How do you define "love"?

One thing: I hope I am not sounding like I have love "all figured out", as if I have just simplified it all into a few words and left it at that. Absolutely not.

I deeply acknowledge that love, in spiritual terms at least, can be an immensely complex, and un-grabbable in nature. To many of us, in its true essence, it seems to exist far beyond what any words of any language can describe. This is why I believe we hold ourselves so dearly toward things like music (the sounds of tones and rhythms), because it puts us a bit closer to its essence through feeling and experience rather than just words. This is why I am personally passionate about music and its ability to express love to a person and allow a person to express their love when they write it and/or play it around someone else.

However, when I contemplated love mentally, while acknowledging that true understanding of love is quite limited by verbal language, I always kept seeing people lumping terms and ideas together in a fashion that didn't make any sense to me as far as how I've experienced and learned about it myself. Love can be very chaotic at times and in various ways, but I still felt that when using terms, it insinuates some kind of order to be had when making sense of what we CAN verbally communicate about love. And my hope is that what I came up with here, myself, with those 4 pillars, could maybe help others here who have contemplated love and wanted some kind of structure to look at and maybe refer to, at least as a start, to how they can apply different elements of love more clearly in their every day life.

This is my opinion, as unpopular as it has proven in the past.
Love is a choice. A decision you make. I could elaborate, I suppose, but I don't think there's a need to. Love is active, not passive.

Lust is obviously physical attraction. It doesn't take a whole lot (sometimes) to be attracted to someone based on looks or personality traits. If you find yourself saying, "I love you because..." things, you can rest assured it isn't really love as those traits can change. For example, "I love you because you make me laugh." what happens when they no longer do? If that's the reason you love them and they stop doing/being that, your "love" is dissolved. Don't get me wrong, you should appreciate good things about people, but if those things are the basis for your love, it probably won't last. "I love you because I love you." because you decided. That's the only reason you truly love someone. Honestly.

And then there's romance.. which is a whole other thing that is really slightly irrelevant to the topic at hand.

I hope that made as much sense to you as it does to me.

2 words, unconditional compassion...i could write alot more but my battery is about dead...i may post again later though

Well, I can only quote the Czesław Miłosz's poem: "Love is looking at another person/The same you look at the unknown things".

I think we often have an unaddressed semantics issue here which causes problems, I know it has for me ever sense that last journal entry with people not certain what love I am talking about. In English we have one word to define what is really several different concepts. I think its important to establish what kind of love we are talking about here. English really is very deficient in this way I think.

Richard_C wrote: I think we often have an unaddressed semantics issue here which causes problems, I know it has for me ever sense that last journal entry with people not certain what love I am talking about. In English we have one word to define what is really several different concepts. I think its important to establish what kind of love we are talking about here. English really is very deficient in this way I think.

I couldn't agree more with that, Richard.

Richard_C wrote: I think we often have an unaddressed semantics issue here which causes problems, I know it has for me ever sense that last journal entry with people not certain what love I am talking about. In English we have one word to define what is really several different concepts. I think its important to establish what kind of love we are talking about here. English really is very deficient in this way I think.

The love I talk about is universal love which has no lines dividing anybody, anything, or any nurturing or supporting behavior as far as giving positive expression in any or all forms to any kind of thing or person, including one's self.

We humans try to define the undefinable.

Love is! You have no control over it like you have no control over your medulla oblongata. The medulla deals with autonomic, involuntary functions, such as breathing, heart rate and blood pressure. You have NO control.

There are physical changes associated with love. Your eyes first see the object of affection and widen, your brain fantasizes about the object and then desire sets in. The need to know and get close to the object becomes stronger than you can withstand. Physical desire becomes secondary to the need to protect and nurture, please and support,and makes you do things out of your normal routine.

Love happens different from lust in that instead of continuing to protect and nurture,physical attraction becomes the only connection of substance and soon dies away after fulfilling the desire.

Today is example day...

I was playing softball with friends. While I was playing, the pitcher on the other team was this long legged blonde about 5'7, a beautiful smile and she had a body that...:whistle: sorry. Well anyway, as the game went on I talked to her and this weird feeling came over me and I needed to be with her. All game long I hit home run after home run while she just smiled. I saw her running behind this guy as we left the game. I found out she was going out with him. Right there on the field I turned to my buddy Mike and said..."That's the girl I'm going to marry!"

35 years latter, she is in the next room looking up airline prices for our next vacation.

LOVE HAPPENS AND THERE AIN"T A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!!