Accident or Deliberate?

rugadd wrote: Disregarding one's emotions, motivations and perception on an issue is selfish unless you disregard your own as well.

If someone wants to explain, apologize, and tell their story - I agree. Apologies aren't for the victim nearly as much as they are for the perpetrator. They are a way of letting go of pain and guilt - I understand that. If someone wanted to apologize and explain and you refused them, that would be a very different scenario than mulling it around in your brain wishing.

What something means to me personally and what it actually is are 2 different things. Strong emotions do not trump reality. A lesson I am learning.

Rugadd wrote:

What something means to me personally and what it actually is are 2 different things. Strong emotions do not trump reality. A lesson I am learning.

I would have said: "Strong emotions do not trump truth".

The reality of the situation is that our emotions can alter one perspective or reality by influencing the other person by fear or sorrow.

There is a saying..."Perception becomes Reality" but perception or the perceived reality never becomes the truth!

I would like to add this question...

If we are asking for forgiveness because of a wrong we have done, and the subject of our wrong doing does not accept our apology:

1 - Do we retract our apology?
2 - Do we continue to to seek forgiveness?
3 - Do we move on with our lives knowing what we did was wrong and be mindful of it in the future so as not to repeat it?
4 - Do we try to make up for it by gifts and special favors?
5 - Who is now the wrong doer? Is it the person seeking forgiveness or the one who does not accept the apology?

Phortis Nespin wrote: I would like to add this question...

If we are asking for forgiveness because of a wrong we have done, and the subject of our wrong doing does not accept our apology:

1 - Do we retract our apology?
2 - Do we continue to to seek forgiveness?
3 - Do we move on with our lives knowing what we did was wrong and be mindful of it in the future so as not to repeat it?
4 - Do we try to make up for it by gifts and special favors?
5 - Who is now the wrong doer? Is it the person seeking forgiveness or the one who does not accept the apology?

I'm sure everyone will have their own answers for these based on their own experience and reasoning.
My answers:
1. No.
2. No.
3. Yes.
4. No.
5. Both. One doesn't negate the other nor add to it.

1. No
2. No
3. Yes
4. I would say it is appropriate to balance the damage I did.
5. Neither. One doesn't validate the other nor subtract from it.

1. No

2. I probably would try. Or beat myself up about it. But sometimes I realize it's better to leave it alone, and sometimes time heals the wound better than I could with my actions. But perhaps that is an action of leaving the issue alone...

3. I'd like to. But sometimes, in the past anyhow, my action has hurt me and I only wanted to forget the sin. This isn't learning from it, but trying rather not to re-live the memory. Foolishness of me but at the time felt natural and the best course of action..

4. Perhaps. If it gives us peace of mind? If not, feels to me fairly pointless...

5. Difficult to say, because all that we're sure of is our perception of us doing a wrong, and therefore wanting forgiveness, I'm not sure whether them NOT forgiving us is a sin, because perhaps we committed an act too atrocious for them to forgive in which case it might be understandable. And also, the sin we committed is now in the past, and we at the very least asked for forgiveness (even if we did no more), so are we still in the wrong even after asking? Is there even a wrongdoer now? And is asking enough for one to prove they'd at least like to be forgiven? I don't know. Some people like some christains might argue that if you cannot forgive, how can you expect Jesus to forgive you? So from that point of view, wouldn't the person NOT forgiving be committing a sin?
(Excuse the haziness of the answers)

rugadd wrote: 5. Neither. One doesn't validate the other nor subtract from it.

Your answer intrigued me. I'd love for you to elaborate, if you wouldn't mind? I'm wondering how "neither" came to be your answer?

Right and wrong are human constructs and do not exist.

rugadd wrote: Right and wrong are human constructs and do not exist.

That's an interesting perspective and one I'm sure has been discussed before.. Thank you for elaborating.