Need Help Getting Going

I need to work on my physical health. I eat too much sugar and probably too many simple grains. I am too sedentary.

I also have some medical stuff going on that complicates how much, and what, I can do.

I'm looking for someone who's willing and able to help me figure out what is reasonable to ask of myself, and if I'm being too easy or hard on myself, and who would be willing to be firm enough to help me with accountability.

I am not qualified in any way... except that I have struggled with your same struggles for many years. Please message me if you think I can help.

Are you looking to add exercise, change your diet, or both?

JLSpinner wrote: Are you looking to add exercise, change your diet, or both?

Both

I'll send you something in a p.m.

If you're looking for accountability, consider starting a "30 days of discipline" style thread similar to those Amyntas was running a while back. It can be more or less than 30 days and you could perhaps set out a list of goals for participants to select from since it's geared more to health and fitness than discipline.

I'm sure there are many of us who can relate to your concerns and would be glad to join you in your efforts to get going (speaking for myself anyway).

I have found, and it shames me, that I am disturbingly willing to just stop groups like that, to just say "oh well, didn't work" and just... stop.

I think I need to find some real motivation. And I don't know what that would be, since "you must lose belly fat and strengthen your core muscles in order to have this life saving surgery" doesn't even appear to be motivation enough...

I hear you. I think I made it to about day 20 of the last challenge.

It's hard to get motivated to do something you "should" or "must" do. I think the secret is to find something active that you enjoy so it doesn't feel like exercise.

Maybe it's time to look into windsurfing or something - I imagine that requires a bit of core work.

I hope you find what works for you. I'll be checking back to see what it is when you find it because maybe it will work for me too.

River,

I would be happy to start a 30 days of discipline thread with you and anybody else who needs a restart.

Because I resigned from TOTJO when I did a year and change ago, I was unable to keep my promise to the last group. Won't happen again, if you're interested. Especially using those resources I gave you.

It's time to stumble onto the road of success. haha.

Wow, I hadn't realized how much shame I carry about physical health stuff. No wonder it's hard to get going - I have a miracle of shame to Wade through every time I try!

It sounds tempting, I'm just not sure how to keep it from becoming another thing I give up on

We are friends here. You don't have to begin until you're ready. But, I think only fear is keeping you from tackling this head on. Fear of your past choices. But, that's just it... it's about making different choices. You will be as successful as with how much you lean on us to help you.

Nobody gets through pain alone. Humans need other humans to help process emotions and to help move past pain. Otherwise, if you isolate yourself (which, I will put money on that you have in the past), you will allow your dark, inner thoughts to churn in your stomach. It leads to self-disgust, denial, anger, fear, suffering, and you guessed it....

We are here waiting for whenever you're ready. That's literally why we're here.

RR:

WHY do you want this?

I mean, I'm sorry to say, but all the people in the world PMing you information and tips and motivational posts and whatnot will do nothing to push you towards your goals if you don't even know what those are or why to get there.

Why do you want this?

I found that making little goals instead of looking at a BIG goal helps!

So, as a quick example, I want to lose 50 pounds so that's the big goal. I'll go ahead and split it up into smaller and more realistic goals so I'll be like "Ok, it's April, by July, I hope to have at least lose 10". That's more realistic than the bigger goal because we tend to lose motivation if we focus too much on the bigger goal. This is due to how long it may take to ACHIEVE the bigger goal. By setting smaller goals within the big goal, every achievement motivates you more and more. This works for me and I always tell people to try it! Also, don't be ashamed if, like in my example, you don't meet the smaller goal in time ( like, say, I only lost 7 pounds by July).....that's ok! Don't punish yourself, just push yourself and say "ok, let's get this done by september!"

Also, don't take too much at once, it will be overwhelming. Always start with baby steps and make your way

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to vent/talk/ask anything, I'll be more than happy to help!

This is best done at home...for simplicity.....

At home now?

Cool.

Stand up, walk out to your letter box / end of the driveway / bottom of the stairs / whatever your situation is.

It's cool.

I'll wait.

Welcome back.

Go again

I'll wait.

Right,




I'm not trying to be a jerk....but if you found an excuse not to do the above....you're going to find an excuse not to do anything - and you won't be motivated to achieve any goals - Don't read any further.


If you DID make the two trips - you should feel a weird sense of...discipline (or something) remember what that feels like, harness it to do what you need to do.

(Also, make the trip again now! and if you're not about to go to work or something, keep walking for half a hour! - You were only going to spend that time looking at rubbish online anyway)





*******Breaking up a 12 month plan into 4x3 month plans is certainly a technique I recommend, as is my personal favourite of "tricking" myself into achieving a goal by aiming for another one (If I want to lose weight, for example, I tell myself I want to improve my 10km run time...I'm not thinking about the weight, I'm thinking about running, and then I accidentally achieve my goal)

But more so than any "plan" or method for achieving goals, is making sure that what you are doing right now is helping you.

If you are watching re-runs, or mulling over the same old thoughts, or waiting for something - Your goals are getting further away.

The sooner you do "The Thing", the rest of your day is free.

If I need to do a 10km run, I do it at six in the morning - Then that task is done and out of my mind, and I can focus on the next task (probably breakfast)

I know why I *should* want it. The reason that rings truest is, to be less of a burden. But then my isolationist self says "well then just isolate more, hide it."

Maybe I'm just fundamentally, grotesquely lazy....

I did not make the two mailbox trips. My excuse is, I'm in the middle of what is usually a several day migraine. And here is where I get stuck: is that a valid reason to have not walked down the driveway way? The bright sun does hurt. The bounce of walking does hurt. My balance gets a bit off during migraines. But I *could* have made it. It was physically possible to do.

I kind of feel like this whole thread has devolved into me making excuses. There's something fundamental going on, some block in my psyche....

I think it was Thomas Edison who said that our greatest weakness is giving up. The most likely way to succeed is to ALWAYS try one more time.

I've made a journal post about all this, which anyone is welcome to read and give feedback on.