Anger

Hey all.

Recently I was pondering the emotion of anger and its control.

Once upon a time I was very dark and very, very angry. Particularly in my twenties. This emotional instability led to more than one interesting situation, let me tell you
Yet, slowly, and under the guidance of those older and wiser, I began to learn control.
Learning such control takes time but I managed.

Over the past handful of years in particular I've found that I have gotten quite good at
keeping my emotions in check, yet I find that in today's day and age every once in awhile
that anger wants to come out. I see it in even the most calm and sedate of my friends.
Sometimes life just throws you a nasty hand and you react emotionally.

I've found the Jedi Creed to be helpful - almost like a mantra - in these circumstances.

I was wondering how others manage the occasional bouts of strong emotion that living in the world
can trigger?

Regards

Qorvas

Its hard but the best way for me is to mediation

Besides biting ones own tongue. I tend to Meditate , so I have to agree with Karol Fett on this one. It's a time where I just let go of everything, including that which attaches me to it, and I tend to feel if at the least a little better at the end. For me this has also worked with sadness.

I do this, because I have realized that you can bottle anger all you want, that is you THINK you can. It just lives on in a different form. It corrodes, and eats away at you until they're is nothing left. I'm not one for deep grudges, but I have to admit that by bottling up anger toward that person, I'm letting my emotions rule my life, even after they're gone. This probably sounds preachy as ever, but if you have the patience and can let yourself let go, and of course dropping ones ego prior. It can work.

\"The Truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off.\"

I am a proponent of getting to the root of my emotions. When I understand the cause behind the symptoms, I can address them effectively. I liken it to taking a cough suppressant - that might help a bit, but doesn't really address the source of the cough. If you have a mild cold, this may work just fine. If you have tuberculosis, this isn't going to help much.

I can only speak for myself, so take it or leave it. In the cases of the folks I've dealt with (myself included), anger has always been a mask for fear. Fear hates being seen for what it is and hides in the darkness of our psyches, silently triggering all sorts of behaviors. This sort of situation makes those hidden sources our puppet masters. When something happens which might expose this fear, the first reaction is anger.

Here's an example:

After my husband's divorce from his first wife, he was a seething cauldron of rage. He thought that rage had its source in his sense of betrayal. Digging deeper, we found that his sense of betrayal came from a fear of lack of control coupled with fear of abandonment. Added into the mix was his long time resentment of women in general, which could be traced to his idea that women were more secretly more powerful than men (as he put, \"they have the power of the \" ... kitty) triggering again his fear of lack of control. It took a while, but by facing the true source of the rage he is now over that dark chapter in his life. By knowing the sources of the resentment, he's let go of that as well. He credits me for \"saving\" him, but I did nothing beyond point out a few things to him. He did the rest.

Take a look at the people in the world who rage. Can you see the fears hiding behind the anger? In most cases, it's fear of powerlessness, fear of abandonment, fear of the unknown, or fear that they aren't strong enough. These obviously aren't the only ones, but they are exceedingly common.

I'm now at the point where I recognize \"this is making me angry. What fear is this situation triggering?\" Bear in mind, most of these fears were decided by us when we were under the age of 7 or so and have never been re-examined. They don't make sense to an adult mind, but to the childmind they are perfectly logical. I had the notion that being sickly led to acceptance and love. My husband flat out saying \"if you're going to be sickly, I don't want to be around\" directly challenged that notion. That inane idea was a core belief, and he was flat out denying its validity. The challenge triggered a fear of abandonment and the result was anger that he could say something like that. Fortunately, by this point, I'd decided that any situation which made me angry was a waving red banner requiring my attention and so the source of the fear and resultant anger was dealt with.

To return to the earlier metaphor: I don't take cough suppressant. I either cough and deal with it, or I figure out why I'm coughing and deal with that. The choice, as always, is ours.

Hello again.

Fascinating words folks. Thanks for sharing.

Indeed, I agree with what was said about fear. Fear is a huge emotional trigger and an emotional root as well. I find myself as well, that when I seek the origin of something like anger or its chaotic brother, rage, I find, almost always that attachment is there at the source.

I'll share a little tale with you: I'm blessed with a daughter who was prophesied long before she was born by a group of Native Elders. Long before my wife and I even thought about having children my Native brother (by ceremony) came to me and told me about his great grandma's prophecy that I would one day have a baby daughter and that she wanted to pass on her Medicine name and some of her knowledge in spirit. I was told much about this little girl, as yet not even conceived, and that she would have the power of deep counsel and wisdom far beyond her years.

Years later we did have a baby girl. She was born approximately 24 hours after the passing of Elder Grandmother Tacha Winyan by the way... and in the seven years she has graced my life she has astounded me almost every day as the prophesy of her 'Medicine' comes true. She operates at the level of a seven year old in many ways, yet in certain areas she operates far beyond that.

Anyway, what I am getting at here, is that just the other day she came up to me and told me that she had been thinking and had come up with the source of all the problems in the world, and that they were attachment and respect; if people would let go of their attachments they would let go of fear. If they could let go of that they would embrace others in their hearts. if they could do that, everyone would share respect for one another. If they could do that the problems would be solved.

After I got my jaw up off of the floor I realized that indeed, there is hope for our species and it lies in the hearts and minds of children.

Uktena, what you said about fear really got me thinking about all of this.
I think I have a young Jedi Counselor to be, on my hands.

Most amazing the world can be, eh?

Best regards, and, may the Force be with you.

Qorvas

\"I think I have a young Jedi Counselor to be, on my hands.\"

I love hearing the immense wisdom of children. Thank you! My first thought was \"indigo child\", but that's another paradigm.

The above quoted sentence really caught my attention and I wanted to inquire about it. In your intro post, you stated that the path of the Jedi is the path of the Warrior. I see that idea re-iterated everywhere, even in the titles of the apprentices. That has always troubled me because I am not a Warrior. I do not identify with that archetype and I am only too happy to leave the path of the Warrior to my husband, who embraces it most emphatically. Because I don't consider myself to be on the path of the warrior, but rather on the path of wisdom, I've been wondering if this forum is the right one for me. Then you made the reference to a Jedi Counselor, and this got me intrigued.

Based on this, it would seem you can see more capacity within the Jedi path than Warrior alone, hence the reference to Counselor. This a new reference to me, so I thought I would inquire about it. I'm sure this is better fitting under a new thread, since the many guises of the Jedi isn't quite related to your original topic, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on the it.

Take care!

- Uktena

Anger is a result of a failure to meet our expectations. This does not mean you need to lower or change your expectations but to understand the root of it being our expectations can lead you in a direction to deal with it.

Xhaiden
http://www.jediphilosophy.net

Uktena;

Yeah, I have heard the term 'Indigo child' used in reference to kids like mine

And yes, I *do* indeed see the capacity for other paths within the Jedi Way. I recognize that there are healers, counselors, educators, etc., and that not all are called to the Warrior path. While many Warriors learn other arts besides war - and indeed the best of us are multi-talented, I realize that in any culture - and yes, that what the Jedi really are: a culture - there need to be folk of many talents and specialties.

Indeed, the Native name that my little girl was given translates in English to 'Deer Woman'. In the context in which that name was given to my daughter, Deer Woman was a healer of great renown and those gifted with that name are destined to become healers or one sort or another.

Qorvas