Journal of the Whills
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Arisaig wrote: So do you plan on making these robes? (always loved the look of Chirrut's garb) and if so, would they just be for certain use, or do you plan on going daily with these things?
I considered it, making my own. I also considered buying them (only found them in one place), but the novelty of the whole idea is wearing off. I don't think this "guardians of the whills" thing was right for me. It felt nice to follow that fad, but feeling good isn't the goal.
Instead of wearing some kind of special robes, I'd rather wander the Earth in regular clothes, "hiding" in plain sight. How does the saying go? "Clothes do not make the man"?
I say this for a very particular reason. Part of it is because of something that happened to me in highschool. My history teacher used the word "inconspicuous", and one kid asked what it meant. After the teacher explained, he asked the kid if he knew of anyone who was inconspicuous. He pointed directly at me, and said "Him!"
I can't tell you how happy I was to hear that. I never liked drawing attention to myself, and to know that I was accomplishing that without trying was incredibly satisfying. It told me who I was, that I could walk into a crowd and disappear, allowing me to do what is necessary without being noticed. Which is why you won't see me wearing special clothes to symbolize what I am. My average, normal, regular clothing state something far more important: humility.
Not to say "I am humble!", since that would be a contradiction, or a paradox. Instead, I simply be myself, whether that means I'm humble or not. I don't really care. Does that make sense?
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This all came to me last night as I laid in bed, having trouble sleeping because something was bothering me, gnawing at me. I was conflicted about my participation here, who I was, etc. Am I a Jedi? A Taoist? A Christian? A Guardian? I had no answers. I realized something that had been drilled into me for years now: Life is not about knowing; it's about choosing. So I made a choice. I may not know if I'm a Guardian, but I can choose to be one.
This morning I found a replica of Îmwe's staff and purchased it. I figure that next month I'll purchase the robes. I need to stop pretending. Some might say that my Guardian attire could be considered pretending, but no, I've been pretending to be someone else my entire life. Never admitting to what I really am. I've pretended to be a Christian, a Taoist, a Jedi... it seems "Guardian" describes me best. I've decided to follow my heart. Any time I do it's the only time I feel whole, and I stop pretending to be someone I'm not.
If you've read all this, then thank you for your patience and your understanding.
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Street wrote: This morning I found a replica of Îmwe's staff and purchased it. I figure that next month I'll purchase the robes. I need to stop pretending. Some might say that my Guardian attire could be considered pretending, but no, I've been pretending to be someone else my entire life. Never admitting to what I really am. I've pretended to be a Christian, a Taoist, a Jedi... it seems "Guardian" describes me best. I've decided to follow my heart. Any time I do it's the only time I feel whole, and I stop pretending to be someone I'm not.
If you've read all this, then thank you for your patience and your understanding.
Oh I understand the feeling. Being a Jedi without robes almost feels like pretending at times, when some may argue wearing robes makes it pretending. When you're wearing them, you have little choice but to be a Jedi, even if in pretend for cosplay or in real life Jediism. Not to say I would wear them always (it gets damn hot sometimes ;p) but I would love the option of wearing them for events, Knightings, and meditation. Makes all this a little more real, even if just to myself.
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I imagine it'll feel much like how I first put on my Jedi robes I sewed when I was about 20 years old, though those were poorly made to be honest. The Guardian robes will be professional, and were surprisingly not extremely expensive (though I know that term is relative).
If anyone else is interested, here is the link to the staff:
Staff
I'd post the link to the costume, but apparently it doesn't currently exist. Not sure why.
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