To Have Regrets or Not to Have Regrets...

too many people use only the optimist/pessimist approach...i prefer the realist approach...

optimist = the glass is half full
pessimist = the glass is half empty
realist = that depends are you drinking from or pouring into?...if your drinking from (taking away) then it is half empty, if your pouring into (adding to)then it is half full

optimist = the glass is half full

pessimist = the glass is half empty

realist = Who drank half my BEER !!!

Proteus wrote: Many people say "I regret nothing."

For at least some of these people, I feel the instinct to doubt that.

But maybe some people really don't regret anything. Is that realistic?

Can somebody really go through life without any regrets?

Is it really better to go through life having no regrets?

Is it good to avoid regretting things?

What if someone has regrets as long as they are honest about them, accept them and let go of them? Is this more realistic or better for the average person in some way?

I would honestly like to say I regret nothing, but in all truth, I do have regrets. It comes to mind for me that perhaps a regret might be a reflection of a lesson learned. Maybe that is why it seems to me that having no regrets seems unrealistic - because it seems as if, if someone never regretted anything, then they have never experienced something that reflected a significant life lesson involving trial and error.

Your thoughts?

I have made many decisions in my life that I initially regretted. I believe that the key to living a regret free life, however, isn't never regretting anything, but learning to face them honestly, accept them for what they are, and let go of them. Once you've truly let go of a regret, in my opinion, it no longer fills you with that remorseful feeling of "regret"...thus can no longer be called a regret. The key, therefore, to living a regret free life is learning to let go...and yes...I believe that it is absolutely possible to live without regret.

This is an interesting topic. I believe you can do things that maybe you shouldn't have, or not do things that maybe you should have, and still not have any regrets. But then I guess that depends on the meaning. Does regret mean that you dwell on your mistakes, feeling ashamed or mournful all over again? Or does it mean you understand there are things in your past you're not proud of, but you've learned from them and let the emotions go? Do people hold onto their emotions and regrets because they get something from them? A reminder of what to do or not to do? A punishment and a way to "repent"? Entertainment?

Though, really, why regret when it's perfectly normal to make mistakes and learn from them?

Wendaline wrote: This is an interesting topic. I believe you can do things that maybe you shouldn't have, or not do things that maybe you should have, and still not have any regrets. But then I guess that depends on the meaning. Does regret mean that you dwell on your mistakes, feeling ashamed or mournful all over again? Or does it mean you understand there are things in your past you're not proud of, but you've learned from them and let the emotions go? Do people hold onto their emotions and regrets because they get something from them? A reminder of what to do or not to do? A punishment and a way to "repent"? Entertainment?

Though, really, why regret when it's perfectly normal to make mistakes and learn from them?

Well I know some people who have ended up with things and conditions in their life that they have a very difficult time handling, all because of a choice they made, and for them, at least in their eyes and experience, it doesn't seem so much a matter of "oh, well I made a mistake, and I guess next time I'll learn to do better. Okay, I'll let go of it". Even if they tried to let go of it, they have to live with the results for the rest of their lives, and having to have the object or condition of that result close to you every day as a tangible reminder of that choice can become a burden, and very difficult to just "put behind you", when its always there in the present anyway.

But then again, this is what I think about when I think about their situation. I'm not them, and I don't completely know the entire dynamic of dealing with something like that on that level. Maybe someone else here might? :dry:

Proteus wrote: Well I know some people who have ended up with things and conditions in their life that they have a very difficult time handling, all because of a choice they made, and for them, at least in their eyes and experience, it doesn't seem so much a matter of "oh, well I made a mistake, and I guess next time I'll learn to do better. Okay, I'll let go of it". Even if they tried to let go of it, they have to live with the results for the rest of their lives, and having to have the object or condition of that result close to you every day as a tangible reminder of that choice can become a burden, and very difficult to just "put behind you", when its always there in the present anyway.

But then again, this is what I think about when I think about their situation. I'm not them, and I don't completely know the entire dynamic of dealing with something like that on that level. Maybe someone else here might? :dry:

For my part, I didn't intend to imply that all bad decisions result in a simple "oh well..." kind of situation. I have made decisions whose negative results still haunt me today. I also didn't mean to sound like "letting go" is a simple thought or act. Learning to let go is a process...it's gradual and requires much work. Hell, if it were easy, we wouldn't have to learn to do it. My criminal record was expunged, but I had a felony assault charge against a minor child under 12 (that's child abuse for those not fluent in legalese). Now, I did not beat my kid bloody or anything horrible like that, I simply spanked him. But I did leave a mark and his grandparents found it and got the police involved. There are many things about that situation that I regretted, and it took years to work thru them all, but I finally did face the mistakes that I made that lead up to that nightmare, honestly. I did accept them for being mistakes and made my apologies and my peace with everyone I felt I needed to. And once I had recognized and dealt with everything surrounding that decision and its "fallout" that I had/have any control over, I worked to let go of the guilt that continued to drive the regret. The entire process took me 6 or 7 years...but I do not currently feel regret over anything. Now...if I had it to do over again, would I? Certainly. But until I perfect a means of time travel to be able to go back and undo some of my more horrendous life choices (and believe me, there are many, and this one wasn't even the worst of them), I will simply have to learn to live with what I've done in a way that's not self-destructive and counter to the goal of self-improvement. Guilt and remorse are the emotions that drive regret, and they'll kill you quickly...learn to let go.

Alluvius wrote: Now...if I had it to do over again, would I? Certainly.

Oops...I meant "Certainly not." That's what I get for trying to have a "deep" conversation before both eyes are open, huh? :laugh:

RyuJin wrote: optimist = the glass is half full
pessimist = the glass is half empty
realist = that depends are you drinking from or pouring into?...if your drinking from (taking away) then it is half empty, if your pouring into (adding to)then it is half full

roleplayer = I drink it, what happens?

you grow fur and a tail :laugh:

Man, I hate when I drink Potions of Polymorph...especially when they turn me into a rat...