Stoic Meditations

"Remember that it's only the desire for wealth and position that debases and subjugates us, but also the desire for peace, leisure, travel, and learning. It doesn't matter what the external thing is, the value we place on it subjugates us to another...where are our heart is set to pine, there our impediment lies."
Surely, Epictetus isn't saying that peace, leisure, travel, and learning are bad, is he? Thankfully, no. But ceaseless, ardent desire - if not bad in and of itself - is fraught with potential complications. What we desire makes us vulnerable. Whether it's an opportunity to travel world or to be the president or for five minutes of peace and quiet, when we pine for something, when we hope against hope, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Because fate can always intervene and then we'll likely lose our self-control in response.

As Diogenes, the famous Cynic, once said, "It is the privilege of the gods to want nothing, and of godlike men to want little." To want nothing makes one invincible - because nothing of yourself lies outside your control. This doesn't just go for not wanting the easy-to-criticize things like wealth or fame - the kinds of folly that we see illustrated in some of our most classic plays and fables. That green light that Gatsby strove for can represent seemingly good things too, like love or a noble cause. But it can wreck someone all the same.

When it comes to your goals and the things you strive for, ask yourself: Am I in control of them or they in control of me?

"Cato practiced the kind of public speech capable of moving the masses, believing proper political philosophy takes care like any great city to maintain the warlike element. But he was never seen practicing in front of others, and no one ever heard him rehearse a speech. When he was told that people blamed him for his silence, he replied, ' Better they not blame my life. I begin to speak only when I'm certain what I'll say isn't better left unsaid.'"
It's easy to act - to just dive in. It's harder to stop, to pause, to think: No, I'm not sure I need to do that yet. I'm not sure I am ready. As Cato entered politics, many expected swift and great things from him - stirring speeches, roaring condemnations, wise analyses. He was aware of this pressure - a pressure that exists on all of us at times - and resisted. It's easy to pander to the mob (and to our ego).

Instead, he waited and prepared. He parsed his own thoughts, made sure he was not reacting emotionally, selfishly, ignorantly, or prematurely. Only then would he speak - when he was confident that his words were worthy of being heard.

To do this requires awareness. It requires us to stop and evaluate ourselves and our message honestly. Can you do that?

"You shouldn't give circumstances the power to rouse anger, for they don't care at all."
A significant chunk of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations is made up of short quotes and passages from other writers. This is because Marcus wasn't necessarily trying to produce an original work - instead he was practicing, reminding himself here and there of important lessons, and sometimes these lessons were things he had read.

This particular quote is special because it comes from a play by Euripides, which, except for a handful of quoted fragments like this, is lost to us. From what we can gather about the play, Bellerophon, the hero, comes to doubt the existence of the gods. But in this line, he is saying: Why bother getting mad at causes and forces far bigger than us? Why do we take these things personally? After all, external events are not sentient beings - they cannot respond to our shouts and cries - and neither can the mostly indifferent gods.

That's what Marcus was reminding himself of here: circumstances are incapable of considering or caring for your feelings, your anxieties, or your excitement. They don't care about your reaction. They are not people. So stop acting like getting worked up is having an impact on a given situation. Situations won't feel the impact at all.

"Keep in mind that it isn't the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that it's really your own opinion fueling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, for with time and distance self-mastery is more easily achieved."
The Stoics remind us that there really is no such thing as an objectively good or bad occurrence. When a billionaire loses $1 million in market fluctuation, it's not the same as when you or I lose a million dollars. Criticism from your worst enemy is received differently than negative words from a spouse. If someone sends you an angry email but you never see it, did the anger actually happen? In other words, these situations require our participation, context, and categorization in order to be "bad."

Our reaction is what actually decides whether 'bad' has occurred. If we feel that we've been wronged and get angry, of course that's how it will seem. If we raise our voice because we feel we're being confronted, naturally a confrontation will ensue.

But if we retain control of ourselves, we decide whether to label something good or bad. In fact, if that same event happened to us at different points in our lifetime, we might have very different reactions. So why not choose now to not apply these labels? Why not choose not to react?

