Things Happen

So, our car just died. Not like cut off and simply won't restart, bot like water pump seized and broke the belt as it was overheating died. However, I trust in the Force and all is as it should be. On a side note...we coasted into our parking spot right in front of our apartment...so there is that.
I have complete faith that the Force will provide a solution in this. Given everything that happened to me from October to December in 2017, this is simply nothing to be concerned about. Is it about perspective or is it about faith? For me it is both.
When things happen to you, how do you deal with it? Do you have any certain thing you do to keep calm? Do you have any techniques that you use to take yourself out of the first person in a given situation and see it from other perspectives?
I am truly interested to know...
Force be with us all

I am sorry to read about your misfortune.

I find that when I face adversity or misfortune, my first reaction is to laugh. I started doing this a few years ago because there's nothing you can do to change what has happened, you just have to accept it, and find a way forward. Laughing was odd at first. However, laughing quickly became a guttural reaction for me. Now I can't imagine getting upset or doing anything else. Laughter relieves the stress of the moment for me, anchors me in the present, and reminds me that nothing is so bad it can rob my life of joy.

Oh man, can I relate!

After the torture of disciplining myself to stick to a budget and make some significant gains in digging myself out of huge amounts of debt, I was driving around, calm and gloating in my own brilliance...

And then my car died.

In my case, the car had malfunctioning sensors that did not warn me of overheating or the oil sign, and apparently the oil pump decided to die on me, causing the overheating due to friction to completely melt and distort essential engine parts, tearing up the engine and turning into a useless block of scrap.

It took all my emergency funds, all of my wife's emergency funds, and then some (luckly I managed to get an interest-free loan at work) to get it all fixed.

It sucks when something so important and so expensive breaks down. I'm sorry man.

For a while now, I suddenly get "glimpses" of others' lives, as if I could feel what they are going through. It usually happens when I take a while to just be quiet and look at the horizon. In any case, this product of my overactive imagination has helped put things into perspective, and though it sucks when people say "it could be worse", it still is true. Some people have way worse problems that I do, and if they can carry on... so can I.

EDIT: It's ok to be pissed that it did happen. And the stress of all the other things add up. But you know I know you know you are far stronger that all of this. You'll get through this brother.

Lots of Corpse yoga, has been my saving grace. Indeed, I totally feel you Jack, life sometimes has a knack of sticking it to ya, and breaking it off. Just had two commissions cancel after work was done, after the pipes burst after that hard freeze we just had, and I'm a week behind on rent...


When it rains, it pours brother, lol!

The best teacher you can get! If unexpected things happen we have to possibilities

1 to react
2 to respond and be responsible

To the first one is to do whatever you are programmed to do just instinctively for most this would be to get angry, frighten or freak out. This doesn't really helps anybody and creates more chaos than there is already. Anyway what to be angry about if your car is broken, it would help your car!

Number 2: to respond is a totally different thing than to react. You become responsible. Feel inside yourself. How do I feel about this? What can I do? What brings this to me? So there is an active choosing where you don't react out of emotions.


Of course if the car burns and you sit inside get out of it directly !!


At the end of a 10 day Vipassana course people got so out of reacting and into just observing that one practitioner got his finger cut and didn't even shiver - he just watched it got a banded and rapped it up.

Would it be helpful if he would have screamed or ran around in pain or fear?

I guess not just more blood would have gotten spilled.


Technique: Take a few deep breaths (always brings you back to the moment) and feel inside yourself what is going on really feel. Its just information. Then decide how you want to respond to this. Repeat as needed

When unpleasant things happen, the only thing you can do is accept it and react accordingly

I've trained myself not to knee jerk into an emotional reaction chain that can spiral up and out of control by simply pausing. It takes practice, start with frequent rest pause before reacting with little things so when bigger things come along you're conditioning kicks in almost instinctively. The more you use this technique the better it works.

Exhale slowly, relax and sink into your belly at the first sign of emotional build up keeps emotions from getting a foothold. Pause, exhale, relax. Repeat as often as needed.