Keeping Calm and Centered

Lately I've been finding myself getting upset to the point of rage over the tiniest annoyances. I have tried not to let it effect anyone else, but I know all it is doing is adding undue stress to my life. Is there anything that you all do to keep yourself calm throughout the day to help prevent the little things getting to you, rather than simply catching yourself already getting ready to punch a wall, go off on someone who may not deserve it, or some other silliness?

This can happen with me as well. When I catch it happening I try to stop myself mentally just like I would if I were in a work type environment where I was working with superiors. I catch it, take a mental step back and try to see the why behind getting mad. Usually, I'm able to see that I'm being really stupid. If I'm bit necessarily unfounded in being upset, but I know rage isn't the answer, I will attempt to approach it calmly. Try to envision a big ol stop sign when you feel the anger bubbling up.

I don't know your situation so all I can do is tell you what happens with me and maybe you can find something useful and I won't be completely off the mark

I have issues letting things build up. Once I fill my bowl with stresses/problems, the small little pebbles that roll out after are what I end up blowing up about. To prevent little things from upsetting me, I do my best to empty that bowl as best I can before it gets too full.

Anything that relieves stress for you will help. Watching movies, spending time for yourself, making something, reading, video games, meditation, working out, venting to another (Feel free to PM me if you need ). All sorts of things that you can help regain your focus. Being aware of what you can change and what you can't, and working on changing (either a problem or yourself) is extremely helpful for me too.

And when chaos is running rampant, I picture myself as if I'm in the center of a tornado. Wind and debris raging around me while I stand calm and untouched. It's a visual that helps me distance myself from an immediate emergency so I can stay calm and centered and can act the way I want to instead of simply reacting. Sometimes I need a mantra to help (Jedi Code is great for that )

I can share what works for me. I do three things together.

The first is a daily practice that both helps on the difficult days and makes me more resilient on the days when I am not particularly challenged. Think of it like working out. Everyday, you are a tiny bit stronger.

The second is that I give myself permission, within reason, to protect myself and step away from situations that will overwhelm me. Use your beat judgement. You can't realm check out of life, but you can say that this particular event is not what you need right then.

The last is the hardest for me. I need to accept that I will not always be okay and that this is okay too. Accept that you are a mortal person with limits. When I remove the pressure on myself of constantly being okay, it gets a lot easier to manage times that are difficult.

So today is difficult. I have had difficult days before. I am not at my best. I have been not at my best before. Just do your best, no extra pressure to be perfect. If your skill is insufficient and you act out, do your best to make right, figure out a better plan for next time, and try to let that go.

Also, I find kittens and puppies to be helpful.

This works for me and laugh if you want but it has never failed, not once.

Excuse yourself for a moment and go stand on your head for 30 seconds. In the bathroom, outside, wherever.

Works wonders.

I first came to the Temple during the busy season for my job. During that time I found myself greatly annoyed by the tiniest things as the stress of the constant demands on me grew and grew. I found that if I used what little time I had between things to do, such as waiting for something to print, and breathed it would help. An extra "bathroom" break now and then helped me too because who's going to come bother me in there? During my breathing times I also recite the Jedi creed as that is one of the things that I connect with most in our doctrine. It helped remind me of what I'm trying to achieve and how I'm trying to live my life.

I hope this helps.

Thank you for your responses, everyone. I've definitely gotten better at catching myself in the middle of my reactions since joining, I think I just have the same problem Cabur was talking about. That is, accepting my limits. It's difficult for me to not feel as if I've failed somehow when I react in anger to something I know is not worth it. I'll definitely start working on being able to forgive myself for that and being content in knowing that it will just get better and better. (I also go in for a bit of kitten therapy when I get home every day. :laugh: )

Kamizu wrote: And when chaos is running rampant, I picture myself as if I'm in the center of a tornado. Wind and debris raging around me while I stand calm and untouched.

And, Kamizu, I absolutely LOVE this visual. Thank you for sharing it.

I once discovered that if I spend a whole morning (a few hours in a row) deliberately paying attention to my breath during whatever I'm doing, that I naturally end up breathing deeper. I found that I grew alot more relaxed than usual (I'm sure due to the extra oxygen to my brain) for most of the rest of the day. In that state, I was immensely more level headed and able to calmly handle and resolve issues that arose throughout the day. Try it sometime.

That's a really good idea, Proteus. I know paying attention to my breathing is how I calm myself when I catch myself about to fly off the handle. Maybe consciously paying attention to it throughout the beginning of my day will help prevent becoming irrational in the first place.

I don't know if this will help anyone else dealing with a similar issue, but today I'm making a list of everything that gets under my skin like that. Later, I plan on taking everything and reflecting on why it gets to me so badly. I'm already seeing how stupid some of it really is, so hopefully that suggestion can help someone else in the same boat.

Being aware is the first step in being centered.

Calm… I prefer the term ‘at peace.’

Being aware of all that is around you; the connections; how things flow; yourself; and understanding what is going on helps the individual to be at peace. Knowing that moment you are in, letting go of the past and not searching for a connection to the future but residing in that moment and being aware. It is almost circular. Being that it is difficult to be one with the moment and aware unless you are at peace and it is being aware and accepting your place in the universe that helps one to be at peace.

It is a conscience effort that cannot be forced; a choice that has to be surrendered to. A state of mind without active thought but aware of all, not being led, but not leading. To be one with the universe.

An infinite moment of Bliss.

How does one reach this? Be aware, let go, and realize what you are supposed to be aware of and where you are meant to be; that moment.