"So, concerning the things we pursue, and which we vigorously exert ourselves, we owe this consideration - either there is nothing useful in them, or most aren't useful. Some of them are superfluous, while others aren't worth that much. But we don't discern this and see them as free, when they cost us dearly."
Of Seneca's many letters, this is probably one of the most important - and one of the least understood. He's making a point that goes unheard in a society of ever-bigger houses and ever more possessions: that there's a hidden cost to accumulation. And that the sooner we are aware of it, the better.

Remember: even what we get for free has a cost, if only in what we pay to store it - in our garages, in our minds, in our hearts. As you walk past the things stored therein, ask yourself: Do I need this? Is it superfluous? What is this actually worth? What is it costing me?

You might be surprised by the answers and how much you've been paying without even knowing it.

"An important place to begin in philosophy is this: a clear perception of one's own ruling principle."
Philosophy is intimidating. Where does one start? With books? With lectures? With the sale of your worldly possessions?

None of these things. Epictetus is saying that one becomes a philosopher when they begin to exercise their guiding reason and start to question the emotions and beliefs and even language that others take for granted. It is thought that an animal has self-awareness when it is able to fully recognize itself in the mirror. Perhaps we could say that we begin our journey into philosophy when we become aware of the ability to analyze our own minds.

Can you start with that step today? When you do, you may find that from it you really come alive - to paraphrase Socrates - that we can live lives that are actually worth living.

(Socrates's actual quote is, "The unexamined life is not worth living.")

"An important place to begin in philosophy is this: a clear perception of one's own ruling principle."
Philosophy is intimidating. Where does one start? With books? With lectures? With the sale of your worldly possessions?

None of these things. Epictetus is saying that one becomes a philosopher when they begin to exercise their guiding reason and start to question the emotions and beliefs and even language that others take for granted. It is thought that an animal has self-awareness when it is able to fully recognize itself in the mirror. Perhaps we could say that we begin our journey into philosophy when we become aware of the ability to analyze our own minds.

Can you start with that step today? When you do, you may find that from it you really come alive - to paraphrase Socrates - that we can live lives that are actually worth living.

(Socrates's actual quote is, "The unexamined life is not worth living.")

"Another has done me wrong? Let him see to it. He has his own tendencies, and his own affairs. What I have now is what the common nature has willed, and what I endeavor to accomplish now is what my nature wills.
Abraham Lincoln occasionally got fuming mad with a subordinate, one his generals, even his friends. Rather than taking it out on that person directly, he'd write a long letter, outlining his case why they were wrong and what he wanted them to know. Then Lincoln would fold it up, put the letter in the desk drawer, and never send it. Many of these letters survive only by chance.

He knew, as the former emperor of Rome knew, that it's often easier to fight back. It's tempting to give them a piece of your mind. But you almost always end up with regret. You almost always wish you hadn't sent the letter. Think of the last time you flew off the handle. What was the outcome? What was the ultimate benefit?

"Hold sacred your capacity for understanding. For in it is all, that our ruling principle won't allow anything to enter that is either inconsistent with nature or with the constitution of a logical creature. It's what demands due diligence, care for others, and obedience to the gods."
The fact that you can think, the fact that you can read this book, the fact that you are able to reason in and out of situations - all of this is what gives you the ability to improve your circumstances and become better. It's important to appreciate this ability, because it is a genuine ability. Not everyone is so lucky.

Take a little time today to remember that you're blessed with the capacity to use logic and reason to navigate situations and circumstances. This gives you great power to alter your circumstances and the circumstances of others. And remember that with power comes responsibility.

"You are not your body and hair-style, your possessions, but your capacity for choosing well. If your choices are beautiful, so too will you be."
It's that line the movie Fight Club: "You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet." Obviously our friend Epictetus never saw that movie or read the book - but apparently the consumerism of the 1990s existed in ancient Rome too.

It's easy to confuse the image we present to the world for who we actually are, especially when media messaging deliberately blurs that distinction.

You might look beautiful today, but if that was the result of vain obsession in the mirror this morning, the Stoics would ask, are you actually beautiful? A body built from hard work is admirable. A body built only to impress others not nearly so.

That's what the Stoics urge us to consider. Not how things appear, but what effort, activity, and choices they result from.

