tips on anger and patience

Hello my name is Adam and i would like to know some tips on building patience and controlling my anger. It seems my normal reactions to stress is automaticly anger, meditation has helped a great deal but i would like any advise how to supress or shift awareness from my anger and gain patience in my day to day life any advice would be highly appreciated thank you.

Actually, I had an interesting conversation with my daughter about this particular topic this weekend.

She tends to become agitated or annoyed easily and in turn gets angry. She told me that she was controlling her hanger, but still felt angry sometimes and didn’t know why. “I’m not mean to people, but I want to be.”

I know that you have probably heard this before, but “control” is an illusion. Most of the time when people speak of controlling anger, what they mean is suppression. One can only suppress so much for so long before it takes over and surfaces… which tends to end in bad results. Now this doesn’t mean to just walk around and be angry at people either. What I am talking about is acknowledging things are. Accept that some things will make you angry; experience that anger for what it is at that moment… and then let it go. Just take whatever caused the anger in the first place and the anger itself… and release it.

Patience… I’ll let you in on the secret to that one later.

I need to sticky a thread for this... It is a very common question of most who come here...

And, the truth be told, what works for one, may not work for another...

For myself, it is a combination of things...

But, meditation is a big part... Prolly big for most...

First, I tried to delay any reaction to things that irritate me... Not flying off the handle, not getting pissy...

Then, as I get better at controlling the kneejerk reactions... I try to examine the situation and see what it was that set me off...

Each time I get behind the wheel, my current irritant, lol, I try to figure out why the person, is irritating me, lol...

Then try to not let it bother me, cause really, they dont know me, nor are they trying to annoy me...

Then I try to not let it annoy me...

Thats what I do...

Whatever you do, don't suppress your anger. Anger is like a spring... the harder you push it down, the stronger it will come back at you.

Being aware of my breathing is a vital start for myself. Am I breathing from the chest, or the stomach region. People breathing with the chest are prone to anger outbursts, as their breathing is more labored and short, thus the breath is not carrying oxegen throughout the body like it should. Learning to control ones own breathing I believe is vital to being aware, of yourself and your surroundings...

http://www.mindpub.com/art012.htm

AMD1988 wrote: Hello my name is Adam and i would like to know some tips on building patience and controlling my anger. It seems my normal reactions to stress is automaticly anger, meditation has helped a great deal but i would like any advise how to supress or shift awareness from my anger and gain patience in my day to day life any advice would be highly appreciated thank you.

It help me to pause just a second so my knee jerk reaction doesn't make me say something I'll regret. That short pause make a big difference for me.

Anger, I believe, is fear on the offensive. What is it that scared me about what happened?

rugadd wrote: Anger, I believe, is fear on the offensive. What is it that scared me about what happened?

not entirely true

I get angry when I see people get betrayed and hurt but it has no consequence to me, am I afraid?

or my passion on my radical beliefs, I understand them, but people don't and they pretend they do, that doesn't scare me, it pisses me off

.[/quote]

It help me to pause just a second so my knee jerk reaction doesn't make me say something I'll regret. That short pause make a big difference for me.[/quote]

Another thought: when I get angery I'm often wrong and/or have misjudged a situation or person. Tha sucks and it's humbeling. I'm better not to let the anger response get a grip on me in the first place.

Anyone ever get obsessive and stuborn when the get angery?

You can be afraid for other people and the suffering they might endure. You can be afraid of being misunderstood, or worse letting those misunderstandings propagate.