The great expectation

I'm just sort of throwing this out there but I'm hoping people might have some insight. I'm generally of the opinion that I'm awesome. Not in an overbearing, everyone else sucks and I'm too cool sort of way, but in a mello, flowing perfectly fitting piece of the universal puzzle sort of way. Occasionally, 8in my awesomeness I have a strong feeling of inadequacy and my brain likes to jump on that feeling and assign all sorts of things to it, like "I'm not making enough money" or" I'm just spinning my wheels" or" I'm to weak to change " or "I have no real willpower" or the ultimately dreaded "how could I possibly be happy with who I am knowing full well what I could be?"

I just don't know how to deal with it...

You are not your thoughts. I recently posted the Power of Now YouTube video (full audiobook) in "the corner of the library thread." I Highly recommend listening to it....

Hang in there. Those feeligs will pass. Take a nap or go see a funny movie. Everything will be OK.

I'm happy that you are aware of yourself. But ask yourself this. With each step in your journey, be it to enlightenment, the bookstore or the bathroom, are you unhappy with where you are standing simply because you have not yet reached your destination? As long as you know where you want to end up,I think you can be happy with the person who is still striving to get there.

rugadd wrote: I'm just sort of throwing this out there but I'm hoping people might have some insight. I'm generally of the opinion that I'm awesome. Not in an overbearing, everyone else sucks and I'm too cool sort of way, but in a mello, flowing perfectly fitting piece of the universal puzzle sort of way. Occasionally, 8in my awesomeness I have a strong feeling of inadequacy and my brain likes to jump on that feeling and assign all sorts of things to it, like "I'm not making enough money" or" I'm just spinning my wheels" or" I'm to weak to change " or "I have no real willpower" or the ultimately dreaded "how could I possibly be happy with who I am knowing full well what I could be?"

I just don't know how to deal with it...

What standard are you using to measure your money, willpower, progress, goals?

Where did you get that standard/those standards from?

Is that standard helping you or hurting you?

When you feel such anxieties, it is often because you are investing too much of yourself in the future, rather than being present. We all do it. The cure is taking a moment to be in the now, and realizing that the future does not exist.

For example, unless you are currently unable to meet your financial obligations, then you cannot be said to be making an inadequate amount of money. If that is the case, you may have reason to be anxious, and would understandably want to change your situation.

The idea of being stuck, or spinning one's wheels, as you put it, is another symptom of being too mindful of the future. If you know your potential, then your decisions should lead you to that point. Until then, realize that every moment is part of that journey!

Finally, if you feel that you are too weak, then you will be. If you feel that you have no willpower, then you will find you have none. This is defeatism, pure and simple. If you ever feel this way, then I recommend watching this:



Hope this helps, my friend!

how can well being and not well being occupy the space?


:ohmy:

My entire life is a teeter-tottering balance between "I am woefully inadequate and unworthy of praise" and "Hail to the King, baby!" I've never found a way to fix it, but I deal with it by understanding the duality of the problem.

See, academically, I know I'm awesome. I know it in the same way that I know the sky is blue, the sun is hot, and the mention of the prequels starts controversy. The facts are all there: I do a lot of awesome things, I know a lot of awesome facts, I generally behave in an awesome manner, and I'm surrounded by awesome people.

Unfortunately, the inadequacy comes in with the feelings. I don't feel awesome. I feel dumb. And unlovable. And like a total failure. I feel this way because, even though I /know/ I'm awesome, I don't believe I'm awesome. My perception of self is not in line with the reality as presented by facts.

This difference between the objective (academic knowledge) and subjective (emotional surety or faith) is present in other places, too. I know lots of people who "know" objectively (as far as one can) that their religion is "right", or their country is objectively a pretty okay place so far as general human rights go, but they don't believe either of those things on a daily basis. Knowledge and faith, the objective and the subjective, will always have a hard time getting along, and you don't necessarily always have both at once--but you will always have both eventually.

