Life Just Isn't Fair

Why do we expect it to be and crab about our bad luck rather than just accept reality do the best we can to make our life better?

Whenever my kids tell me something isn't fair I respond: There is no such thing as "fair", it doesn't exist. There's the way it is and the way you want it to be.
I have to remind myself of that occasionally as well
We get these images in our brain of the way things "should" be...

I heard it said once, and now can't remember who said it, but I found it apt (I'm paraphrasing) :

We're really quite fortunate that Life isn't fair, for imagine if it were -- that would mean that all of the shite things which happen to us we would really deserve them !

A friend of mine used to always say "the county fair is the only real fair in life, and that place will rip you off too."

A desire for fairness seems to be fairly well hard coded in to humans. Studies have demonstrated that even very young humans react negativly to observing unfair treatment in other. We seem to have some innate expectation that good deeds will be rewarded and bad deeds punished, for whatever paradigm of good and bad you happen to be using.

This idea is of course expressed in the abrahamic religions as heaven and hell, in hindu as recarnation as higher or lower forms.

So 'life is not fair' but there is a universal(ish) expectation of fairness if not in this life than some other.

My own understanding of this is that it is a product of evolution that serves to promote social behvior that increases group survial.

I think you are right, Marquis, that behavior in young children is probably a biological drive to make sure other humans are being taken care of. Funny how some cultures are so good at training that behavior OUT of people as they grow.
I think the concept of "fairness" is often misread as "equality." I have been in situations that were not balanced at all, but since everyone was getting what they wanted, those situations felt totally "fair," though far from equal.
I also think the concept of "unfairness" is really just misread disappointment, jealousy, or greed. Other than that biological drive to take care of our own species.....

Rickie The Grey wrote: Why do we expect it to be and crab about our bad luck rather than just accept reality do the best we can to make our life better?

Because, as a society, we teach our children to "play fair" in "fair games." We expect a "fair shake" at our "fair share", and a "fair trial" should we be looked at by the inquisitive eye of the law. If it turns against us, "it's a fair cop."

We're surrounded by this silly notion, constantly, that we should all be fair (so then, fair things can happen to us). We've built our own little denial of reality, and we can't expect to be comfortable when it comes crashing down around our ears.

When I used to say "It's Not Fair" my parents would usually retort with "it's not raining either though is it", thinking about it they were just taking the p*ss but when you really think about it... lol.

We spend too much time comparing ourselves to others...

"Why should they get a better deal outta life than I do?"

As Coyote mentioned, we feel intrinsically that we deserve equality with everyone else...

I wonder, if someone lived in complete solitude their whole life (ignoring the fact that it would be impossible to survive as an infant...or even be born in the first place ) - would they have any concept of fairness?

V-Tog wrote: We spend too much time comparing ourselves to others...

...

I wonder, if someone lived in complete solitude their whole life (ignoring the fact that it would be impossible to survive as an infant...or even be born in the first place ) - would they have any concept of fairness?

Very good point!!! I wonder indeed, would the idea of fairness even exist without comparative thinking??

"I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet."