Care fatigue, i had never heard of it until a burn out completely turned my life upside down. It not only was very inconvenient but it also made me realise that the image that was assigned to me was beginning to fade and that my body and soul were warning me to take better care of myself. I began to resent people trying to put caring tasks on me and i felt an overwhelming desire to pack my bags and move to Mars. Everyone who has been taking care of people or animals for a very long period of time knows that after a very long time of ignoring the warning signs , our bodies make sure we will take care of ourselves first. For as long as i can remember i was taking care of someone or something starting very early in my youth. Its not that the love is gone or that there is resentment for the ones that were being taken care off. It's more a realization that if you don't take good care of yourself , after a while or long while you cannot take care of others. Most nurses i know work only part time for this reason. Taking care of others is hard work and it's beautiful work and you need to be in a good health and calm mind to keep doing so. So when someone offered me a cat to care for , I kindly declined, with pain in my heart that is.
Care fatigue is a state of emotional and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged caregiving or support, where the motivation to care diminishes. This can lead to a need for rest and setting boundaries. The last 2 years of taking care of mum were extremely hard and it was almost impossible to set boundaries and still take time to go on little trips even. The lucky thing for me was that my family stepped in more when they saw i was getting exhausted and not everyone is so lucky. And when she died there was grief and relief at the same time. No need to feel guilty about the relief btw , its a natural feeling after a period of intense pain.
So life went on and then my cat got run over by a car. To say i was devasted is an understatement. The emotions overwhelmed me. Why was i so sad all of a sudden? What was different from when mum died? I will tell you , all of a sudden i had nothing to take care of anymore. Apart from worrying about my daughter's health , she is a grown woman and likes to remind me of that. All of a sudden , i was alone , only me to take care of and you know what ? I had no clue how to do that. So I started learning to do that. My health , work and progress are my first priority now for a while. I work out , study the Force and go out to do fun stuff with friends and family.
One can not pour from an empty cup , so may the Force be with you Jedi , and fill your cup before you take care of others
