that is controlling our emotions. We are able to accomplish this by having an honest understanding of these emotions. Some would say that the most difficult one to control is anger, but I say that they find it so difficult because anger isn't actually the emotion they should be focusing on controlling. I would also assert that anger isn't even a real emotion, but a mask for someone's true emotion.

Imagine you're watching a movie. A great movie with great actors, great script, great directing, the whole nine yards. A scene starts where actor A has to confront actor B about keeping a dark family secret. Actor A starts his lines and he's angry. He's red faced, screaming, slamming things; he's pissed. Actor B stands there throughout the tirade looking guilt stricken. When actor A has finished his lines, actor B looks him in the eyes and he simply says, "I know I hurt you by keeping this from you. I'm sorry.” Actor A begins to cry and they hug and scene. That's when it becomes clear to you, the viewer, that actor A wasn't actually angry at all. He was hurt. He felt betrayed. He was grieving. Those emotions manifested in a huge bout of anger, but actor B was able to pacify that seemingly insurmountable anger by addressing the root cause: he had hurt him. He identified the REAL emotion behind the action, and in doing so, he paved the way for reconciliation.

Think about the last time you were angry. What made you angry? Why did it make you angry? Were you actually angry, or were you sad or scared or hurt? We as Jedi must cultivate a deeper understanding of emotions so that we can maintain our serenity. By accepting that there is always another emotion behind anger, we are better equipped to nullify anger within ourselves and in others and find the serenity in the chaos. When we are confronted with anger, whether it be our own or someone else's, we must remove that mask and look at the true emotion underneath. We do that by remaining empathetic. In an odd way, to control our emotions and keep them from ruling us, we must stay deeply in tune with the emotional spectrum.

So how does this help promote peace? Please excuse the oversimplification, but many of the conflicts and problems around the world are caused by people getting angry. If we can master pulling off the mask of our own anger, then we will be more effective at identifying the causes of anger in others and can more easily settle disputes because we are no longer fooled by this mask. When we come upon an argument, we will be able to quickly and accurately identify the true emotions at play and direct them in a more constructive manner to solve the problem. This line of thinking can be applied to much larger problems as well other than a simple argument and that allows us to be a force for real peace in the world.

I won't claim this to be absolute truth. Truth depends on your point of view. But I hope this particular point of view brings all of you a better understanding of your emotions and the emotions of others.

I take advise and structure from what i have learned and have done. I find with me to promote peace you must live peace. In my life (s) if i ask for a better understanding of love, i must look for the times i may use it. I must seek the times when love is needed the most. To use it, is to know its strengths and weaknesses. Now, with peace it is the same, although i do not suggest looking for fights to solve with ration. (good exercise though - but plan to get hit a few times lol) I am talking about finding places to give peace in my every day life. Where there seems to be chaos, help find peace. Friends, help them, be there for em. Family members, try to be the one they go to for guidance. A peace maker yes not a problem solver. Big difference. Be the one with the right answer. Meditate on it. If we all do this for our own circle... it will ripple so far...but it has to start with me. I. My life. This is where you will see the change , i promise! The peace will spread as it is its nature
PEACE BE TO ALL JEDI WHO READ THIS FROM ONE WHO STRIVES WITH YOU!
May the Force be a great Help to you...
Carlos

Considering anger is an emotion, consider the etymology of the word "emotion", which means "to agitate", "to move", or "to be disturbed". In this context, emotion tends to be a moving reaction we manifest toward the feelings we experience (pointing out that feelings and emotions are not the same thing).

So, we can think of the an analogy of water, being disturbed by vibration (from an outside source or from under the surface).

To experience peace would be analogous to letting the water settle and become calm and still, and therefore, the view into it, toward its floor, or into its reflection, becoming clear.

So how do we let the water settle?

We bring attention to the emotion, but not simply that. We should learn that we are not our emotions (just as we are not our thoughts). The more aware we become of this fact, the more unattached we become toward those emotions. We eventually find that we experience our feelings but we no longer exhibit the reaction as a result. This allows us to have a much clearer head (settled water remember?), and we are able to see much more clearly and immediately what the true cause of our feelings are, as well as how to address the issue that those feelings arise from.

