What Is Your Aim When Posting?

I wrote a post a few minutes ago that inspired me to start this new thread.

I'd like to invite you to imagine that we are a serious ice cream enthusiast forum, and consider the following short paragraphs:


I love ice cream. It's the BEST food in the world, and if you don't agree you must be completely insane. I'm NOT joking. You can't beat a good quality vanilla ice cream. So what's your favourite flavour? But if it isn't vanilla, don't even bother replying.


I love ice cream. It's the best food in the world, and if you don't agree you must be completely insane I'm not joking :whistle: You can't beat a good quality vanilla ice cream. So what's your favourite flavour? But if it isn't vanilla, don't even bother replying


So...if we were the sort of people who seriously sit around discussing the merits of ice cream flavours, which one would you be more likely to reply to?

If you replied to both, would your two replies be the same?

Me, I think...maybe if I replied to the first one I might sound kinda grumpy..."Who are you to tell me what ice cream I should like...and this is a discussion forum, you can't tell me not to reply! Mint choc chip is so much better you loser!" Perhaps the original poster would reply again to have a go at me for ignoring their wishes and being so one-sided when it comes to ice-cream preference...and I'd reply to point out that they're a hypocritical, vanilla-loving moron who should be banned from the forums for failure to acknowledge that vanilla is boring when everyone else clearly agrees with me...


Sometimes we have to step back when we are writing about something we feel strongly about (like ice cream flavours ) and ask ourselves...what am I hoping to achieve here?

Why do you post in the forums? What do you want people to get out of what you post? What do you yourself want to get out of posting, and reading what people reply to your posts?

Do you ever find yourself losing sight of why you posted in the first place?


I'd really like to get a discussion going about this.

No, not about ice cream...

And not specifically answering the questions I asked, they were kind of rhetorical, just food for thought...

But if you have any relevant thoughts, please do add them

Well I would agree with that mint chocolate chipper. It's the yummiest...

Sometimes I post because I have a strong view on a topic, a topic I think isn't being understood as it could, or maybe it's getting a bad rap. Sometimes it's to play devils advocate, but mostly I like hearing different ideas and sharing mine. It's boring if the discussion is one sided.

It's easy to lose sight when it's a hot button topic, but I think a lot of topics here offer a place to share in similar ideas or share stories (like the premonition one). A lot of us are here to learn and sometimes arguing helps. You can have a heated discussion and still walk away friends. (I got pretty grumpy with Ren, but I don't think any less of him).

Posters intentions can be masked by grey language - meaning things which can be intepreted either way. Its one way to see how someone is feeling by the way they react, or to make a joke, but its also a way some people can stick the boot into someone by stealth by subtle and repeated patterns of it marginalizing someones circumstance as the butt of a silent joke. The first question then is why are the intentions being masked by using that language!? Is it targetted and who is the target!? Usually its evident to everyone, at least those who are not biased to whatever might be going on in the background. It can though start a cycle of recrimination which alone might be the original intention.

I guess the scope of intentions for posts is huge, but common ones would be;
sharing ideas,
asking questions,
making idle smalltalk,
making jokes,
passing judgement,
marginalizing posters/groups and inciting cliques for a cheap thrill,
stalking for a sick thrill,
death threats
:ohmy:

OK I tried to go from good to bad there obviously.

Does Sorbet count as ice cream?

I read the OP. I read all replies (usually). If I have something to add or my own point to make, I state it. If I have a question, I will ask it.

If I am not convinced of the opposing points, it typically doesn't move me to further defend my position. Not continuing to post does not usually mean I agree with the opposing reply. It usually means my point stands anyway (not always though). I'm just not personally concerned with defending further. If readers want to agree they can, but if they don't, it doesn't matter.

I can't expect anyone to reply with "Oh, well since you put it that way, I guess I stand corrected." or the such. I face the fact we all have egos and those egos can make any of us determined in our position.

What makes a thread old is when it either gets so off-topic that the discussion has nothing to do with the OP, or if the same points are driven into the ground over and over needlessly. I might as well be reading two people going

"Yes it is!"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Uh huh!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Uh huh!"