"Today I escaped from the crush of circumstances, or better put, I threw them out, for the crush wasn't from outside me but in my own assumptions."
On tough days we might say, "My work is overwhelming," or "My boss is really frustrating." If only we could understand that this is impossible. Someone can't frustrate you, work can't overwhelm you - these are external objects, and they have no access to your mind. Those emotions you feel, as real as they are, come from the inside, not the outside.

The Stoics use the word hypolepsis, which means "taking up" - of perceptions, thoughts, and judgments by our mind. What we assume, what we willingly generate in our mind, that's on us. We can't blame other people for making us feel stressed or frustrated any more than we can blame them for our jealousy. The cause is within us. They're just the target.

"People seek retreats for themselves in the country, by the sea, or in the mountains. You are very much in the habit of yearning for those same things. But this is entirely the trait of a base person, when you can, at any moment, find such a retreat in yourself. For nowhere can you find a more peaceful and less busy retreat than in your own soul - especially if on close inspection it is filled with ease, which I say is nothing more than being well-ordered. Treat yourself often to this retreat and be renewed."
Do you have a vacation coming up? Are you looking forward to the weekend so you can have some peace and quiet? Maybe, you think, after things settle down or after I get this over with. But by viewing 'peace and quiet' in terms of externals, how often do you actually achieve the peace you seek?

The Zen meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn popularized a famous expression: "Wherever you go, there you are." We can find a retreat at any time by looking inward. We can sit with our eyes closed and feel our breath go in and out. We can turn on some music and tune out the world. We can turn off technology or shut off those rampant thoughts in our head. Ultimately, what is inside will provide us peace. Nothing else.

"What is it then to be properly educated? It is learning to apply our natural preconceptions to the right things according to Nature, and beyond that to separate the things that lie within our power from those that don't."
A degree on a wall means you're educated as much as shoes on your feet mean you're walking. It's a start, but hardly sufficient. Classical education is a gem, but still only as valuable as the person committing to it. Many forget that they ought to focus on the one thing which lies within their control: themselves. A surviving fragment from the philosopher Heraclitus expresses that reality:

"Many who have learned
from Hesiod the countless names
of gods and monsters
never understand
that night and day are one."

Just as you can walk plenty well without shoes (though they're nice), you don't need to step into a classroom to understand the basic, fundamental reality of nature and of our proper role in it. Begin with awareness and reflection. Not just once, but every single second of every single day.

"Eat like a human being, drink like a human being, dress up, marry, have children, get politically active - suffer abuse, bear with a headstrong brother, father, son, neighbor, or companion. Show us these things so we can see that truly have learned from the philosophers."
Plutarch, a Roman biographer as well as an admirer of the Stoics, didn't begin his study of the greats of Roman literature until late in life. But, as he recounts in his biography of Demosthenes, he was surprised at how quickly it all came to him. He wrote, "It wasn't so much that the words brought me into a full understanding of events, as that, somehow, I had a personal experience of the events that allowed me to follow closely the meaning of the words."

This is what Epictetus means about the study of philosophy. Study, yes, but go live your life as well. It's the only way that you'll actually understand what any of it means. And more important, it's only from your actions and choices over time that it will be possible to see whether you took any of the teachings to heart.

Be aware of that today when you're going to work, going on a date, deciding whom to vote for, calling your parents in the evening, waving to your neighbor as you walk to your door, tipping the delivery man, saying goodnight to someone you love. All of that is philosophy. All of it is experience that brings meaning to the words.

"Hurry to your own ruling reason, to the reason of the While, and to your neighbor's. To your own mind to make it just; to the mind of the Whole to remember your place in it; and to your neighbor's mind to learn whether it's ignorant or of sound knowledge - while recognizing it's like yours."
If our lives are not ruled by reason, what rules them? Impulse? Mimicry? Habit? As we examine our past behavior, it's sad both how often this is the case, and how damaging it can be to our lives. There is considerable risk in not acting consciously or deliberately but instead by forces we did not bother to evaluate. Food, money, relationships - these are just a few of the arenas reason can help us become all that we hope to be. While reason is not all that a person is, use it as a tool to judge the external world wisely and govern oneself ably.

"Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions."
If you bend your body into a sitting position every day for a long enough period of time, the curvature of your spine changes. A doctor can tell from a radiograph (or an autopsy) whether someone sat at a desk for a living. If you shove your feet into tiny, narrow dress shoes each day, your feet begin to take on that form as well.

The same is true for our minds. If you hold a perpetually negative outlook, soon enough everything you encounter will seem negative. Close it off and you'll become closed-minded. Color it with the right, positive thoughts and your life will be dyed the same.

"Make sure you're not made 'Emperor,' avoid that imperial stain. It can happen to you, so keep yourself simple, good, pure, saintly, plain, a friend of justice, god-fearing, gracious, affectionate, and strong for your proper work. Fight to remain the person that philosophy wished to make of you. Revere the gods, and look after each other. Life is short - the fruit of this life is a good character and acts for the common good."
It is difficult even to conceive of what life must have been like for Marcus Aurelius - he wasn't born emperor, nor did he obtain the position deliberately. It was simply thrust upon him. Nevertheless, he was suddenly the richest man in the world, head of the most powerful army on earth, ruling over the largest empire in history, considered by some as a god among men.

It's no wonder he wrote little messages like this one to remind himself not to spin off the planet. Without them, he might have lost his sense of what was important - falling prey to the lies of all those who merely wanted something from him. And here we are, whatever we happen to be doing, at risk of spinning off ourselves.

When we experience success, we must make sure that it doesn't change us indeliberately - that we continue to maintain our character despite the temptation not to. Reason must lead the way no matter what good fortune comes along.

"From the very beginning, make it your practice to say to every harsh impression, 'you are an impression and not at all what you appear to be.' Next, examine and test it by the rules you possess, the first and greatest of which is this - whether it belongs to the things in our control or not in our control, and if the latter, be prepared to respond, 'It is nothing to me.'"
In an overly quantified world of policies and processes, some are swinging back in the other direction. Bold leaders will "trust their gut." A spiritual guru will say that it's important to "let your body guide you." A friend trying to helps us with a difficult decision might ask, "What feels right here?"

These approaches to decision making contradict voluminous case studies in which people's unchecked instincts have led them right into trouble. Our senses are often wrong. As animals subjected to the slow force of evolution, we have developed all sorts of heuristics, biases, and emotional responses that might have worked well on the savannah but can be counterproductive in today's world.

Part of Stoicism is cultivating awareness that allows you to step back and analyze your own senses, question their accuracy, and proceed only with the positive and constructive ones. Sure, it's tempting to throw discipline and order to the wind and go with what feels right - but if our many youthful experiences are any indication, what feels right in the moment doesn't always stand up well over time. Hold your senses suspect. Again, trust, but always verify.

It isn't events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgments about them.
The samurai swordsman Musashi made a distinction between our "perceiving eye" and our "observing eye." The observing eye sees what is. The perceiving eye sees what things supposedly mean. Which one do you think causes us the most anguish?

An event is inanimate. It's objective. It simply is what it is. That's our observing eye sees.

Your observing eye takes it all in, and your perceiving eye works it into meaningfulness. Do not conflate the two, and strive to be conscious of your perceiving eye's work.

"Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows."
Of all Stoics, Epictetus is the closest one to a true teacher. He had a school. He hosted classes. In fact, his wisdom is passed down to us through a student who took really good lecture notes. One of the things that frustrated Epictetus about philosophy students - and has frustrated a great many teachers - is how students claim to want to be taught but secretly believe they already 'know.' They merely want the lesson to confirm what they think they already know.

The reality is that we've all been guilty, and will be guilty of thinking like this at some point - even though we know we'd learn more if we could set that attitude aside. As smart or successful as we may be, there is always someone who is smarter, more successful, and wiser than us. Emerson put it well: "Every man I meet is my my master at some point, and in that I learn from him." In a similar sentiment, Bill Bye often said at the end of his science show, "Remember, everyone you meet, knows something you don't."

If you want to learn, if you want to improve your life, seeking out teachers, philosophers, and great books is a good start. But this approach will only be effective if you're humble and ready to let go of opinions you already have.