You must learn control...

'Ooh! We're starting off with a Yoda quote? What's the occasion, Author Mumsie, dear?' Daline asked. Jack had folded her legs up and was taking several deep breaths.

"Well, first a funny story..." Jack started, ironically typing on the very machine that was at the heart of this funny story, "When the Jedi Gathering came up, I debated on taking my laptop with me and decided not to, in case it was stolen or broken on the trip. During the trip, I kept feeling very..." She paused, looking for the right word.

'Cut off?' James suggested.

'Naked?' Offered Sissy, attached to her own computer like it was an article of clothing.

'Amputated?' Offered the CMC, for reasons that made sense to Jack but she didn't dare type in a forum post.

"Ah... pick one." She muttered, speaking seemingly to an audience even though there was nobody listening to the story, "But, since we were quite busy at the Gathering..."

'Yes, with all the naps...' Daline agreed.

'And campfire s'mores.' Tom put in.

'And whipped cream flavored vodka in the hottub, every night.' Kendalina pointed out, until Jack spoke over them.

"QUITE BUSY! Ahem... Since there was so much to do, I got over it pretty quickly and I probably would have spent more time at the Gathering being panicked and high strung over the battery dying, or the thing breaking or being stolen than would have mattered. Point is, I relaxed quickly enough, and, in retrospect, I actually wasn't that bothered about it." Jack paused, "Then, two days after I got home, my computer malfunctions and I have to take it in for repairs because my harddrive had died."

'Aw.' James said, genuinely sympathetic, 'Sad panda.'

"Yes." Jack agreed, ruefully, "Here's the funny part -- I freaked out, just a little, when it happened. Cried, screamed, had a panic attack, couldn't sleep, even though there were plenty of things I could have done. BUT..." She paused again, this time to make sure she had everyone's attention, even though nobody was really listening to her, "But, even while I was freaking out, I knew why I was doing it."

'Because you hadn't expected your computer to fritz out?' Ken asked, patting the computer screen like it was a puppy's head.

'Because you didn't know what was going on?' Tensora-san mused, punching a few numbers into a calculator.

'Because it's the full moon and you always go on a bit of a bender when it's this time?' Kendalina prodded, wryly.

"NO! Well, okay, maybe a little..." Jack grumbled, "But, really, I knew even during my bender that it was a control issue: Something happened, I couldn't control it, and I couldn't do anything to fix the problem. So, I basically flipped out because I had no control in the issue -- and that's not the only instance."

To her credit, Kendalina didn't mock or sneer at Jack for that. Actually, none of her characters did -- even relaxed, Zen-like Haid, or mellow, peace-keeping Taro agreed that they had their own problems with control. Only to be expected, given that they were all just figments of Jack's insanity.

"But it did get me wondering -- is there such thing as a person who DOESN'T have issues with control? I talked with my mom and dad about it, and even they admitted that they thought probably all people have some form of a problem with control. Maybe it's universal."

This time, Silus caught on, first.

'Or maybe it's cultural -- maybe there are some cultures which grow up, learning that they don't have control and they learn how to be at peace with it, if not be accepting of not having control.'

"That's just what I wondered about." Jack agreed, "So... let's take a poll: Is there anyone here who doesn't have an issue with control, in all it's nebulous, varied forms and all the problems associated with it? And do you think there's anyone else out there who might not have any problems with control?"

I don't like being a passenger in a car, I swear I must be the worst passenger ever because every one wants to kill me. I also don't like driving, because I swear all the other drivers are trying to kill me, and there are things in the car trying to get me killed. Yeah, I may have control issues.

Sapadu wrote: And do you think there's anyone else out there who might not have any problems with control?"

Good monks perhaps? With a sufficiently altered world view, everything around us could be seen as having its own dynamic existence outside of concepts like authority and control.... maybe. So then the mind might not create a situation in the first place of any expectations which can not be met. As living a cloistered monastic lifestyle might be so devoid of responsibility they can have no authority over anything and therefore no capacity to exert or expect to have control. I'm not sure if that is strength or weakness though, as things usually grow in strength from surviving effort rather then avoiding it. So would venture to say that undertaking that form of emotional retreat might not be to strengthen resolve against emotion but rather develop emotional sensitivity as part of relating to emotion at a deeper or more exposed level. Maybe a Solid State Drive is a good investment as I've heard they are quite reliable.

I'm not sure if that is strength or weakness though, as things usually grow in strength from surviving effort rather then avoiding it.

It is a matter of prospective as to what surviving effort really means. To a Buddhist Monk, surviving effort could be the demands of long silent meditation.

Control is relative to the situation at hand. I may "lose control" as a matter of purpose to convey my anger. I may not lose control of my emotions so as to not convey my anger.

This is a interesting topic and I must meditate on how I completely perceive this.