Locking threads is Bllsht

Theres no point in locking a thread if you dont address the underlying issues which produced the conflict within the thread. Lock it if youre too weak to handle the situation but understand that the conflict will just spill over into other threads. Face the issue without being a pussie. Anyone who is uncomfortable can leave. By shitting the whole thing down, youre shutting down our abilty to honestly communicate with one another which shuts down our ability to come to terms with one another. Please listen; honest communication is uncomfortable. THATS THE PRICE OF BEING HONEST.

Why is everyone such a sensitive baby here and why do we patronize and sympathize with sensitive babies? Let people hammer out their differences, just like we have to do in the real world.

When I asked the thread to be locked, I did so because the mods had yet to reign in blatant name calling and immaturity, and I wanted decisive action taken.
I'm not sure I've ever been called a pussy, and I don't think my history would back such a claim. I can see your point that if two equally mature parties are having heated discussion, a lock might not be the best move. But in the case that we have a singular participant who refuses to listen and hurls juvenile insults, I just want the garbage to stop piling up.
I respect the mod's choice to do so, and want to say that I publically asked them for it. Blame me if anything

To OB's post I'd also add, if containing the heat is any sort of priority, locking the place it burns is a sure way to make it spill someplace else. I don't know much about moderation (I know, right? Shocking!) but mediation this is not by any means. Granted, the heat surrounding some people sometimes follows them around, especially as they drag it around and keep opening new threads to fire up yet more of it, but nevertheless, this is neither a solution, nor - in my opinion - is it an attempt to address something that is even that much of a problem in the first place. I don't blame you, Rex. I do disagree with you about the goodness of your request, but the moderators are not at your command. They judged the situation this time in a way that aligned with your request and acted in compliance with it, but that was their call to make, and so they made it.

Incidentally, I happen to live in one of those obscure time zone backwaters called central europe which renders me asleep pretty much all the time any thread is locked and any discussing whether it should be happens, so I only find out come morn. One might think such a censorious spirit would come from the continent with a history of doing so with more passion than regrets, but I guess times change and now putting up barriers and signs and literally locks is the new freedom and "Open Discussions" open-ness, isn't it...

I too come from one of those time zone backwaters Gist :lol: , and so missed what happened as it played out.

However, having read the thread in its entirety, it is clear to me that everyone in that thread holds responsibility for how things played out. Admittedly, Fyxe's original post contains call backs to previous threads but the OP was very clear that, following those previous discussions, Fyxe wanted to know what other people thought about the Force in an attempt build a better consensus TotJO Membership.

Now, I realise that you may think you'd already tried to answer this question previously in another thread and been ignored, I realise that the three of you have all been long enough to have seen this topic hashed out a hundred different ways, but please go back and re-read that first thread. There seems, to me anyway, to be a real chance to start a a dialogue in that OP. Now look at how the three of you responded:

Rex, you opened by completely ignoring the question posed of what YOU think the Force is and instead questioned Fyxe's intentions behind posting.

Gisteron, you opened by accusing Fyxe of telling lies and then also questioned their motives.

OB1Shinobi, you actually opened pretty well, you answered the OP (kudos to you). But then began your next post by pointing out the hypocrisy of Fyxe's argument.

The thread then descended into chaos and, following a request, the thread was locked by a moderator, and the immediate response of some of you is to then complain about the moderators.

Now, for clarity, I am in NO WAY saying that I actually disagree with your points or think that they are in anyway invalid, and I am in NO WAY saying that any of you hold sole responsibility for how things went, and I am in NO WAY trying to excuse Fyxe's behaviour which was a clear breach of ToS, but can you not see how the three of you criticising them one after the other (with nobody really leaping to their defence) may make them feel like they're under attack? Perhaps a little introspection into how your own behaviour and comments contributed to/escalated the situation may go a long way.

You're all long term members whom I hold in the highest regards, there's no need for any of you (let alone all of you) to gang up on a (fairly new) individual over several threads just to prove that you're 'right'. You're all better than that.

Again, I'm not saying that any of you were wrong in your points, but did you make your arguments in the best way, and did they contribute to the actual discussion in a positive way?

Lecture over (even I'm starting to think that I'm coming across as a condescending arse)

I don't know the details leading to this...emotion, and I don't care much to look for them - but I reckon I can guess.

My personal view of the moderation techniques aside, I like to ponder two things before wading into battle, broadsword swinging wildly.


1) Can I win this?
and
2) Do I gain anything by winning?


I suppose you could ask that both of whatever tension was in the original thread, and also of this thread.
Some battles, even the seemingly easy ones, don't turn out to be worth it....

I actually agree. I do not like locking threads for the record, however, when action has to be taken you are normally damned if you do damned if you don't. I hate and I mean hate stifling conversation. Regardless, I have to make a decisions and normally I go by precedence of previous similar happenings.