You hope the two people eventually figure out there is not going to be an end to that loop, but sometimes they never do.

What I find funny is when somebody fills their reply with quotes of single statements, dissecting someone else's reply in some maneuver to take each line out of context and attack them separately. I think the jig is up once somebody starts doing that.

Anyway, Cookies & Cream Ice Cream is your master. Worship its yumminess!

My aim when posting is to type with similar idiosyncracies to the way I talk, and despite that impediment, get my point across. ^^

V-Tog wrote:

Sometimes we have to step back when we are writing about something we feel strongly about (like ice cream flavours ) and ask ourselves...what am I hoping to achieve here?

I agree. One of the things I am constantly trying to emphasize with my daughter is that it is not always so much what you say as how you say it. Of course as Jedi, I would hope that we are not letting our emotions dictate our actions.

Right now, I am writing in msword as I do before replying to any thread. I write here and if I think that I might have had “strong” emotions while writing it, I will delete everything I wrote and do it again. That way I have the chance to “get it out of my system” so to say before I go and say something I may regret later. An added benefit is that it gives me a chance to check my spelling and grammar!

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but sometimes the threads seem to get way off topic. There is nothing wrong with letting the discussion flow to where it will go. Keep in mind that it is always possible to start a new thread and explore a new path or train of thought.

Tao Te Ching - 5
The Tao doesn't take sides;
it gives birth to both good and evil.
The Master doesn't take sides;
she welcomes both saints and sinners. The Tao is like a bellows:
it is empty yet infinitely capable.
The more you use it, the more it produces;
the more you talk of it, the less you understand. Hold on to the centre.

I'm not so sure that I have strong feelings about anything -- most certainly not those threads that turn into multiple page tirades, "I"s who need to prove something or just "win". Debate is a beautiful thing, whereas crashing egos are about as enticing as crashing aeroplanes.

V, your ice cream analogy is splendid, for very often these long, out-of-control (and blind as a bat) topics have as little, sometimes less, consequence as screaming about ice cream ... how did that go again ? "I scream, you scream, we all scream about ice cream ?" -- a foolish figure, but farewell it, for I shall use no art (Polonius) --

... and, by the way, you're beautiful when you're in bold type

Aright, now I'm just being silly :blush:

Then again, perhaps a bit of silliness is warranted. If one remembers "focus, knowledge and wisdom", one must admit to a certain degree of humour in everything that we attempt to take too seriously, including and especially that which one tends to get riled over. Life is all paradox, humour and change ... with or without boldface print or cute :laugh: smileys.

It is worth the self-questioning "what am I hoping to achieve here ?" both in and out of the forums. There is no better reflection for self knowledge than our interactions with others :

Tao Te Ching - 33
Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough,
you are truly rich.
If you stay in the centre
and embrace death with your whole heart,
you will endure forever.

I post most often in an effort to express an opinion in a way which may provide understanding on a topic that might be lacking and provide a degree of mediation. It doesn't always work, granted, as sometimes such mediation was misjudged and misplaced. That said, I an rarely taking a side, usually simply injecting more complete information into the discussion to facilitate better understanding and elevate the argument to an actual debate. When I do take a side I tend to express it as an opinion open to alteration rather than absolute fact. The only difficulty I run into, what will cause me to react over-emotionally, is when someone persistently asserts their opinion as fact even in the face of actual facts that disagree. Of late I tend to simply walk away from those discussions but sometimes they bait me in still and it can become quite frustrating.

So in short, my goals are education and mediation most often and only occasionally persuasion.

Alexandre Orion wrote: It is worth the self-questioning "what am I hoping to achieve here ?" both in and out of the forums. There is no better reflection for self knowledge than our interactions with others :

Tao Te Ching - 33
Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough,
you are truly rich.
If you stay in the centre
and embrace death with your whole heart,
you will endure forever.

Thank you for that interpretation. This is indeed the main reason I participate in the forums. I learn about myself and often it helps me clarify my own beliefs and positions. For me it's about sharing, inspiring and very often being the one inspired.

To the OP:

Oh V-Tog, I know exactly what this is all about
Was my heated opinion really that controversial? :blink: