In my time here at the Temple, I have shared how I resonate deeply with Ahsoka Tano. Even my name is a combination of her name and Morai (the bird that begins to follow her during The Clone Wars). The biggest lesson I learned from her entire arc was the confidence to forge who you want to be outside of expectations and structures.
Ahsoka's story begins as a youngling being brought to the Temple after her Togruta tribe discovered her force sensitivity. She then was assigned as padawan to Anakin Skywalker at the beginning of The Clone Wars. In the season 5 finale, “The Wrong Jedi”, Ahsoka is finally deemed innocent after it was shown that Bariss was the true perpetrator of bombing the Jedi Temple. In an emotional confrontation with Anakin, she says “The Council didn't trust me, so how can I trust myself?” She is face to face with the betrayal of everything she ever knew. The rules, the structures, the expectations, the life she had imagined for herself. How could she rebuild after hitting this rock bottom? So she leaves. She tells Anakin that she has “to sort this out on my own. Without the Council… and without you.”
For me, Jediism is about introspection; it is about turning inward and looking at the root of my beliefs, my thoughts, and my actions. I had lived my life in the way I thought was expected of me: as a daughter, as a sister, as a student, as a worker, as a wife, as a Christian, as a jedi, etc. I had no idea who I was without the labels. That is what Jediism, my apprenticeship with Master Zero, and therapy gave me. It gave me the space to step away from everything I knew and ask myself: who am I? Just as Ashoka did when faced with the betrayal of the system that she had given everything to.
Turning to our Doctrine, we see many teachings and maxims that allow us to focus on these ideas. Teaching 5 tells us “Jedi comprehend that we are beings of thought, feeling, and will, who flourish within the Force through self-aware action and lifelong learning”. Teaching 9 tells us “The Jedi maintain integrity, our individuated wholeness”. Both of these teachings relate to that choice Ahsoka had to make. Was she going to continue to develop into the best version of herself, that integrity version of herself, if she stayed? Maxim 4 of Dedication and Maxim 9 of Agency play back to this idea as well. Ahsoka had to be dedicated to herself and choose her personal agency over the agency of the Order that had turned away from her. Have you faced an event similar to Ahsoka? How can you begin to incorporate these teachings into your own life?
In Season 7, we find Ahsoka living in the lower levels of Corusant working as a mechanic. She is hiding from the Jedi and working to navigate rebuilding. This is my favorite version of Ahsoka: jumpsuit Ahsoka. She gets swept into an adventure with the Martez sisters and says to Trace: "In my life, when you find people who need your help, you help them. No matter what. I guess it's just who I am”. Ahsoka has begun to define herself by analyzing what she actually believes and thinks now that she has distanced herself from the structure that told her all these things for her. I see this as her personal mission statement. It is the “thing” that guides her every belief and action. There are many teachings and maxims focused on helping others. I think the Meditation for Jedi being the most comprehensive example.
Where there is hatred I shall bring love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
I shall never seek so much to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
What beliefs have you fully taken into yourself? How do you define yourself (labels aside)? What is your personal mission statement?
As we move into the Ahsoka series, in Episode 5, Anakin gives her a choice: Live or die. By choosing to live, she rejects her past trauma, overcomes the choice of the dark side, and carves a legacy for herself outside of Anakin's fall and her rejection from the Order. “I choose to live”. Ahsoka has every reason to give up and turn bitter, but as her personal mission statement says, she chooses to help. She chooses to become “Ahsoka the White”, the version of herself that she has created, the version of herself that she wants to be. The version I see is one of the most powerful. After all that she lost and all the trauma she endured, she gets up each and every day and decides to do what is right. Find the pieces of the Doctrine that validate this for you. Which pieces align with the mission statement you have defined? What choices do you need to start making today to bring this version of yourself to light?
“The thing is to understand myself: the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die. That is what I now recognize as the most important thing.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
We must strip away what we think is true, what we have been told is true, and we must find for ourselves what is true. The Jedi Order is a herd mentality. Ahsoka leaving opened her up to her individual mentality. I encourage you to find your own character that resonates with you. What are the lessons that can be learned from them? Can you connect these lessons to the Doctrine? Can you defend these truths and do you KNOW they are accurate?
