Happiness is a Choice?

Whenever I hear this, I'm usually unhappy. The other day I was wondering that if it was a choice, why weren't my efforts in simply choosing it working? I was minding my thoughts, doing all the thing they say to do to make you feel happier, and yet.. inside I felt the sadness, still. I was beating myself up about not being able to choose to be happy. How insane is that?

And then I found these articles and wondered anyone else's thoughts on the topic.
I understand we can choose how to respond to something - we can control our thoughts - but is it really as simple as just choosing to be happy? What does choosing to be happy mean to you?

Happiness Isn't Just a Choice

Myth: We Can Choose to be Happy

I recently wrote a sermon (last month) on perspective, and how easy it is to be brought down by the chaos around us.

Alot of depression is a result of either living conditions (and for some this cannot be changed), chemical imbalances, or a misinterpretation of the illusions regarding time and space. Even clinical depression can be treated holistically without the use of pharmaceuticals by way of daily meditation and yoga practices.

To me, a large part of happiness is remembering to be appreciative for all the things I take for granted, and how lucky I am to still be alive. I can't speak for everyone alive, I have spent a LARGE chunk of my life angry and depressed. I had to choose to not to be angry and depressed to change my outlook on life.

We live in Paradise, a planet within a sea of chaos and destruction. The majority of problems in our lives are manmade. Even people with severe disabilities find reasons to be happy...

I read the first line of those two links, and I chose not to read the rest...

Don't try to be happy. No amount of effort won't make you happy. Trying to be happy means that you see yourself unhappy therefore you are trying to be happy. Just thinking that you are not happy at moment will bring you down - making any effort for being happy useless.

Instead, see yourself as happy. Smile. Don't try to be happy. If you think you are unhappy, STOP THINKING! Go for a walk. Talk to someone who is usually happy...

It is interesting that when you smile, it's hard to think about sad things...

Hey you.... DON'T think of an orange cow!

Could you stop yourself from thinking of it while reading that?

No?

Then how are you going to demand (or choose) yourself to be happy, when the demanding (choosing) is the ego itself that tricked you into being sad in the first place?

Why are you consulting the ego here at all?

Is happiness really an applied state of mind like an ointment on a rash? Or is it what becomes of you when you've realized (or forgotten) demands created through ego?

And so, what's got you down in the first place? What points of view of life in the current moment plays a role in making you feel down?

If / when you figure it out, play around with it... invert it. Expand the view of life to put the significance of that view into a different perspective.

Essentially, instead of "deciding to be happy", simply "diffuse the view of things that is stopping you from feeling happy" Diffuse the ego and put it away for a while.

Make sense?

Proteus wrote: Hey you.... DON'T think of an orange cow!

Could you stop yourself from thinking of it while reading that?

No?

Then how are you going to demand (or choose) yourself to be happy, when the demanding (choosing) is the ego itself that tricked you into being sad in the first place?

Why are you consulting the ego here at all?

Is happiness really an applied state of mind like an ointment on a rash? Or is it what becomes of you when you've realized (or forgotten) demands created through ego?

And so, what's got you down in the first place? What points of view of life in the current moment plays a role in making you feel down?

If / when you figure it out, play around with it... invert it. Expand the view of life to put the significance of that view into a different perspective.

Essentially, instead of "deciding to be happy", simply "diffuse the view of things that is stopping you from feeling happy" Diffuse the ego and put it away for a while.

Make sense?

To me, yes, it makes sense. To the masses, probably not so easy...

I think we can often choose to adopt the outward appearance of happiness, but if we could all simply "turn off" painful emotions like sadness I expect our lives would be a little different...

Often when someone says "Choose to be happy!" I get the impression it's a misunderstanding; that they're an optimist speaking to pessimists. If your outlook allows you to simply be happy whatever, good for you... but for others it's clearly not so simple.

At the same time, at some of the worst times in my life I've been advised by both friends and professionals to try simply smiling more, whatever I was feeling - not for anyone else, just when I'm by myself. It did have the effect of lifting my mood a little, so perhaps there's something to that. It affects a kind of Pavlovian response I suppose... the brain thinks "I'm smiling, so.. I must be happy!". It's not really a long-term solution though.

Another attitude I've seen is "Stop choosing to be miserable", which is subtly different.. and I suppose people can make their own mood worse by wallowing, or bringing more misery into their life when they're already feeling bad. At the same time whilst unhappy people don't always make the best decisions, I don't think there are that many people out there who are actively trying to be unhappier... although I expect some would consider that a little naive of me.

Interesting topic, I'd never have thought about it if you hadn't posted this. Thanks!

I wanted to share these two articles (written by Serge King, a Huna practitioner) because they often help me when I'm dealing with related issues. Perhaps they will help or inspire you in some way as well.

A Living Philosophy
Today Is Different

In a speech heard that it is not to eliminate unhappiness, but to keep it to a minimum, it is not a choice, only to accept the reality in which you live, accept your problems and through challenges of acceptance and meditation will achieve peace , not happiness, but the serenity and calm to deal with these problems so successful and thus achieve even for a brief moment a real happiness, is worth more than a feigned happiness.

Train yourself to let go of what you fear to lose. An unattached heart will never be broke. But then again, can one such as that ever say they truly lived? (Yoda and Jackie Chan, oh yeah.)

This may seem a paradox, but I am happy I get sad. I wish I could explain it better...

Also, we can train our hearts(and frequently do) just as much as our minds and bodies...

Covey wrote about it when discussing pro-activity. Sometimes it helps me, still I think I still have to discover the feeling of happiness, or maybe I hope it. This can't be it. Not a good tought but ok