Allow me to sweat out a response to this video…
All tied up in my arrival here at TotJO was a choice. I gave myself permission to read the comments, and in doing so, I actually realised that, despite all the amour I would put on to hide my vulnerabilities, some of my critics were seeing through all those layers. Unlike Brené’s experience, it was not 100% devastating; but it was also no walk in the park. Some folks were not being taken in by my heroic posturing in my shiny metal suit, and were seeing things through it that even I couldn’t. I liked the image I’d created so much I didn’t even bother to take my armour off at home - I slept in it. There wasn’t an armouring up room. To let folks in, even at home, would have been way too humiliating; or so I thought. Entering the arena naked? Not on your life.
Brené’s comments on creativity and imagination, however, ring true. Because of all the cumbersome armour, I’m limited in the responses I can make - I couldn’t allow myself to respond fully, completely, honestly, to the things happening in the arena. The first half of my IP to date, while not being 100% false, is stifled by the places I would not allow myself to go. But more recently, I’ve been stripping of the armour. No way I’ll be removing my loincloth - no-one wants to see that! But oddly, if I were to go back, re-read the stuff I’ve read, re-respond, although I could write the identical same response; but I’d trust one version much more than the other.
I can’t connect with Brené’s big revelation, that “If you’re not in the arena… I’m not interested in your feedback”. Non-experts, “non-competitors” you could call them, have told me useful things in my work simply because I would listen, and critically assess if their criticism was valid, or invalid. I’d not let the invalid points in; just filter for the good stuff. I think that’s part of the armour being there; ‘cause you reach a point where eye contact is hard to hold - it’s better to be wearing sunglasses - so there is probably some point to take home I’ve not come to realise yet.
I do agree with the idea of leaving space for your people at the arena side. If I didn’t do this, I think the whole process of “gladiatorial battling” would just be some masochistic horror show. If you’ve not got a friend/family member to invite, I can recommend the button here called “Contact clergy”. They’re the same lovely losers you get to meet hanging out here with their big hearts and their hard heads. Some of them even have a sense of humour. And absolutely, invite yourself. No-one can know you better. So in response to the video title; the critics DO count, but they don't count as much as your "self", when the "self" you're listening to is an authentic one, who does, at least on occasion, remove some armour.
