Happiness is a Choice?

I don’t know that “happiness” is so much a choice.

There are things that have the ability to make us mad if we choose to allow our self to react that way. There are things that will make us happy if we choose to allow those things to affect us in that way. The difference is that many people think that being happy is better than being mad, or sad. But they are all integral parts of life. We can get into that in another thread I guess. :whistle:

And being unhappy isn’t as bad to me as many people seem to think it is. To me, it just means not happy. That isn’t sad, angry, hurt, depressed or any other negative thing… it just means that I am currently not in a state of elation. I spend a lot of time just being; very calm and unwavering. Not happy or sad, just being. I do not see this as a problem either.

The problem I see is people not able to just be. :blink: So often we seem to spend a great deal of effort chasing this “happy.” Does that mean we are just trying to eliminate the bad, or are we actually trying to always be in an elated state? That would be just as bad as being angry too often I would think.

I’m just sharing the thoughts I had while reading this thread. They are by no means meant to persuade anyone or offer some kind of guidance! They are the ramblings of an idiot trying to make sense of it all.

I don't always think happiness is a choice.. Sometimes you can feel unhappy for no reason and you can't always change it by thinking positively or meditating or getting out, exercising or all the other things that people tell you to do.
Sometimes you just have to feel the unhappiness, let it run it's course then get on with life. Sometimes the feelings just have to be experienced and trying to change that can cause more problems than it solves.
There is nothing wrong with being unhappy, just remember that it isn't who you are.

Perhaps happiness is a decision...
Perhaps a will to decide to be void or absent of unhappiness.
Perhaps happiness is the heart of contentment, the spirits joy....
We cry tears of happiness because perhaps the heart is lifted up, as opposed to a heavy heart full of sorrow...
Happiness is only moments...
True happiness to me is the comfort and joy I may provide in giving love.

Thank you for the topic and question. Wonderful replies all around.

Proteus wrote: Hey you.... DON'T think of an orange cow!

Could you stop yourself from thinking of it while reading that?

No?

Then how are you going to demand (or choose) yourself to be happy, when the demanding (choosing) is the ego itself that tricked you into being sad in the first place?

Why are you consulting the ego here at all?

Is happiness really an applied state of mind like an ointment on a rash? Or is it what becomes of you when you've realized (or forgotten) demands created through ego?

And so, what's got you down in the first place? What points of view of life in the current moment plays a role in making you feel down?

If / when you figure it out, play around with it... invert it. Expand the view of life to put the significance of that view into a different perspective.

Essentially, instead of "deciding to be happy", simply "diffuse the view of things that is stopping you from feeling happy" Diffuse the ego and put it away for a while.

Make sense?

I was just curious as to whether your cow was white with orange spots or orange with white spots.

Happy to me is a moment in time. It is not a sustained state of being. Like Being Sad, it is a passing moment of time. Both are essential to a healthy self. You have to have the bad stuff to remind/realize how good the good stuff is.

The goal would be to have more peaks of happiness, than valleys of sadness, while living mostly in the now of content.
You ever met someone that was just constantly bubbly and happy? You ever just want to choke them or punch them in the face? Then you would feel happy! No? I think they are overcompensating. Seriously though, you can have happy all around you and it does not help your improve your mood, it may even make you brood and fester in an even more foul mood/sadness.

Our moods are affected by our environment, situations, friends, etc… If you wish to be happy, you have to change one or more of these things. You cannot sit in stagnation and expect happiness to appear. Though sometimes it can, but then something did change.

Too much mind leads to the dog chasing the tail. You cannot achieve happiness by chasing after it simply stating “be happy”. It will stay out of reach, causing more frustration and disappointment.

Forget trying to be happy. Do something and allow the happiness to come. An engaged or distracted mind can find the moments of joy that are needed to remind us of the happiness that is peeking right around the next corner.

I believe happiness is a balance of things; no one thing can make us happy.

I agree that you cannot will happiness, but there are things you can do to encourage it; take time with your family, pursue your interests, and so on.

But the balance is not just the 'everyday' things. A teenage family member of mine is in a 'mental health' ward with severe long term depression (dysthymia); telling her to find happiness is like telling her to dig her way out of a ten foot hole filled with earth. She sees some progress but she doesn't see the light yet. Her mental health has shifted her balance way off, and only time and support will push her balance back. I sometimes wonder how she got there; what causes such an extreme unbalance? Perhaps happiness is partly biological?

Having written that I've changed my mind. I don't know if happiness is a choice or not, and maybe our dissatisfaction with life and lack of happiness is caused by too long spent trying to decide what happiness is.

Wow this has gotten a lot of answers lol

I think to start with one would have to define happiness.
I mean regardless of the Fancy terms and mental gymnastics, what does it mean to be happy.
Ive heard this a lot too and in a book I read recently one of the Odd Thomas they mention the idea that Happiness is a choice. That Odd the main character is in a state of grace at peace with the current state of things And that he can choose to be happy again.

For most of my adult life I've dealt to the best of my abilities with depression. Ive never had any one tell that Happiness is a choice granted Prozac but I doubt that's what people are referring to. Like my moods and the tides all things change good and bad and the only control any one really has is how they live their respective lives. Something I've herd is be the change you want to see so when I'm sad I am sad but and the same goes for the full spectrum of emotion I also don't let my anger or worries or even depression make my choices for me. I find things to do or enjoy and take what solace they offer and keep it moving mostly it's books and movies and music. I create and beer with a good friend.

Happiness for me isnt that i stop feeling one way its that I accept that for reasons I am not feeling 100% and enjoy What I can when I can

Happiness is not a doing.
Happiness is a happening, an event...
A culmination...
Happiness is letting go of desiring happiness...
Happiness cannot exist without sadness. One cannot be without the other.

Happiness is a reaction. Enjoyment is a choice.
Sadness is a reaction. Comfort is a choice.
Pain is a reaction. Suffering is a choice.
Fear is a reaction. Courage is a choice.

Going through ASMR videos, I came across one particular one, which I felt spoke wonderfully on several points about happiness. Whether or not some of them may already be well obvious or not, I wanted to share it, so figured instead of making a whole separate topic, or posting it on the wall, I'd add it to this thread which is still relevant enough considering what we've explored throughout it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUoUTgyamD0