Help with depression

I've been suffering from depression for years now. Since my grandfather (who practically raised me as a kid) passed right before I went into the 6th grade. I've tried many things to help me with my symptoms. I've tried therapy, medicine, even some homeopathic remedies. None have helped me, has anyone else gone through this, and if so how did you end up defeating depression?

The first big thing to know is that everyone has depression for different reasons, So what works for one person may not work for the next, or it might if its something similar.

For me personally, it came down to the first step of being self-aware of it. Figure out why your depressed. While a lot of people who are depressed don't know why, those that do are aware, but just don't feel they can address it or do anything about it.

For me I knew what was causing my depression(and though I'd love to explain it, its awfully personal and I try and keep it to me and very close friends), but I didn't feel like I would ever be able to do what was needed to get out of it. I was trapped in a world of if only I had xyz, and no way of getting xyz, so I'll sit here and pine over wishing I had xyz.

One day after awhile I just simply decided to create a new need, rather then xyz I'm just gonna spend my time doing one of the other things I've always wanted to do which is my new found career in helping others, and after it really sunk in that xyz wasn't an important need in my life, it changed for the better. After my mood improved and confidence came back and I wasn't hiding in my apartment anymore, xyz came into my life anyway and everything just worked out.

The majority of depression that I had dealt with, the thing that was constantly beating me back, again personally was being self aware of what my problems were, but choosing to sulk and not deal with them, and then the difficulty of trying to overcome the desire to sulk as it was almost a sick pleasure to be lonely and recessed and hidden from the world so to speak. It wasn't till I overcame that, that again for me personally I realized its very much a choice. It's a choice to sit back and be in that state, or to get up move get passed it and embrace what life is to us today. Because of the depression it doesn't look like an easy choice by any means but once I did it, I couldn't believe how easy it actually was, that its the depression that makes it look more difficult then it is.

I know it sounds kinda simple but that's what worked for me. I know that's not how it works for everyone else(had many debates on that subject), and it may not work for you, but through others' insights you might find clues to the path your looking for. A number of people have dealt with depression here on these forums, either with others or themselves I'm sure more guidance will pop in, in time.

Gannon0217 wrote: I've been suffering from depression for years now. Since my grandfather (who practically raised me as a kid) passed right before I went into the 6th grade. I've tried many things to help me with my symptoms. I've tried therapy, medicine, even some homeopathic remedies. None have helped me, has anyone else gone through this, and if so how did you end up defeating depression?

lift weights

find a sport or martial art you like, and get as good at it as you can

learn to play a musical instrument

also, find a way to volunteer somewhere

anywhere

plan for your battle against depression to be a two year project - that is to say, dont worry about beating depression

youre not going to be able to do that particularly so dont waste your energy trying to, or feeling bad that you havent

i would even say allow yourself to be depressed if thats how you feel

but for the next two years, be very dedicated to working out on a regular schedule, and getting really good at judo or football (personally i recommend a martial art like judo or jiu jitsu because it develops a skill set that will be useful for the rest of your life, whereas football really wont unless you make it a career, but thats just my opinion, you can figure skate for all it really matters, the important things are that its really physical and that you like it) and playing the drums or the guitar - or whatever instrument you choose - and finding some kind of volunteer work that youre good at and that you enjoy

i promise that if you spend the next two years like this you will have a lot to be happy about

I got out of my severe anxiety and depression by running and cycling. You need to find something that makes you happy, something that you look forward to doing. Whatever you do, make sure you keep it up as most people do fall back into depression at some stage in their life.

I'm going to "me too" everything which has been said here and add some tips of my own....

Distraction can be helpful, but ultimately it's just that, a distraction. That's why people are telling you to get out and try to live your life to the fullest.

Please develop a network of understanding people you can talk to regularly. Have people on speed dial for those times when you need someone to talk to.

Definitely going to echo the sentiments about allowing yourself to be depressed some times. You won't get through missing your grandfather by telling yourself you don't miss him or turning off your emotions every time you feel them.

there are some great ideas here. but i think at root, most of the people i speak with (i work in mental health field for the past 6 years) suffer most of all from a lack of a sense of purpose. some can fill this with volunteering, or caring for a family member, or even a pet. some need more. but after all is said and done, we all need to feel like we are useful. like we belong somewhere. and like we are making the world better in some way.

how exactly YOU do that is entirely up to you. everyones answers are different. but sit down, meditate, think hard about it.

what is your purpose?

While I know that depression isn't sadness nor grief, here's a couple of links from the temple that might be worth exploring anyway...

https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/Health-physical-fitness-and-wellbeing/111463-accepting-our-sadness-melancholy#202182

https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/open-discussions/106975-happiness-is-a-choice?limitstart=0&start=30

I also saw this from another thread: it might not be for you but here goes anyway...

The science behind the site (www.happify.com/) is as follows...

1. That the brain we're born with can be changed. Technically speaking, they call that neuroplasticy. (You can teach an old brain new tricks.)

2. We can change it by adopting new thought patterns, by training our brain as if it were a muscle, to overcome negative thoughts.

3. All of us are hard-wired for negativity (blame evolution!) but can profoundly benefit from learning new ways to react and deal with everyday stresses.

4. It doesn't take a lot of effort to make a real difference in your life. A few simple and even entertaining mental diversions will change things.

And finally- a TED talk that I haven't seen in a while but remember that I found touching at the time...

http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share/transcript?language=en

I think you're on the right path in asking the question- just explore and try some ideas and then find out for yourself if something works or not... Ask more questions and express what you find out when you're ready to- we can listen at the very least,

Firstly, and this will seem disheartening at the moment, rid yourself of the notion that depression is something to be "defeated." Just for now, for the next few moments, accept that it is a part of you, a portion of what makes you who you are, and not some sickness to vanquish. Rather than treating it like a cold or the flu, where we manage symptoms until we're "over it," depression is much more like a disability; getting rid of it isn't really an option. You can't "defeat" it in any long-term sense in much the same way you couldn't "defeat" paralysis or amputation. You'll have to deal with it your whole life.

Now, having said that, it's important you understand that the previous paragraph isn't (in reality) grim and hopeless at all. In fact, it's actually a very inspiring and hopeful realization. Once you understand that it isn't something you can simply beat, once-and-for-all, you lose the sense of failure that comes with trying to destroy your depression. You stop feeling like you're useless, or you aren't trying hard enough, or nothing works, because you stop seeing your end goal as the utter destruction of your condition. Instead, you reframe it: rather than "beating" depression, we'll learn to live with it. We'll learn to cohabit the same body with our depression, in much the same way that we co-habit our body with our mind, or our heart. We stop seeing our failure to win the war, and we start seeing all the small victories we make each day, from getting out of bed to going out to be with friends to eating all the meals we're supposed to during the day.

That kind of reframing has been very helpful to me. By concentrating on living with my depression, I've started to see all these tiny victories that I never noticed before. It has given me something positive to focus on rather than the negatives of my failure to completely abolish a chronic medical condition. It gives you an opportunity to learn that while depression is harmful and hateful and mean, that we can still exist in the same place with it without losing. Very much like the river reed cannot "defeat" the wind once and for all, it can survive it every time it blows. So, too, with us.

This is very difficult to reply. It's such a personal thing. How every individual feels is unique and deeply intimate but you are not alone! Keep reaching out to people, be with people, feel their support, people will be and are there for you.

You're entitled to your feelings please don't be obsessive about them, like I do, let them go, they will pass.

When I'm down I practice "laughter is the best medicine". I watch funny shows, movies and read joke books.

My best thoughts are with you.

I planned my suicide everyday for 11 years, and luckily I only ever made one attempt. For me personally, my depression was strongly linked to struggling with issues related to gender identity. What didn't help things at all was not being able to figure out that was what was going on. But having figured that out, and taken steps to be myself, i have gotten better. It has been about 3 years since I last planned my suicide.

That being said; not everyday has been a cake walk. In fact some have been super shitty. The day my dad disowned me was one of the worst. But on a whole, life is better.

For me it took a lot of self exploration, therapy, and drugs just to survive depression. I can't say I ever beat it, I just endured. So don't give up, there is hope, even a tiny bit, no matter how dark it is. I know it doesn't seem like it, but there is, cling to it desperately.


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