If you can find a way to fit both of those things in your head at once--shove over the subjective deprecation of self-worth to make room for the objective facts of your awesomeness beside it--it should help you deal with it a bit better. Eventually, it just became another thing to me. One of the many quirks that makes me myself. It kind of runs in the background now, giving me less worry daily, because it's sat right beside its "opposite", and I can clearly see the contrast at work.

Hope that helps.

We all have negative aspects and feeling about ourselves. Heck we're human. I think it helps to focuse on our good aspects, change (put in the effort) what we can and not dwell on the negative. Decide to be happy.

rugadd wrote: I'm just sort of throwing this out there but I'm hoping people might have some insight. I'm generally of the opinion that I'm awesome. Not in an overbearing, everyone else sucks and I'm too cool sort of way, but in a mello, flowing perfectly fitting piece of the universal puzzle sort of way. Occasionally, 8in my awesomeness I have a strong feeling of inadequacy and my brain likes to jump on that feeling and assign all sorts of things to it, like "I'm not making enough money" or" I'm just spinning my wheels" or" I'm to weak to change " or "I have no real willpower" or the ultimately dreaded "how could I possibly be happy with who I am knowing full well what I could be?"

I just don't know how to deal with it...

I spend most of my days with the knowledge that I am NOT awesome . I'm just me. I have this idea stuck in my head that if I can do it, then anyone else can too. Everything I can do is normal and mundane. I see others and think "Oh, they are so awesome, I could never do that!". But when I do step back and look, I've done and can do some pretty awesome things. I just don't feel like it most of the time.

"I'm not making enough money." Why? Are you not living in the home you want? Can you not make the bills? Do you not have all the toys you want? Most of this takes effort to fix. Either by budgeting, working towards a better job, supplementing with another job, selling unneeded items, 'cutting the fat' off of the phone or cable/internet bill,

"I'm just spinning my wheels" What is it that you are trying to accomplish?

"I'm too weak to change " or "I have no real willpower" is the same field of thought. Forget it. When the thought comes, take your sword to it. There's no place for those thoughts. Because if you believe it, it is so. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. What do you want to change? Break it down. What are the steps you need to do to get there? What will it take?

"how could I possibly be happy with who I am knowing full well what I could be?"
What are you doing to progress to what you could be? Are you on the path? Taking a short breather? Maybe a detour? Are you stagnant? why? Are you moving? Good! What you COULD be isn't as important as what you ARE. For me, I'm a being of learning. I have an idea of where I want to be, BUT in the meantime, I am thoroughly enjoying the journey. And if I get an unexpected Plot Twist in my personal story, then so be it! I'll do something else. But there are no wasted efforts. There's always something you can get out of it all. Learning a lesson to simple experience. It all goes to making you who you are. I'm nearly half-way to retiring out of the military and we're all being threatened with separation. Would these nine years in the military be a waste since my goal is to retire? Not at all! I've learned SO much about myself, about life, about other places, about people, about the job I do that even if I do go do something in a different line of work, I would consider these last nine years well lived.

I am happy with who I am, knowing what I could be, because I also know that I am moving. I cannot become who I could be without being who I am.

"I just don't know how to deal with it..."
You accept it. You examine your feelings, realize why they are the way they are. And if you can't accept the basis for them, change it. It takes work, dedication, and an understanding that there are cycles everyone goes through. If you need support, you reach out for it. Sometimes it helps just to talk it out to someone who'll listen. Sometimes the answer is simply "wait". Many times, by simply changing your point of view, it all gets better. And most of all, forgive yourself for weakness. Nobody is perfect. No one is strong 100% of the time. We all break down, we all cry. Do NOT consider yourself weak for it. Take it as a time for internal reflection. Hand-write a letter to yourself. Get in touch with the internal you. Look around and appreciate the world around you. Even if it is simply the way the sun lights up the rippling water. Realize that you are a part of this world. And most of all: breathe