The Devil is Tempting Me to Become a Preacher

One thing I can say for L. Ron Hubbard is that the dude had energy. I look at how silly he was as a person and the nonsense that he professed in Dianetics and scientology and i think; WOW, it had to have taken an unbelievable amount of work and marketing genius to turn that drivel into an empire, but he did it. Small time compared to modern greats like Rockefeller or Bill Gates but theres probably been kings who had less wealth and social influence than L. R. Hubbard enjoyed.

After a lot of deep soul-searching and a little bit of marijuana i have decided that i am way too lazy to build a completely new cult from scratch. What i COULD maybe do is to become one of those TV preachers that do fundraisers and sell holy water that cures cancer and stuff. Of course I would never say the water cured cancer. Its obviously God who cures the cancer, the water is just a symbol of your faith. These details are not important. The important thing is that i feel like i have many of the qualities necessary to be a successful cult leader. And i also think my cult could do some real good in the world doing something while also helping me get stupid rich and generating a flock of women who will jump at the chance to throw themselves at me. This position of power and privilege would allow me to influence society for the better. I could be sure to have fair representation of disadvantaged groups among my servants and concubines and of course id command them all to vote for progressive candidates. Seems like a win for everybody. What do you think?

It just occurred to me that I cant reall say “cult leader” if i want people to take me seriously. I suppose id better say “preacher” or “pastor”, instead. I think maybe y’all better call me “Brother Ob1” from now on. There so much i still dont know about this. Have any of you ever started a cult before? Got any tips?

Build it and they will come.... if they want something they think you can deliver.

My tip is to forget about that idea , trust me ya don't want to ride that horse it will kick you in the chest or if you think you are riding it nice and safe but in reality the role is playing you and then bam you get bucked off of your high horse . Also if you follow this path please for the people who won't say it here , and by please I mean don't associate yourself with this temple it will give us a bad name and we don't need that . Also what makes you think progressive candidates are the best ??? Personally most progressive candidates have policies or are trying to push policies that would or could possibly destroy our democracy and freedoms . Also I will say what I said to my brother when ever he got high and had stupid ideas , you were high and it was a stupid idea don't do it because you will regret it , eventually he figured out that I was right when I told him this . And yes I use to get high and had stupid ideas but I never went through with them .

Adder wrote: Build it and they will come.... if they want something they think you can deliver.

This is very good advice. I will stand and deliver a whole field of dreams for all those in pursuit of happyness i will lead them into the wild with my beautiful mind, offer them many awakenings and dare them to catch me if they can! Accepting only men of honor, i will teach my acolytes to always pay it forward because its a wonderful life but if you ever need to kill a mockingbird you have to remember the titans. These are FACTS.

Malicious wrote: My tip is to forget about that idea , trust me ya don't want to ride that horse it will kick you in the chest or if you think you are riding it nice and safe but in reality the role is playing you and then bam you get bucked off of your high horse . Also if you follow this path please for the people who won't say it here , and by please I mean don't associate yourself with this temple it will give us a bad name and we don't need that . Also what makes you think progressive candidates are the best ??? Personally most progressive candidates have policies or are trying to push policies that would or could possibly destroy our democracy and freedoms . Also I will say what I said to my brother when ever he got high and had stupid ideas , you were high and it was a stupid idea don't do it because you will regret it , eventually he figured out that I was right when I told him this . And yes I use to get high and had stupid ideas but I never went through with them .

Hey im totally picking up what youre putting down. Dont worry brother, im not role playing with any horses involved, no matter how high i get.

Just remember if you're wanting to create a so called "cult" don't associate it with here totjo ! We don't want that bad energy or backlash . If you want to be called pastor or whatever then go for it but as for here you have to work and train to have that title .

Apparently i lack the most important quality of a cult leader; the ability to troll people without making it obvious or caring that it might hurt their feelings once they figure it out. This is a huge disappointment to me because i was starting to look forward to all those concubines.

Malicious wrote: Just remember if you're wanting to create a so called "cult" don't associate it with here totjo ! We don't want that bad energy or backlash . If you want to be called pastor or whatever then go for it but as for here you have to work and train to have that title .

Ok Ok well look, what if i cut you in on the deal?

You know Mormons have multiple wives , I would look into that and they are very open to open marriages . Also if ya have the confidence then you should have no problem getting multiple lovers . Also ya need a lot of money to have a lot of concubines .

Malicious wrote: You know Mormons have multiple wives , I would look into that and they are very open to open marriages . Also if ya have the confidence then you should have no problem getting multiple lovers . Also ya need a lot of money to have a lot of concubines .