So, how do we "promote peace" toward others in this way? This is what we do here at TOTJO... with our journals, with our apprenticeships, and in the general good will and example setting. What we are able to do is bring awareness to the knowledge that we are not our emotions, we are not our thoughts, and can inspire people around us to learn this, to become more aware of their own emotions and help them unattach from them. This takes a great deal of time and patience depending on how deeply conditioned a person (or people) is. But it cannot be directly "taught". One can help guide another toward their awareness, but it is only themselves who has the right access to that awareness.

"I am a Jedi, an instrument of peace"

"Instrument" seems to be such an apt term here because it depicts "inspiring" more than "instructing" (as if we have authority over something which there really is none). Have you ever known somebody who seemed so.... together... and relaxing that when you are around them you feel relaxed, at peace, and inspired? They never told you what you should do, or given you some "magic ingredient to charisma", etc... all they did was be themselves. It was their presence that spread peace. It was their example of how they hold themselves and how they communicate that makes one inspired to say "I really want to be able to be like that!"... so you observe them. You might even ask them questions about it, for which their answers are likely not even direct in nature. It's a dance... but its happening both on the inside and the outside... it tends to be a matter of learning about the nature of the dance by observing it (that's the best way to learn to dance aside from trying it yourself after all).

As for if anger is real or not, of course anger isn't real (it isn't a real thing, its simply an echo out of the feeling of being hurt). But even more importantly, anger is a reaction stemmed out of one having trouble dealing with their own feelings. I try to teach my daughter, that when a friend of her's lashes out at her when they are angry, that it doesn't mean that the anger is for her as much as it is for themselves. The more that I can help her understand and be aware of what that means, the more she will be free from taking it personally, and instead, respond in compassion toward them, to help them with the feelings that they are having trouble with. This is an important thing to help people understand under any mission to promote peace. Without that awareness, anger begets anger. With the awareness, anger is a fire that can be put out by compassion. We are taught to be compassionate, but what is important is to first learn WHY to be compassionate, and that is at the root of the whole affair.

Thank you Proteus. That expands greatly on my general point: promoting peace by understanding our own emotions and those of others. We are not our emotions. I like that. I've had a couple people ask me why I don't get "emotional" when things happen and the best way I've been able to explain it is that I am aware of the emotion, I feel it, process it, and then let it go. However, I like how you put it better. "We experience our feelings but we no longer exhibit the reaction as a result," is perhaps more accurate. It also ties in to that idea of remaining empathetic I was talking about. Experiencing the emotion is an important part of being able to relate to the people we try to help.

What we are able to do is bring awareness to the knowledge that we are not our emotions, we are not our thoughts, and can inspire people around us to learn this, to become more aware of their own emotions and help them unattach from them. This takes a great deal of time and patience depending on how deeply conditioned a person (or people) is.

This is fine for personal growth, internal perspective, and for dealing with people who are seeking peace, but it doesn't help dissuade those who are seeking conflict because of their emotions. Sometimes people get pissed and they just wanna hit somebody and no amount of inner light and knowledge is going to change that. Someone's peaceful presence isn't going to be enough to keep someone else from doing harm. That's where being a different kind of instrument comes in to play. As the instrument of peace, a Jedi can direct (not instruct) a person toward a more constructive outlet for their emotions. I meant that by identifying the true emotion behind anger, a Jedi takes the first step in solving a conflict and bringing about a peaceful resolution. You touched on some other aspects of that process like recognizing that often times anger stems from someone having trouble dealing with their own feelings as well as saying that, "One can help guide another toward their awareness, but it is only themselves who has the right access to that awareness." That's exactly what I was getting at when I gave the example of the actors. Actor B was able to guide actor A toward the path of reconciliation by identifying and acknowledging the true emotion.

Compassion is definitely the name of the game when it comes to peace, and WHY one should be compassionate is a good lesson to teach.
"True compassion is not just an emotional response, but a firm commitment founded in reason."-The 14th Dalai Lama
I believe that true compassion eventually manifests in a desire to actively help people overcome their problems. The key word there being "actively" meaning that writing journals and setting a good example isn't always enough. Those are ways to prepare for dealing with a real conflict. If simply having a peaceful presence and being yourself was sufficient, then I think the Dalai Lama has it all covered What would be your course of action when simply inspiring doesn't work?