Rants far and wide

Okay, I decided to put this here for lack of a better place.

Simple rules:


1. Anyone can post a rant.
2. Nobody can respond to another persons rant in this thread.
3. No rant can name a specific person.


I'll go first:

I am not a mind reader. I did what you said to do EXACTLY. If there is more criteria for how I shold handle situat9ions like that you need to tell me because it feels an awful lot like I am getting crapped on for trying to reach outside of my usual responsibilities to help. SOMETHING YOU DESPERATELY NEED. I don't stand there and listen to your drunken rants because it is entertaining...it is because I need information to take some of the load off your shoulders and SOBER GUY doesn't want to admit he can't handle it, let alone allow me to help. I swear to god it is like getting stabbed by a baby with a knife every time I try to change your diaper.

I know that I personally have advocated being mindful of the words we use to avoid hurting other's, but sometimes people can be SO RIDICULOUSLY OVER SENSITIVE!!!!!!! For crying out loud just assume that we didn't mean to offend you rather than the other way around. Even if you're wrong you'll be happier.

That does feel good.

Im uncomfortable with this, though I cant quite put my finger on why.

Goken wrote: I know that I personally have advocated being mindful of the words we use to avoid hurting other's, but sometimes people can be SO RIDICULOUSLY OVER SENSITIVE!!!!!!! For crying out loud just assume that we didn't mean to offend you rather than the other way around. Even if you're wrong you'll be happier.

Or they can always alienate guests by preventing them from commenting in specific forums by complaining since a few mem, er, "people" lack social skills...

We're not responding to other peoples rants here. Your welcome to PM each other all you like.

Good luck enforcing that rule...

So, this is a place to rant about whatever, but you don't want feedback or advice, or discussion on rants?
You want to shout and then?
You can express frustration and anger at anytime, in your journal or just scream it out aloud.
How exactly does this help? You personally or the people reading it?
This is not what should be done here, a rant area is just an excuse to give in to negative feelings and no offense but what church anywhere, would allow an area to be used in this way?
Personally I think it's a stupid idea
My rant !!!
Any feedback is welcome

Its about having a place to blow off steam. There are plenty of threads for intelligent discussion about personal problems people need help with.

Expressing frustration in and of itself is not a bad thing and the rules I set down were to prevent petty bickering and hurt feelings.

Oh, and the Temple lets people rant all over its forums all the time.

Well ... I don't know.

Would it really be so much different the the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem ? After all, it was stipulated "no names" and besides, it isn't necessarily limited to ranting 'about' things going on in the TotJO ...

This sort of thing could have the express benefit of showing others that we do indeed get stressed, frustrated, pissed off, scared, outraged, sad, and all the other things we try to cleverly express by bashing other people (not the best way, of course). There is something comforting in knowing that we are not alone in our suffering ; others suffer too. The 'reasons' underlying it may be diverse, but it is something that we all share.

Just remember -- basically all of these stresses we'll be vomiting up here have two basic questions at their root :

• "What am I afraid of ?"
• "Whose fault is it ?"

Go ahead and spleen away here ... But remember the rules. No name calling, no snarky-ness ... Okay ?

Betch'all can't do it ...

How's that for a rant ?

How exactly are you gonna enforce those rules?
And expressing frustration is fine, but without discussion or feedback nothing will change and those frustrations will just fester.

I have no authority to enforce rules..I'm not going to try anymore.

I ask as a courtesy.

If you see a problem you can help with, PM the person and discuss it with them.

Is that to much to ask?

Alexandre Orion wrote: Well ... I don't know.

Would it really be so much different the the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem ? After all, it was stipulated "no names" and besides, it isn't necessarily limited to ranting 'about' things going on in the TotJO ...

This sort of thing could have the express benefit of showing others that we do indeed get stressed, frustrated, pissed off, scared, outraged, sad, and all the other things we try to cleverly express by bashing other people (not the best way, of course). There is something comforting in knowing that we are not alone in our suffering ; others suffer too. The 'reasons' underlying it may be diverse, but it is something that we all share.

Just remember -- basically all of these stresses we'll be vomiting up here have two basic questions at their root :

• "What am I afraid of ?"
• "Whose fault is it ?"

Go ahead and spleen away here ... But remember the rules. No name calling, no snarky-ness ... Okay ?

Betch'all can't do it ...

How's that for a rant ?

You really suck the fun outta life, you know that don't you...

Ok. I’ve been mulling over how best to express this. And please bear in mind that I’m approaching this from both a professional AND personal perspective because my personal trigger response mechanism to stress is also anger.

