Belonging

Good call, bringing in Gibran. Genius of a man, him.
I enjoyed rereading this and I suspect I'll be spending time with The Prophet at the weeknd.

We are human. We are not "all good" or "all evil". We are not all light or dark. We are a blend of all we have experienced both good and bad. We are also creatures of choice, and we change over time. What may have us feeling like we belong one day may change another. "Belonging" is within yourself, not a place or group of people.

You don't even have to choose one side of yourself over the other. You can find balance and walk what you feel is your light and shadow. And then you find people who accept you for who you are and support you.

For me, and for what I feel will be for a good while, this is where I find many kinds of people with many different backgrounds and beliefs. And even so, we find support and growth together.

Only you can know for you. But here you are not judges by a label, or at all really. This is a pretty open door kind of place where you are always welcome.

Identity is a difficult thing to grapple with.

I don't know if this will help any, but maybe it will. There are several Old Guard members that are going through this. I know of at least 4 that are struggling to find a place they can belong within the Jedi Community and trying to take up training roles within it to do so. And several others who have returned thinking they could find something from the past, only to discover that the community has moved in a direction they didn't want to follow. Those people are still trying to process where they fit into the world.

A lot of that has occurred in the last year, year and a half. I know your struggle has been going on for far longer. But you're not alone.

Streen wrote: I'm not sure if there's a better place to put this, but I need to discuss some things openly.

To be quite honest, I'm not sure where I belong anymore. I used to come here quite often. I felt I was a Jedi, until things happened in my life that drove me toward the dark. I spent some time with the Sith, but eventually felt like I didn't belong there either. I'm a bit too dark for the Jedi, and a bit too light for the Sith.

I really just don't know where to go to talk about this sort of thing. I want to be the good guy, but sometimes I just feel like I don't care. Maybe it's just because I feel like I can't do anything to change things for the better, and I feel powerless.

I'd rather be a Jedi than a Sith. I'd rather be good than bad. Hell, my dark side ain't very dark anyway.

If you have any advice, I am all ears.

Hi Streen, good to see ya back again. One can never really stray for ones path.
The level of evolvement is always up to the individual at any time. One day my eyes may dim and my efforts may change but I will always be Jedi by choice. The light and the dark of things can take on many forms and ideas. If I may, ever think of things as known and unknown? No light and dark just how much do you know? There was a time, when I was so broken hearted, love wasn't much... of a friend of mine, till I did something about it. That first part is a song but I hope you understand. This journey of self reflection can be a tough one and it may be as if you are alone. There are things only you can define and understand. This is that feeling of alone for me sometimes but...
To be self sufficient usually means no one else is around. Part of the gig. Choosing character is usually a Solo act, SW pun intended. To seek a modern day Jedi like character is as illusive as finding a Lego Death Star in its original box. They are out there but rare. Where would we even begin to look?

I tell many people in life that there can be some times in life we have to make our own place to stand. I know when I first started my Jedi path I was and felt alone. Still am but here's the thing, now I help those make their own way. There is a old saying and sometimes it actually helps me, be the change. The alone does go away and gets redefined in the process of things. It changes when you add the Force. It grows into something else like a connection. You would be surprised at some connections you realize you share when you look off the screen and on your path. Please continue. If ever you feel like you need to holla or even just gripe complain or swear out, call me up my friend. I am around as always and am willing to serve those who continue to be here. May the Force " continue" to be with you
Pastor Carlos

After three failed apprenticeships, and twice as many hiatuses; I've learned to treat the community as a way of life, rather than an answer to it.

I remember in high school being all about tripp pants and slipknot; however now prefer Chillhop and slouch beanies. Our identities are continuously evolving and changing, and in foolishness we identify the items of our fleeting interest as somehow foundational to who we are.

Don't beat yourself up too much over it.

We should be wary of labels we place on others, but even more on ourselves. I took on the label of Dark Aspect 20 years ago and found that many, many years and lifetimes of experiences later, it no longer fit me. It was a realization that was slow because the things I wanted to do (teach, lead, help) seemed to fit it but it was in the completely wrong direction. People change.

So as others have said, I will echo: don't worry about the labels. Live from your heart and not what others define in boxes. Be your authentic self and look for what fits that. Be prepared to put one thing on a shelf for a while when it doesn't fit, and take on something else. I think if you are authentic inside, then this kind of seeking for what matches on the outside is a natural and worthwhile journey.

Well you've all given consistent answers, so it's pretty clear where I've made an error.

I used to think the same way, actually, that I shouldn't place labels on myself or define my life to one extreme or another. It's funny, after thinking that way for so long (at least 10 or 15 years) I feel like I need some sort of definition. I need to know who and what I am. I guess it's just part of getting older. I'm 40 now. Maybe it's one of those mid-life crises I hear so much about.

I feel alone, and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I think I'd much rather be a part of this group than any other. It feels... better. It's not perfect, though. I just get the sensation that I'm more welcome here.

I've been a Jedi now for longer than I haven't, if that makes sense. 1996 was a hell of a year. I found myself longing for those times again, when studying the Force was a new thing, and being a Jedi was rare. There was more mystery in those days. But I know I can't turn the clock back, and I have to accept that.

Looking toward the future though, I hope I can find some of that mystery again.

I reckon there's still plenty of wonder and mystery to be had, if you stay open to it

I couldn't agree more with River. There is plenty of awe and wonder still left in all of this. Just because we have discovered so much about Jediism, energy work, qigong, holistic medicine, etc. doesn't mean that it is a complete thing! There is still so much left to learn, and our discovery can continue every single day. Hell that discovery can come in the form of you figuring out each day how you connect with something different like that tree, like that rock, the ground we stand on, the air we breathe, the person on the street, and just rediscovering the magic of that interconnection. What a great way to re-awaken that sense of newness and wonder ya know? The mantra I like is "I am other." I just say it when i'm out and about feeling sad, disconnected, and depressed. It helps me to realize that i'm more connected than I think, and it helps me feel that energetic connection that we are all sharing constantly.

You're in the right place my fine sir! If you ever want to get to know one another more, or have someone to talk to, my DM's are always open! Kudos to you for sticking it out and wanting to continue pushing forth in your own personal growth!

It's been a long time since I felt that mystery, that newness, that novelty. Not that I know everything, I just haven't learned anything fresh for quite a while. If anyone can provide something like that, I'm open to it.

On another note, I think I've figured out what and who I am. I've been thinking about it ever since I started this thread. But I'm not going to say what that is, because that would limit me in others' eyes, so to speak. The label I'm using for myself is personal, and it's somewhat related to the past, to my training back in the 90's. It sort of balances out my light and dark sides.

Thanks for your help everyone