I am open to hearing solutions that don't require a lock. I will absolutely consider solutions, but when I see something becoming this similar loop some time to cool down maybe the ideal solution.

Much Love, Respect and Peace,
Kobos

The members, in particular clergy and knights, are the people who should defuse these situations, not mods.

The incessant 'run to the mods' culture was started by people who wanted 'change', their own vision of it specifically...
and is without a single doubt responsible for our current state of affairs being so similar to a broken family where the mother, father, and kids think there is such a think as outsmarting one's family, and worse, that they are somewhat right in attempting to.

By no means do I have the power to get mods to do what I wanted. I do believe that if someone is just flippantly not following ToS and being a pain that there is the point where mods should step in.

If I thought Fyxe's thread was a question in good faith, I would've answered. I've had great discussions on it before, and probably will do so in the future.

I would absolutely expect less activity from mods if council, clergy, and knights made it clear what we do not accept around here in terms of behavior (in a productive fashion). Alas.

someone said you are a long time member. if you dont know what is expected by now isnt that the issue, not the newbs... or is it just normal for you to attack new people?

Is that what I wrote?

To be honest, I do not expect much from anyone. However, I enforce these

https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/114-Announcements/121257-behavior-unbecoming#321555

This is in the red box at the top of the page.

Now that said Fyxe I can see your frustration and understand it. If you would like me and you can have a conversation over PM and kinda go through things. I know /i have said before, you have things to offer, admittedly I have been absent due to some life events. If you do PM me we can talk for a bit, my responses might not come right away but I will reply. Please excuse typos as typing with one hand is not a skill i am skilled at.

Much Love,
Kobos

It’s all part of the gig. Unfortunately.
Forgive the curse word please and thank you -

Old farmer told me one time - ya know what’s worse than chicken shit on your boot - when it gets in your mouth. Then you learn first hand how to walk carefully in crap when you could quite possibly be eating boot.

The good the bad - the ugly -the wins the loss the rules - not rules - games - all of it - is all part of the fun or joy or not of the whole thing.

The end of the farmers statement is this - eventually ya get tired of the chicken shit and don’t even pay no mind to it - even the taste.

Hopefully some day ... the small stuff is the small stuff.
Who knows. Small stuff to some may be the big stuff to others. Some may never change their mind about it some may.

You will find every level here of many faiths and maturity as well as communication skills as well as intentions. Try to remember this when thinking of us as a whole and you meet all the “parts” and “differences” when you actually meet them face to face.

Question what your faith makes you - is often something we can control a lot better than why others are they way they are.

Beyond the link Kobos posted, https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/faq#TermsandRules is also applicable

Thank you Kobos, you know what they say about assumptoins like the one Rex freely admitted he made, assuming my post was not in good faith, and this lead to the attacks. I would think long term members woujld know better but apparently not.

Thank you Kobos, you know what they say about assumptoins like the one Rex freely admitted he made, assuming my post was not in good faith, and this lead to the attacks. I would think long term members woujld know better but apparently not.

Mostly I've been ignoring you, don't take it personally, I have finite time in my life and that means that millions, possibly billions of people get ignored every moment.

it would seem I am grumpy this morning, because I'm particularly upset about this post.

We have words for sentences like that in my line of work, but they probably don't translate well, and they're a tad offensive, so I'll skip that.

I'm not going to write a page, that you will just be offended by, I'm just going to highlight each individual...irksome piece of the post in a different colour. If on consideration, you find nothing wrong with each piece, then by all means carry on.

Thank you Kobos, you know what they say about assumptoins like the one Rex freely admitted he made, assuming my post was not in good faith, and this lead to the attacks. I would think long term members woujld know better but apparently not.

I've tried to similiar-colour code related offences.


If you decide to put on your best blank face and ask me sweetly "Huh, I don't understand?*" I am more than happy to take you into my office and explain it.

*you'll use more words than that, I am sure.

lol yea without a color code key the colors are pretty meaningless.

If on consideration, you find nothing wrong with each piece, then by all means carry on.

Hmm.

If you decide to put on your best blank face and ask me sweetly "Huh, I don't understand?*" I am more than happy to take you into my office and explain it.

*you'll use more words than that, I am sure.

lol yea without a color code key the colors are pretty meaningless.

:dry:

not having the same baselines makes assumptions and that only leads to misunderstandings, right?

Fyxe wrote: someone said you are a long time member. if you dont know what is expected by now isnt that the issue, not the newbs... or is it just normal for you to attack new people?

For clarity, Rex was NOT the person to be found in breach of ToS...

My earlier comments, regarding thinking about how what you're saying actually contributes to the topic, also apply to you Fyxe

uhhh.... I never said he was???? how would I even know that?

actually brick, you have totally lost me with your comments??