Emotions are mental reactions, subjectively experienced as strong feelings, typically accompanied by physiological and behavioural changes in the body. A strong emotion can deeply impact us and how we view the things that happen to us, for better or worse. Consider what happens in your body as you feel anger or joy and you will notice that emotions impact our daily lives in ways that we are not consciously aware of. Our actions can be influenced by our emotions for better or worse- hence the need for emotional intelligence. Complete all of the assignments below.
1: Dysfunctional Thoughts
In this lessonyou are going to explore your feelings about emotions. Consider your own personally held assumptions or thoughts regarding emotion and record them in your journal. Refer to the table below for reference and include any that may resonate with you:
If I lose control of my emotions in front of others, they will think less of me.
I should be able to control my emotions
If I let myself feel this emotion, I will become overwhelmed by it.
If I tell others how I feel, they will use it against me.
If I tell others how I feel, they will think I am weak.
Other people don’t feel this way. There must be something wrong with me.
Only an immature person would get so emotional.
I should be able to cope with difficulties on my own without turning to others for support
To be acceptable to others, I must keep any difficulties or negative feelings to myself
This emotional state is not a normal response; I have to get rid of it.
That person responded differently than I did, therefore my emotional reaction is wrong.
If I let myself feel this pain, it will kill me.
Letting myself feel bad would mean falling to pieces, being a total mess, or wallowing in self-pity.
If I show signs of weakness then others will reject me.
Being an adult means not getting carried away by emotion; I’m supposed to be rational!
Showing my emotions to others makes me look like a “drama queen.”
I’m stupid for feeling this way. I should just suck it up!
I should not let myself give in to these feelings.
I can control all of my emotions.
Dysfunctional thoughts like these are counter-intuitive to the emotional intelligence that we need to be able to wield as Jedi. By being mindful of maladaptive patterns of thought, we increase the opportunity to replace them with authentic emotions in a way that serves the world. Consider the negative thoughts associated with emotions and explore the consequences you have personally experienced by holding such beliefs. Have they by and large been beneficial? If not, how have they been detrimental? How can we work through them and what sort of positive thoughts can we remind ourselves of when those thoughts come?
2: Self-Reflection
This lesson involves focusing on understanding your own emotions. For one week, take some time out of your day to examine how you are feeling, consider what caused you to feel that way, and identify how you are expressing that feeling. You may answer this by using the mood meter found here: https://www.ps120q.org/mood-meter If you would like to change the emotion, explore some ways you might reframe how you think about, or relate to, it. Or use this time to simply experiment with balancing your emotions by letting them settle and/or exploring their complement. Record your results in your journal here in the Temple.
3: Support Networks
Remember, we are not the only one’s dealing with negative feelings, thoughts, or emotions. People in our circles are as well, and we can be a source of healing for them – but we first need to be aware of ourselves. During this, consider who is in your support network, and whose support networks you are in. Who can you share your raw emotion with without any masks? Arrange an opportunity to talk with them about their experience(s) with any of the earlier identified dysfunctional thought patterns. Record your dialogue in your journal.
4: Emotional Intelligence Essay
After finishing the first two assignments, write a review of 500+ words in your journal detailing what you have learned about emotional intelligence, developing emotional awareness, and how this will help you on your path in the future.
In this lesson you'll be working on creating the habit of meditation. For each day meditate for a specific time frame of your choosing. Make a note of your meditations in your journal. Once you feel you have created a solid habit, please speak to me. We will have a dialogue.
This is the next Introductory lesson for apprentices under my care.
Interview 3 people who are Knights inside of the Temple and interview 3 people who are Knights outside of the Temple/Offline. Compare perspectives. Compare/contrast with your own path/understanding of Knighthood
This is the Second of Introductory Lessons for apprentices under my care. It concerns our ideas about Knighthood. Please compose a 750 word write up about what comes to your mind when you hear the word Knight. For this exercise, please refrain from researching or speaking to others concerning Knighthood (as those exercises will come later). Also, don't think about whether what you write is "right" or "wrong". Please just write about the idea as you understand it.
Objectives
Instructions:
There are three ways to complete this lesson:
1. One can read the book "Start with Why"
2. You can watch this short Ted Talk: Link
3. You can read the summary below: At the end of please complete the reflection questions below:
Introduction: Why Start with Why
“Great leaders inspire people to act. They give people a sense of purpose or belonging. For those who are inspired, the motivation to act is deeply personal; they are willing to pay a premium or endure inconvenience, even personal suffering. Those who are able to inspire create a following of people who act for the good of the whole, not because they have to, but because they want to.”