So youre saying cult leader is definitely a good career choice. I knew i liked you for a reason, bro

If you want to be the front man I have a good skill of persuasion , I could make it work ! But we still won't associate ourselves with totjo .

Go to bed Ob1
:dry:

Oh Ob1 I do love you
I could imagine you as a cult leader, but maybe you could infiltrate the flat earthers or some other bizarre group, corrupt them into believing the earth is round and take over as Lord and master?
Walk through hell as you own it and get the devil kissing your ass

Plus you wanna share the joint next time?
Have fun x

Gotta have good music to accompany your services...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hMaHDTw-pI

Lmfao, seems the only other person who had the same idea as myself was Carlos! Why not become a Jedi Cult Leader?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y1xJAVZxXg

A how to for ya!

Im gonna do the sentimental one first. I really liked the replies in this topic and felt they all deserved a response.

Adder: yours was the most practical, on topic advice. Do the work and the results will happen; this is actually the secret to most success stories that i know of. I actually thought “maybe i really could do this” after i read you comment lol. Thank you.

Malicious: youre a good dude. I want to quote the Genie from Aladdin here and say “you aint never had a friend like me” but that wouldnt be quite right: you aint never had a friend like US. Stick with this community and we will stick with you, and we will all be better for it.

Carlos: I have this idea that i dont need a rank to act as Jedi Knight ought to act and i don't need a title to be a Minister to my people. I do my best to contribute what i can, as i can. I am within a week or so of completing my first mental health degree and i probably would be a good clergy-person... but right now i definitely cant. Im not going to get into many details but my life is not stable. Im moving towards stability but the last year or so has been one kick in the teeth after another and i really cant take on any more responsibility than i already have. There may be a time in the future where I take a more formal and official role.... its been creeping into my mind that i ought to, tbh, but i am tap dancing on a landmine as it stands today and just dont have the available time or energy.

Rosalyn: HA! However you managed it, your reply was the most TRULY right for what was happening; I was at least a little bit more than just a little bit tipsy and did in fact need to go to bed at that moment lol. For everything youve done for this community and just for who you are i say you are awesome. Thank you for being you and doing what you do.

elizabeth: i love you and your love, my darling. You dont know it but your supportiveness helped me to keep coming back here during a time when i felt like a total outsider. You make a difference. You made a difference for me.

Proteus: dude! That was spot on, 100% perfect and i loved it. Youre like some kind of musical wizard, especially with metal. I still follow Ignea btw, thanks for introducing me to them.

Alethea: Im just kind of looking at my options here and it seems that Christianity offers better salary and better benefits than the Force. The thing about Jesus is that he really seems to value his team members. Like, if i spread the gospel of prosperity to enough people He will make sure that i never face any burden beyond what i can bear, will always be there to offer instruction, will forgive me for my moral shortcomings (which is pretty freaking useful right about now) and will lovingly guide me into the blessings of both immense wealth and the sexual availability of hundreds - maybe thousands of adoring women all over the country. I mean it kind of pays to be a Jesus Freak :lol:

Kobos: my man; thats exactly what i was referencing. I don't think any of those people are more articulate or persuasive than me. They would be both my blueprint but also my competition. The one “advantage” they have is they're ruthless and unscrupulous and willing to say anything, whereas i have some moral restraint. But thank you; that video was the perfect overview of what im talking about.

Now for the more serious reply.
This was definitely a bit of a goof topic but there was a real ethical question in its inspiration. I can say i believe in Christianity in what might be contemporarily refereed to as the “Jordan Peterson” style of belief. That is, i believe Christianity is true and useful and profound when taken as metaphor, allegory, and archetype. When it comes down to it i think 90% of it is pure fiction and even the historical bits are embellished.
But i might possibly be a good charismatic evangelist and if so, i could use that position as an opportunity to help people. I am a dedicated student of psychology and mental health and the bible is ripe with passages and instances that can be framed and explained through the lens of modern understanding of these fields. A genuinely good mental health counsellor could utilize the platform of Christian evangelicalism in a way that could potentially have a hugely positive impact on both the congregation that follows him/her and maybe even on the broader world of contemporary Christianity in general. Considering the possible benefit to society, would it really be unethical to bullsht about my actual beliefs? What if i lied to everyone about believing in Jesus but my lies allowed me to really improve peoples lives?

I think we all are tempted to justify the means by whatever we intend the end to be. I definitely have semi-joked about starting a cult almost weekly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