Locking threads is Bllsht

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17 Nov 2019 16:59 #345671 by Rosalyn J
Replied by Rosalyn J on topic Locking threads is Bllsht
I agree to a point @steamboat.

However, there are instances where honesty DOES provoke people. Sometimes that provocation comes whenever something doesn't fit our narrative.

I have found this to be true whenever what is fact goes against what I believe.

The best balm, for me at least, for that is letting go of the need to be right and just exploring a topic
The following user(s) said Thank You: OB1Shinobi, Kobos, Brick, Rex, Kelrax Lorcken, Fyxe

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17 Nov 2019 17:34 - 17 Nov 2019 18:38 #345675 by OB1Shinobi

steamboat28 wrote:

OB1Shinobi wrote: honest communication is uncomfortable. THATS THE PRICE OF BEING HONEST.

No it isn't. Only the immature must provoke uncomfortability when honesty arises.




It may be my imagination but i feel youre edging into at a sort of “all or nothing” frame. Or in SW parlance, dealing in absolutes

www.clinical-depression.co.uk/dlp/unders...king-and-depression/


Where i think youre dismissing the point i was making is in this: there are many instances where genuine honesty is difficult and uncomfortable. Honest confrontation is definitely one of those moments. I can give examples if its necessary but.... i dunno, i feel this is a basic thing that we all know to be true: it causes discomfort when we tell people things that theyd rather not hear or to which we believe they are likely to have a negative reaction. Its uncomfortable to be vulnerable. For some of us it is uncomfortable to be assertive and tell people what we really want. Honesty is sometimes uncomfortable; this is just a basic fact about human interactions.

Where i agree with you is in this: it is immature to deliberately barb and needle your message delivery so as to take unnecessary shots at someone while confronting them or disagreeing with them. I also can admit that i still struggle with this temptation, sometimes. I have become more aware of my tendency for throwing salt in my posts and have been seriously working to choose my words carefully. Ive learned my own indicators are dismissive contempt and frustration; when i feel contemptuous or frustrated with someones post, i am more likely to lace my reply with barbs. I felt neither of these when speaking with Fyxe and was i making concerted effort to remain direct but neutral and, for lack of a better word, professional.

For anyone who would like to judge for themselves, here is my first reply to him in the relevant topic;
www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/open-...orce?start=10#345480
If anyone sees any specific instance/s where i was being inappropriately hostile or disdainful, by all means point them out to me and i will consider what you have to say.

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down in order to feel it’s warmth.
-supposedly an African proverb.
Last edit: 17 Nov 2019 18:38 by OB1Shinobi.
The following user(s) said Thank You: elizabeth, Kobos, Brick, Rex, Lumella

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17 Nov 2019 19:59 - 17 Nov 2019 20:35 #345679 by OB1Shinobi

OB1Shinobi wrote: ....and was i making concerted effort to remain direct but neutral and....


Ha; i re-read my post and had to point out that this is not a correct use of the phrase “concerted effort”. I should have said I was making a conscious effort to remain direct but neutral. :laugh:

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down in order to feel it’s warmth.
-supposedly an African proverb.
Last edit: 17 Nov 2019 20:35 by OB1Shinobi.

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