Part 1: A World that Doesn’t Start With Why
We make assumptions about the world around us based on incomplete or false information and our behavior is affected by our assumptions and perceived truths. Both bad and good decisions can be made on false information or assumptions. Many people lead based on assumptions.
There are two different ways which we can lead:
- When faced with a problem we can engineer several short term solutions
- We can build, recruit and create based on the original intention, the vision, the “why”.
There are several ways in which we can be manipulated in the offline which have a corollary in our own training
- Price (reduce the risk)
- Promotion (increase the reward)
- Fear (insinuate that someone is not, cannot be (blank) if they don’t do this
- Aspiration (rest on an ideal (of Knighthood, perhaps))
- Peer Pressure
- Novelty Inject something “new”
By having too many people manipulated by the above, what was once a mission (why) becomes a commodity (what). These manipulations do not create the loyalty that is important for the continuation of the mission (why)
Part 2: An Alternative Perspective
We are introduced here to something called the golden circle
This is how we typically consider our purpose. For this I will the Temple
What: We train Jedi
How: We use an academic and practical program which is at times done individually and at times one on one
Why: Here is where we get fuzzy. It’s primarily because our “why” is often individualized. For example, my why is that Jediism is for everyone according to the Doctrine. Our statement of belief states that we believe In the positive influence of spiritual growth and awareness on society.
If we were to just flip the information, according to Sinek, we end up with a more impactful message. For example:
We believe in the positive influence of spiritual growth and awareness on society, therefore we use an academic and practical program which is both individual and one on one mentorship to train Jedi.
But it’s not enough to flip the information. Starting with why lets us put the how and the what to a litmus test. The how and the what should be tangible proofs of the why.
As social creatures, we have a need to belong. Our “belonging” has been key to our survival as a species. “When we feel like we belong, we feel connected and safe”
“We are drawn to leaders and organizations that are good at communicating what they believe. Their ability to make us feel like we belong, to make us feel special, safe, and and not alone is part of what gives them the ability to inspire us”
Our brain was formed from the inside to the outside. Our neocortex is the space responsible for language, but our limbic brain is where we make our (so called) gut decisions. The limbic brain is an emotional center, but it produces the decisions that feel right and it drives behavior. The easiest way to explain this is: we make our decision in the limbic brain and justify it (using language) in the neocortex.
Forcing people to make decisions based on facts and figures produces overthinking and poorer decisions. A failure to communicate “why” produces stress.
“[Organizations] with a clear sense of why give people a way to tell the outside world who they are and what they believe”
“If the leader of the organization can’t clearly articulate WHY the organization exists in terms beyond its products or services, then how does he expect the employees to know WHY they come to work.”
“How we do things manifests in the systems and processes within the organization and culture.”
For values or guiding principles to be truly effective they have to be verbs. Its not “integrity” its “always do the right thing”. It’s not “innovation” its “look at the problem from a different angle”
“The only way people will know what you believe is by the things you say and do and if you are not consistent in the things you say and do, no one will know what you believe”
Authenticity is a natural by-product of clarity of why. The individual why and collective why (of the organization) must match
Gut decisions are good decisions but they are not scalable. We cannot, for example, suggest everyone go with their gut without clearly articulating a collective why. A collective why allows for the litmus test mentioned earlier to happen all throughout the organization.
Part 3: Leaders Need a Following
“Trust begins to emerge when we have a sense that another person or organization is driven by things other than their own self gain”
Measure (put your stake in, consider important) what people can actually control and what they can win/lose together.
“[An organization] is a culture. A group of people brought together around a common set of values and beliefs. The goal is to [attract] people who believe what you believe.” Attract attitude, teach skills”.
“The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas, but to create an environment in which great ideas can happen”
“[Organizations] with a clear sense of “why” ignore their competition. with a fuzzy sense of “why” are obsessed with their competition.”
“If people aren’t looking out for the community, then the benefits of a community erode”.
“Only when individuals can trust the culture or organization will they take personal risks in order to advance that culture or organization as a whole. For no other reason than, in the end, it’s good for their own personal health and survival.
“For those within a community or an organization, they must trust that their leaders provide a net-practical or emotional. With that feeling of support, those in the organization are more likely to put in extra effort that ultimately benefits the group as a whole.”
“Great organizations become great because the people inside the organization feel protected.”
