mind control

meganrtaylor wrote: Jestor, I understand what you're saying here and I think its a good idea. The only issue I have is if I allow these thoughts and emotions to flow the become more intense. Is that a bad thing? Shouldnt I try to control my emotions?

Have you ever thought that perhaps when they are becoming more intense that they are just about to hit the peak of the wave? When you stifle the emotion the wave has to start over, because at some point it has to complete the cycle before it can start to become less like a wave and more like an ebb in the tide.

So, we have this memory, we have a stream...

If we hold back a stream, if we dam it, what happens?

Water pools, it collects, the pressure builds until it won't be denied, ans manifests itself...

Most often, tears maybe... But maybe a bad attitude, which when taken out on an exterior object, is seldom good...

UNless your a baker, and, oh, say you might be making cookies, and the dough needs 'roughened up'...

Er, back on topic...

But, if you let the stream flow, it simply flows....

I'm not sure what she calls it, but my wife(wiccan, solitary) has a festival in October where we all specifically tell stories about our lost ones, funny and sad, talk as if they are still alive, pour them drinks, and generally celebrate having known them. I'm not a witch but doing this helped me get over losing one of my best friends from high school to cancer and my Uncle to a heart attack. Now I smile when I remember them, like when things happen they would appreciate. Still with me, I guess, and happy to make me happy instead of sad to make me sad...

Samhain

Jestor said:

Dont forget them, but, you dont want to dwell on them until you are sad, or incapacitated by the memories, they are only memories...

I don't think the problem is really dwelling. It's more of involuntary invasive thoughts. I carry on with my life just fine, well other than the not sleeping.

I really do think it is just due to the anniversary coming up. It's triggering some subconscious thoughts.

I did enjoy the story though. I have heard it before but it has been many years. Thank you for reminding me of it. Food for thought.

Brenna said:

because at some point it has to complete the cycle before it can start to become less like a wave and more like an ebb in the tide.

Very good analogy. I see that almost everybody here is giving water analogies. It makes sense though. I am personally scared to death of water, and have never been in an ocean...yeah. I'm a woodsy kind of girl. Firm solid ground that doesn't try to kill you

Thank you for the help.

Rugadd

I'm not sure what she calls it, but my wife(wiccan, solitary) has a festival in October where we all specifically tell stories about our lost ones, funny and sad, talk as if they are still alive, pour them drinks, and generally celebrate having known them.

Now that sounds like a very healthy way to approach the emotional issues that come along with loosing someone. I have a ton of wiccan friends, but we rarely talk about religion. I will talk to them and see if I can't impose myself on their witchy funness.

meganrtaylor wrote: Brenna said:

because at some point it has to complete the cycle before it can start to become less like a wave and more like an ebb in the tide.

Very good analogy. I see that almost everybody here is giving water analogies. It makes sense though. I am personally scared to death of water, and have never been in an ocean...yeah. I'm a woodsy kind of girl. Firm solid ground that doesn't try to kill you

Thank you for the help.

Emotions are often represented by water in mythology. Im not overly enthusiastic about water either, but its easier to float on a wave than it is to try fight an ocean.


Not sure if it helps, but wrote this in an article a little while back.

Learning to master your attitude and emotions is a little bit like swimming in the ocean every day. Some days it’s calm and flat and you can paddle around quietly or float on your back and just feel the rhythm of the water. Then there are the days where you get thrown around and battered by every single wave, struggling to stand and getting salt water in your eyes. If you’ve ever been pulled under by a wave you’ll know what its like to feel disorientated, not knowing which way is up or down and not being able to do anything but desperately try to swim up. There’s a scary moment where you wonder if you’re going to drown but your only option is to keep kicking before you eventually find your way to the surface for that big reassuring gasp of air.

Our emotions are an ocean; they are never static and can be totally unpredictable. Like the ocean, we cannot change or negotiate with our emotions. They just are. But putting in the work to learn how to manage them is the difference between trying to stand up while being tossed about in the waves, and having a surfboard to ride them out. You’re still going to fall off from time to time and get thrown around, but once you accept that the wave will always win, it’s much easier to learn to ride it out than it is to try stand up and fight against it. The reassuring part though is that eventually the ocean will calm down and you can go back to paddling in the shallows, unconcerned about the tide, and just like being in the ocean, sometimes you’re waving to those swimming around you, and sometimes you’re putting your hand up for help.

Tao Te Ching 8 :

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It is content with the low places that people disdain.
Thus it is like the Tao. In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present. When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.

So, I really don't mind when someone says that I'm all wet ...

meganrtaylor wrote: This is death anniversary season for me. Over the last 3 years I have lost 6 friends and fellow soldiers and they seem to go in groups around the same time. I have not slept for 2 days because when I lay down at night I see them. I've tried meditation, I just think I'm doing something wrong. Ad soon as I feel like I have emptied myself thier faces flash and then I'm flooded with the feelings of loss.

Any pointers on controlling my mind a little better?

Strangely enough a family member just died like 2 days ago. And then this post. I think what you're experiencing is perfectly normal. I think the best way to deal with it is to really deal with it. If you're seeing their faces then go get photos and look at them and remember them, their faces, etc. I like to imagine what they would wish for if they could make a wish and what they would say to me. They would probably tell me to go live my life and be happy...