On a basic level, the problem is that focusing on the "being angry", makes you angry. When you rant, one of two things might happen. It may be a sense of “flapping” as Jestor likes to call it, a release of excess energy that reduces the feeling of anger and irritations. (which frankly is more effective when done in physical activity rather than mental)

Or (and more commonly)

The process of ranting helps to strengthen the trigger/response mechanism about a particular topic. Essentially, the more you rant about a thing or topic, the more likely you are to get angry about it in the future because you’ve reinforced a thought pattern and its subsequent physiological and emotional response.

A study done last year at the Department of Human Development, University of Wisconsin on the rise of “ranting sites” stated “Decades of research have shown that venting, far from releasing anger, actually makes it worse. Not surprisingly, this study has shown that online ranting seems to increase anger and is associated with anger-related problems.”

From a personal perspective, being angry is more often than not my primary response when I feel out of control. Whether it’s when dealing with people (who are being dumbasses!) or circumstances (which really don’t friggen work for me!). The experience of being angry and ranting gives me a false sense that I’m “doing” something about it. Almost as though the significance of my anger is the same as taking action. And all it does is raise my cortisol and sensitize the trigger for the next time my mind recognizes a situation and puts it in the category of “getting pissed in 3…2…1..”

Which is why at the time, ranting feels good because youre “doing something” about it. But in the long term makes it easier to get angry, and less likely that you'll investigate the underlying issue.

I like what you said Bren
But you know what no one is listening.. Cause wouldn't want to upset people, let them rant.. Fuck it
This place is a fucking joke!!!!

Perfectly put Brenna. There are more constructive ways of dealing with emotions.

elizabeth wrote: I like what you said Bren
But you know what no one is listening.. Cause wouldn't want to upset people, let them rant.. Fuck it
This place is a fucking joke!!!!

Tee hee. irony.


I was just expressing why the thread makes me uncomfortable. No one needs to listen. If people want to be angry and rant I sure as hell am not going to try stop them. Id be something of a hypocrite if I did. And just because I'm working on resolving my anger responses, doesn't mean anyone else has to.

Brenna wrote: “... Not surprisingly, this study has shown that online ranting seems to increase anger and is associated with anger-related problems.”

That's probably because you don't get to throw things at people on the Internet. Trust me, if there were a universal law that forced you to install a USB-powered Nerf turret , a webcam, and remote trigger software with every Internet connection, I think this would no longer be the case. Imagine the healing power of being so angry at someone that their computer takes a picture of it shooting them in the nose with a foam dart and then emails it to you.

steamboat28 wrote:

Brenna wrote: “... Not surprisingly, this study has shown that online ranting seems to increase anger and is associated with anger-related problems.”

That's probably because you don't get to throw things at people on the Internet. Trust me, if there were a universal law that forced you to install a USB-powered Nerf turret , a webcam, and remote trigger software with every Internet connection, I think this would no longer be the case. Imagine the healing power of being so angry at someone that their computer takes a picture of it shooting them in the nose with a foam dart and then emails it to you.

Yeah, because violence fixes everything :whistle: :woohoo:


Also


I cant find the actual paper but, on this study...

" These results contradict any suggestion that hitting the punching bag would have beneficial effects because one might feel better after doing so (which is what advocates of catharsis often say). People did indeed enjoy hitting the punching bag, but this was related to more rather than less subsequent aggression toward a person…hitting a punching bag does not produce a cathartic effect: It increases rather than decreases subsequent aggression."

- Brad Bushman, Roy Baymeister and Angela Stack, from the study on catharsis

essentially "Catharsis will make you feel good, but it’s an emotional hamster wheel. The emotion which led you to catharsis will still be there afterward, and if it made you feel good, you’ll seek it out again in the future."

steamboat28 wrote:

Brenna wrote: “... Not surprisingly, this study has shown that online ranting seems to increase anger and is associated with anger-related problems.”

That's probably because you don't get to throw things at people on the Internet. Trust me, if there were a universal law that forced you to install a USB-powered Nerf turret , a webcam, and remote trigger software with every Internet connection, I think this would no longer be the case. Imagine the healing power of being so angry at someone that their computer takes a picture of it shooting them in the nose with a foam dart and then emails it to you.

*Giggles*

Personally I am not a fan of basing human emotion and behaviors on "Studies" For some people it may not be helpful and may just cause more problems. For me, It is a wonderful release to simply spit out whats troubling me in a safe and supportive environment and then let me move on. I think it is more harmful to stagnant yourself and your emotions rather than constructively letting it go.

Conversly however I do not feel putting it in an open thread like this is wise. Does anyone remember what it was like to keep online Journals? I sure do....It got me into more trouble than was worth and the constructive outlet turned not so constructive.

This is a church isn't it? With supposed bishops and Religious heads, yes? So why not open up a "Confessions" e-mail where you can constructively rant out your troubles to someone supposedly certified to handle such things?