“Earning the trust of an organization doesn’t come from setting out to impress everyone, it comes from setting out to serve those who serve…”
Say you have a population you want to reach represented by a typical bell curve
Your first 2.5% are going to be innovators. Being first is central to their lives and the pursue new ideas on that basis. They are they idea generators
Your next 13.5% are early adopters. Though they will grab on to a new idea, they are less likely to create new ideas.
Your next 34% are early majority followed by 34% who are the late majority and the laggards at 16%
Between your early adapters and your early majority is your “tipping point”.
About 16% of people you want to attract will be attracted by your “why”, the rest will be influenced by them talking about it
Now, you must be asking “what does this have to do with TOTJO or me? Nothing if we consider training on an individual level, but if we want to attract people to our ideas whether inside of the Temple as part of the organizational leadership or outside of the Temple if you want your own actions for work, school, home life, etc” to attract the right sort of people, you need to be aware of the tipping point.
Those that can get you over the tipping point will be attracted by your “why”.
“Your role in the process is to be crystal clear about what purpose, cause, or belief you exist to champion, and to show how [what you do helps] advance the cause”
Part 4: How to Rally Those Who Believe
Start with Why, but know how’
“Charisma has nothing to do with energy; it comes from a clarity of WHY. It comes from absolute conviction in an ideal bigger than oneself.”
Amplify the source of inspiration.
Our golden circle can also be seen as a pyramid
The cone represents the organization. The “why”, usually embodied by a figurehead (in the book people like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Sam Walton serve as examples) exemplifies the why by their presence, by their actions, by their speech. The “how” is senior leadership who are inspired by the “why” and know how to bring it to life.
We can have a vision, but without people inspired to bring it to life, it flounders
Why people are visionaries and optimists with overactive imaginations who believe that everything they imagine can come to life
How people are more here and now, realists and are capable of seeing the practical.
Most people are how types
There is a difference between a vision statement and a mission statement. Vision statements are focused on a future that does not exist yet (why). The mission statement is a description of the route to get there (how)
Clarity of purpose is essential, but it’s equally important that people hear you. The organization serves as a megaphone.
The only contact that people have with the “why” at the outset is the “what” we do (train Jedi). It’s important that our “what” make clear our “why”
Starting with why not only helps you know what advice to follow, but also what decisions will put you out of balance. The more decisions you make, and advice you take that is in line with your why, the more trust you will earn.
Part 5: The Biggest Challenge Is Success
Sometimes it is not what is outside that hurts an organization, but the organization itself. If an organization loses its why, it begins to rely on its what
Passion alone cannot sustain an organization. It needs structure.
The larger an organization is, or the older it becomes, the more likely its why and what become out of balance. It’s essential that as we get bigger, we maintain our why. For this to happen, the why must be ingrained in every aspect of the culture.
Good successions keep the “why” alive. If the why is not clearly articulated, there is no way for a successor to lead
The entire culture (of an organization) is built around one person’s vision. The important thing is to find a successor who believes in that vision, not one who will replace it with their own.
Part 6: Discover Why
The “why” comes from looking back. It comes from looking at experience and upbringing focusing on things you already know and already do
Focus on competing with yourself. When you compete against everyone else, no one wants to help you. But when you compete against yourself, everyone wants to help you
What if the goal of work was to do better work than we did yesterday, or last month, in order to leave the organization in better shape than we found it.
Reflection Questions
Individual
- Are there any assumptions that you have made in regards to Jediism, Jedi training, or the Temple?
- We all have fallen victim to manipulations. Understanding what is driving us is key to understanding our why. Look at the list of manipulations in part 1. Which of the manipulation(s) are you most likely to fall victim to? Why
- In part 2 we are introduced to a “golden circle”. If you were to create a statement starting with why, about why you wanted to become a Knight, what might it be?
- Early in the reading it is said “[Organizations] with a clear sense of why give people a way to tell the outside world who they are and what they believe” This is true for individual Jedi as well. Now that you know your “why”, “how” will you do this? And lastly, “what” will you do?
Collective
As Knights, we are charged with the collective duty of bringing the “why” of the Temple forward. Our first task is to understand what we are all doing here
- Using the Doctrine as a guide, articulate the Temple’s “why” as you understand it. Given what you have just said, does your “why” and the Temple’s “why” match? Why or why not?
- Consider your individual “how” and “what”. In what ways can they be extended to include the Temple as an organization and/or the Temple’s “why: as an idea in practice outside of the Temple?
- Consider one problem in your offline community (neighborhood, school, workplace). How can your own “why” be leveraged (as a leader or as part of a group that is led) into a “how” and a “what” to solve that problem.
