Aquilis's Apprentice Holocron

This begins Aquilis's Journey to Knighthood.

May The Force Guide You on this Journey, and May You be an Instrument of Peace.

Lesson 1

Who am I today?
Today I am who I always am - myself. A man with hopes, dreams, fears and concerns. Today I am a father, a husband and a teacher. Today I am happy that there is another day, but sad that so much of that time will be, to some extent, wasted on actions of futility that border on the definition of madness. Today I am multitudes - contemplative and proactive, peaceful of mind and constantly thinking. I am here but I am also not.

I hope for bigger picture things that are probably a daft burden to carry, peaceful resolution to the violence happening across the world, that enough people in positions of power come to realise that more needs to be done to save our world from ourselves. I hope that we do not fall into a dystopian corporate fueled existence where all is done for the benefit of one. But I also hope for more focused things - the health and wellbeing of those I love, to learn something that moves me, to find the time to do what I wish to achieve today. I hope to be kind, loving, compassionate and empathetic. I hope to be loved, and to make others feel safe.

My dreams stem from my hopes and also my enjoyment of science fiction. I dream of a world where we have finally left behind this capitalistic nonsense that lets people die in the streets over the concept of money and dirt, that people's fundamental needs are all met without them having to prove their worth to exist and so have the chance to explore who they really are, what they love to do and become the best version of themselves without the constant threat of death, starvation or homelessness looming over them.

My fears are largely existential and irrational things that I beat into place with a large mind bat called logic. It is not a constant thing, but I fear the void. As foolish as it is to fear the lack of existence, since I would not be around to experience whatever it is, there are moments when it hits me how much it would suck not to experience all that is to come. My core, my sense of self longs for eternity, to see and learn all that I possibly can even beyond the timeframe of what is typical for us now. Unfortunately my physiology is unwilling to accept inconveniences like the heat death of the universe. I probably fear what all parents do, that I will mess up and ruin my children's lives, that they will grow up to dislike me. I fear vulnerability, and so I do all that I can to be a rock, mentally and physically.

My concerns run parallel to my dreams, they are the problems that stand in the way of this beautiful future. There are of course the simple every day things too - is there enough money, food and time. Am I healthy today? Is my family healthy?

Who do I hope to become in the next five years?
I hope to be many things in this time - a successful businessesman, my shop doing well enough to support my family by itself, and a role model who can provide true value to my children as they grow. Ultimately though I just want to be a better version of myself than I was the day before - still learning, still growing but better.

Who are you afraid of becoming?
As painful as it is at times, I do not want to become uncaring or fall into being condescending. For all my light-heartedness I feel very deeply and I have seen how some people become numb to these feelings. I do not want that, but I fear that part of the world we live in is designed to promote that with a bombardment of negativity to overload. If we are being brutally honest, I am blessed with intelligence and I am aware of this. At this point, however, I am also blessed with patience, compassion, empathy and the awareness of my own limits and the fact that many others surpass me. Still, I fear that should I ever let go of those things I risk looking down on people, that they would become tools to use and a part of my own grand designs if they cannot do something as proficiently as myself and I do not want to be that person.

Lesson 2

"What Benefits might we Obtain from Considering the Deeper Questions of Life?

Are there Ways to Utilize the Big Picture Philosophical Questions to Help Us in More Immediate and Evaluable Human Processes?

What Parts of the Jedi Doctrine can We Look to as We Answer these Questions?"

As a mental exercise, applying ourselves to deeper questions based around life and existence can only be of benefit, I think, if we first accept that we will not find an answer to these questions in a universal sense. If we are willing to first acknowledge that, then we can start to find personal answers to these questions that might be applied to the present moment. For example, I, and people far smarter than myself, could not tell you equivocally how to be good nor find a universal measure by which to say something is good or not good. However, by contemplating what it is to be good we can, by running through various scenarios, come to an idea of what it is to be good from our own perspective within these perimeters. We can push and challenge our ideas by adding in extreme variables, as Descartes did when he questioned if we could know anything at all and imagined almost impossible situations to challenge his ideas, and when done properly this can lead to more specific and robust sense of self for the immediate. In this way we can develop our understanding of our social structures and how we fit within it, and even if something might be broken with that construct when it clashes with what these thoughts experiments might produce as the ‘correct’ answer. Stealing might be universally considered bad, but what if the person is starving? Does it make a difference if that person is an adult or a child? Does their ethnic or religious background come into it? If they steal a loaf of bread because they are hungry, but then the baker just misses having enough money to pay their bills and the business folds, does the answer remain the same? By entertaining these questions, especially the absurd, we both stretch our understanding and begin to explore what we do not yet know. If we did not think about them at all then we cannot begin to have even an attempt at an answer, and so it becomes impossible to relate that situation into anything actionable. I would argue that without this attempt at bigger picture thinking we might not have a system of ethics and justice at all beyond “this is mine, if you take it I will kill you.”

I believe the 11th, 13th, 14th and 15th teachings are the most relatable parts of the doctrine to these thoughts. Being aware that our emotions impact our perception of things is important when applying logical thought. We must be mindful of when something is truly logic, and when we are making an illogical jump based on emotion but disguise it as reason. By approaching a problem with as little preconception as humanly possible, not labeling it as good or bad before examining it we do not limit the possibility of our thoughts and revelations. When we acknowledge that others share the same range of feelings that we have, we are better equipped to contemplate motivations and effects for these concepts. The fifteenth applies because ultimately, no matter how much we think our way around a philosophical concept we must ultimately acknowledge what is in the present and not focus needlessly on what should or could be.

Lesson 3 - Finding Meaning

We are naturally pattern finding animals and much of our early survival seems to come from this ability to tell what is dangerous and safe, especially when it comes to foods and predators! I think our ability to form community also stems from this ability as we learn to see ourselves in others, even if it's not truly the same, it allows us to forge a vital connection with other humans. These days, now that community and educational systems have become more or less established, I think this pattern recognition part of our brains has turned elsewhere to keep busy, and this is where we get a little thrill (at least I do) when we start to notice coincidental patterns.

For me, a ‘pure’ coincidence is a pattern without significant impact upon my life. For example, a few years ago I came across an unusual pronunciation of the word recipe on a TV show. The chef said they were following a ‘reseep’. I didn't think too much of it, but over the course of a month or so I encountered this pronunciation a handful more times in different places. This experience, aside from being a fun little memory I can recall as an example now, had no meaningful impact upon my life. I have not changed how I say the word recipe, nor has it really come up again since that time.

When it comes to finding more in a coincidence, I think it largely comes down to what someone takes away from the experience, and how they allow it to affect them. I know I have been dismissive of attempts to interpret themes and symbols in literature, but that is less about them being wrong in their interpretation and more to do with the certainty that they hold the truth of it. A red room must symbolise a place with a dark secret, as opposed to the writer just liking the colour red. That said, I think when people attempt to find meaning in the coincidences and symbolism in their own lives, we have a guy feeling that leads us to what is right for us. It certainly doesn't make it the absolutely correct interpretation in general, just the one we needed in that moment, which is why I think introspection is useful at the personal level, less so at the macro. A good example of this is when making a choice, if you have two choices and assign them to a coin toss, depending on how you feel when the coin lands is the true indicator of what you really wanted and you should choose the one that made you feel relief or avoid the one that made you feel that moment of disappointment when you saw it, not stick to the result itself. If a coincidence has the same effect on you - you feel happy, nervous or something else when the event happens, you can gain meaning from it and should follow up appropriately to that gut feeling.

Conspiracy comes from an unwillingness to accept information that contradicts your pattern, I think. Our pattern finding brain starts to insert feelings into a situation and builds a network of links, often encouraged by others feeding into the pattern with their own vagaries filled with confidence. I think something officially becomes a conspiracy when it rejects data that can reasonably be presented as fact in favour of following your own imagined scenario. This is neither a positive or negative thing intrinsically, though more often than not it seems to end up taking a negative route when they begin to reject what they could verify for themselves with their own senses. It becomes an obsession, and they throw too much of themselves into the scenario. On occasion it pays off and something shocking or amazing is discovered, but usually it leaves people broken. The flat earth is a good example of this, with so many people investing huge sums of money into equipment so that they could do the science themselves, only for many of them to reject the science and the results when they were not what they had wanted.

Lesson 4 - Finding Meaning: Connecting With The Force

I think what I would define as the force in this instance would be generally defined as that gut feeling that leads you to an inner truth, or warns you about a situation. In the movies they often describe this in much grander terms as ‘a disturbance in the force’ and I think we are capable of feeling similar things with accuracy if we work to educate ourselves, which is why the Jedi training involves such a wide variety of humanity studies. As pattern recognising machines, it is important that our minds are given as much good information as possible if we are to accurately and reliably tap into that skill and learn to trust our instincts. Self introspection, guided by instinct or ‘the force’ will then become much easier to find what meaning and signs should be taken note of and given meaning.

It becomes a little tougher with conspiracy theories, but ultimately again I think if you are open to knowledge then the force will guide you correctly even in these murky waters. It is important here not to confuse the feelings you have within you though and allow desperation to take control of your senses while masquerading as intuition. This is then no longer the force guiding your actions and will likely lead you to abandon reason and cling only onto the theory as a crutch.