"Us vs Them": A Simple Recipe to Prevent Strong Society from Forming

By James Rohrer

http://www.alternet.org/print/belief/us-vs-them-simple-recipe-prevent-strong-society-forming

My Uncle Richard did not need to die prematurely. He was a victim of the most relentless killer the world has ever known: Us and Them. This assassin can slay victims in countless ways. In my uncle’s case, it looked like either a stroke or medical malpractice. But it really was Us and Them.

Richard had left our Appalachian family farm at the tag end of the Great Depression. He moved to a big city in New York, got a job with a rising company, and soon he became management. He made a bundle, joined a country club, had a good life, but got burned out. When I was about ten years old, he decided to take early retirement and move back home to the farm. He wanted out of the city, out of the rat race, and back to nature. Soon after he returned, he went to our local small town doctor for a physical exam. He felt fine. But the doctor told him that he needed immediately to stop taking a medication that his family physician in New York had prescribed. Uncle Richard derisively ignored the advice. His New York doctor was an old friend—a member of the country club in fact—while the small town doctor was a refugee from the Soviet Union. This was during the Cold War, when most Americans imagined that nothing in the Soviet Union could possibly be up to American standards, and certainly not medical training. The last time I ever saw my Uncle, he was fuming about the “damned Russkie.” “Can you imagine the nerve of that damned Russkie, thinking he knows more than my doctor?”

Two weeks later Uncle Richard was dead. The coroner’s report made it clear: he should have listened to the Russkie.

My uncle was not particularly stubborn or foolish. He was just being human. We humans are by nature social creatures, even the most introverted of us, and we tend to trust and follow the thinking of the groups with which we identify. Some of these groups are small and select, like the country club or the gals we meet at the bar every Wednesday night. Others groups are bigger but still rather specific, like Orlando Magic fans or the members of the ACLU. Still others are larger yet, “imagined communities” like America or Great Britain. Others are transnational, like Christianity or Islam (also imagined communities). Our groups define “us” and exert powerful influence on how we think, even how we feel, and how we behave in society.

Please continue reading at http://www.alternet.org/print/belief/us-vs-them-simple-recipe-prevent-strong-society-forming .

No comments?

I was not sure how to comment. I think people get stuck going the safe way and in the end it can really cause damage and in the story's case death. My father taught me to always ask why. To question everything and to never just blindly trust the status quo. It's not a conspiracy if it's true sort of thing...

We're seeing this phenomenon become more and more mainstream and we're seeing these imagined communities spring up faster and faster around different issues because of how quickly we can all communicate. This is one of the main reasons I think the next great conflict of this world will not be between countries but between ideologies. This is also why I feel that a more serious form of the Jedi Order is long overdue. A group of people who can devote their lives to bridging gaps and ensuring peace in more than just a philosphical sense is much needed.

As per Roz, I wasn't sure what to comment either, John.

It is very similar to a conversation that I was having with a friend, an Iranian violinist, the other day ...

... Us/Them is such an insidious thing about our cultural conditioning, so deeply installed in our basic 'common senses' that it is hard to recognise. The choices that it makes 'evident' seem to even be very 'logical' and 'objective' ones. We can't really wish it away or resist it -- only be aware of it and choose differently when we are able ...

Logic, however, is not at all universal (Sapir-Wharf, 1949 ; Kaplan, 1966). This isn't a matter of roughly biased discrimination - it is twisted into our thought patterns so tightly that it would be very hard to un-do.

Makes me think of Watts' "Black and White"...

Alexandre Orion wrote: Logic, however, is not at all universal (Sapir-Wharf, 1949 ; Kaplan, 1966). This isn't a matter of roughly biased discrimination - it is twisted into our thought patterns so tightly that it would be very hard to un-do.

Exactly why there needs to be at least a few people on this planet who can set themselves apart and not get caught up in the things that divide these imagined communities so that peace can be maintained before things get too polarized.

Also, as a linguist, I appreciate the citation of linguistic studies and theories

Br jon, my sympathies for the loss of your loved one. The way he passed is very unfortunate too. I hope you are doing well with coping with your loss. My gma told me one time, its ok to cry if your sad, especially when love is involved. So it is ok to cry for your loss. The idea that follows is all to larger of a beast that could ever be tamed. The way i see it, we as individuals should shine our light.. on us. We should make the change from within. I do appreciate this insight and thank you for the sharing of it as it is near to you personally. I can say for myself i will consider the them and us in my life and identify them but what to do with them and how to better deal with the at hand delema i may have to meditate a bit more on.
CARLOS

The more I watch commercials the more I ask "why?" ....everything is a disorder, everything has a medicine to fix it, every medicine has side effects worse than what they treat...it's always unfortunate when the worst happens...

I never look at the world as an "us vs. them"....for me (depending upon my mood) it's either me vs. the world or more often me vs. no one...sometimes bad things happen, dwelling on them won't undo them, it won't change them, it won't make you feel better just worse...that's when being able to let go really comes in handy...

Oneiros wrote: We're seeing this phenomenon become more and more mainstream and we're seeing these imagined communities spring up faster and faster around different issues because of how quickly we can all communicate. This is one of the main reasons I think the next great conflict of this world will not be between countries but between ideologies. This is also why I feel that a more serious form of the Jedi Order is long overdue. A group of people who can devote their lives to bridging gaps and ensuring peace in more than just a philosphical sense is much needed.

This is already happening in numerous places....ukraine, isis, korea, etc....

RyuJin wrote: This is already happening in numerous places....ukraine, isis, korea, etc....

Yeah. ISIL is about as close to a real dark side threat as we have, and it's not far off from the Sith of myth. What's worse is that their message not only resonates with religious extremists, but also with the anti-establishment crowd as well. Any rebel without a cause can certainly find one there. At least, that's what they promise. Brotherhood and the support of a deity to combat the powers that be that are holding them down. The people attracted to them are not very different in their mindset than those that join inner city gangs. The weak minded are easily swayed by the dark side promising glory and power, and while their destructive ideology might not find support in small pockets of the Muslim community forever, it will continue to take root elsewhere until someone brings balance. The Us and Them, The Others mentality, will continue to overshadow conflicts until someone does something.

carlos.martinez3 wrote: Br jon, my sympathies for the loss of your loved one. The way he passed is very unfortunate too. I hope you are doing well with coping with your loss. My gma told me one time, its ok to cry if your sad, especially when love is involved. So it is ok to cry for your loss. The idea that follows is all to larger of a beast that could ever be tamed. The way i see it, we as individuals should shine our light.. on us. We should make the change from within. I do appreciate this insight and thank you for the sharing of it as it is near to you personally. I can say for myself i will consider the them and us in my life and identify them but what to do with them and how to better deal with the at hand delema i may have to meditate a bit more on.
CARLOS

Thank you but I did not write the article. It's by James Rohrer and appeared in Alternet.org about two years ago. My Mother passed away three months ago and you're right about crying when you feel like it. Only the first part of the article is posted so if you (or anyone) did not follow the link you did not see all of it.

ohh ok sorry bout that one my bad. i dont like links lol . question then, once identified then what? most of the problem i find in my life is identifying the problems. this one is fairly easy but...what to do with them now, any recommendations?

A good place to start once you try to overcome the "us vs them" mentality would be to accept that we all have to share this world together and, given that, we should do our utmost to get along as best as possible. The first part of getting along with others is trying to understand them and to empathise with them by understanding that they are just a human like you trying to live their life, with all the benefits and baggage that it comes with.

It seems relevant in light of recent developments at totjo....
However "us vs them" isn't necessarily bad. Nazi germany achieved quite a lot by creating a strong "us" (the superior people) and demonizing a "them" (the inferior people). the "us" slavers used "them" slaves to build ancient rome, ancient greece, ancient egypt, and the USA. The cold war ruined many parts of the world, but also gave us a lot of new technology, the space race, etc.

It depends on how much the "us vs them" is taken to heart. In Mahayana Buddhism the teachings are often split between what is "Conventional Truth" and "Ultimate Truth". The Ultimate truth of something is like saying that all words and language are metaphors, but the conventional truth is that in our everyday lives we still need to use words and language.

Similarly I believe that the Ultimate Truth of the universe is that we are all "One" through the Force, but the conventional truth is that I am a Jedi and someone else is a Buddhist and so forth...

What matters, for better or worse, is how much importance we treat the boundaries of the "us vs them".

Honestly i dont think i want to overcome it just understand it, i have to live in this world regardless but i feel if i better understand it i can learn to live with it. the us and them is very much a acute way of saying us four no more in my mind and i have found that kind of mentality not becoming or us full at times. im not saying that the ecocomunical movement is profitable too im just trying to find my personal balance in life and my path.

I think mistakes happen when something that is being used to describe a person gets mixed up with showing why they are not someone else. They are intending to show who they are but have offered it in such a way as to limit or regulate another person's idea of themselves(To their face, without permission). That is where the terrible frustration spark ignites.

Akkarin wrote: The first part of getting along with others is trying to understand them and to empathise with them by understanding that they are just a human like you trying to live their life, with all the benefits and baggage that it comes with.

The Dalai Lama says that a truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively. You develop the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. I think that this is the best way we overcome the "Thems" of this world. Unfortunately, some don't want help. That's where the difference between Ultimate and Conventional Truth that you mentioned is.

Them vs us. Absolutely. And Im with Ren on this one. Pops up in our community far more than it should.

but also,

Blind trust and not educating yourself.

If my doctor suggests something, I look into it myself first no matter what.