Random ramblings of a writer

4 years 11 months ago #338513 by Atania Kenobi
here's the first one I wrote a few months ago right before an English test. It has it's darker moments but it gets a little bit better.

Here you gave me this grime,
Made it stuck in my mind but it is no game.
Yet you say that I can not rhyme.
So, it’s about time.

Well I may not be good at rhyming
So I will be on top soaring,
Yet I feel like I’m DOWNING,
Wait...I looked down upon my wet paper and that is still writing,
I am thinking….
Yes, I did after reading!
I did oh yes I did I was a RHYMING!
No longer FEARING,
But now, I think I’m FAINTING.

I wrote this one because I was freaking out because in class we were reading about Shakespeare and we had to know what a sonnet was and how to write it. So, I decided to write my anxieties down as a sonnet and make it have a good ending. Now this next story ( which isn't really all that short) was only written a few minutes ago. I was laying in bed and my depression hits me really hard at night when I get time to stop and finally 'breathe' I usually randomly ramble to my self to help me with slowing my processing and finally ease me into sleep. WHEEEELP! It's not happening tonight. So I wrote this.

As I hopelessly long for a breath of relief as my lungs fill up with a cold and tedious weight on my chest. I know not how I came to feel this dark and profound heartache, and it did my heart ached in agony, it screamed for relief as my lungs did. My back shivered from the frigid cold, my head swirled in gloom, my eyes stung from the dancing lights above me, but the lights seemed to fade from view. The chill engulfed me deeper and deeper into a dark dismal void and the pressure seemed to grow. I closed my eyes hoping for release, I reached my hand out to try and grab something, but there was nothing there. I saw no hope in moving, my body was stiff and sore from this darkness.
With my eyes closed, I thought of warmth, a bonfire, candlesticks, the sunlight. Then I felt a strange sensation of warm tingling, fuzzy euphoria within my breasts. I had little hope of relief but I reached my hand out one last time…I waited. Everything was numb the coldness of the water obscured my ability to feel, and the only sound I could hear was the swish of the moving water. My hair brushed lightly over my cheek as I descended further into the darkness, I was ready to accept my fate as a dark end no light, no hope.
Then a warm fleshy feeling gripped my outstretched hand and yanked. I felt the heavy burdens lift from my chest and off of my heart, I squinted my eyes for me to behold the dancing lights that I had thought was gone grew closer, but there was a dark shadow just in front of my eyes. Was this death? Was this the flash of light that people say they see before they die? The water left my body cold and limp, but the air refreshed it once again. I hacked up what seemed like gallons of water from my lungs and my head still spun with confusion, but my heart no longer held the adrenaline or the weight of death. I finally had relief from my burdens, my fears, the cold, and the darkness. I could finally breathe easily and freely with the warmth of the sunlight to heal me.

I left the ending on a cliffhanger in a way because a part of the reason I wanted to share this is that depression and anxieties hit other people differently at different times, and I did my best to leave my audience hanging so they may perhaps be inspired to finish the story to their on path, their life. I hope you enjoyed this aand I hope I can now go get some sleep. Good night everyone!

Knight of the Order
My Journals- IP / Apprentice / Personal
House of Orion
Teaching Master- Zero
”People are like flowers. We follow the way of heliotropism: the following and turning away from the light. From this, there is a diversity in the flowers some are large and small, tall and short, putrid and fragrant, yet in the end they bloom in their own time and in their own ways. Beauty in diversity and in yourself is for you alone to experience and to cherish.

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