Sometimes it's best to just walk way.

I had a rather difficult situation this afternoon. Recently, I borrowed some money from my family and told them I would pay them back. I went to pay it and for whatever reasoning within my families thoughts my monthly payment wasn't adequate even though we agreed on a monthly payment agreement and I went got them a money order and payed them.

My brother, Zach, is a person who likes to be nice to my face and talk poorly when my back is turned and I have known it for years call it sibling rivially if you will. He, was offended that I asked to borrow money from my grandfather and was gripping about it. So, short story he came into the room when I was paying it and while my mother and my grandfather were talking my brother jumped right into the conversation and put in his own "two cents" pretty much telling me how I should go about paying things.

I disagreed with his comment and told him that grandpa and I had come to an agreement on a payment and thank you and I didn't need his advice. Well...whoops that turned things ugly really quick.

"You aren't going to smart off to me in my own house!" He said.
I looked at him and was like, "What? I didn't smart off to you, this is none of your business really, and I don't have to take your advice. Thank you." I replied.

Within minutes my brother walked right up to me and we're face to face literally and he cussed me out and threatened to beat me up screaming in my face like a wild man. At that point I want to say something I knew would probably only make matters worst so I stood up. Raised my hands and said, "Okay, If that is how it is I am done. Goodbye."
and I walked out the door and got back into my car and drove away.

My wife at this point was sitting in the car and was frightened by the entire situation as she could hear my brother yelling at me from the house. I was a little shaken myself after that because my feelings were hurt and I felt that was uncalled for...who knows maybe I shouldn't of said anything. But, I felt like the better person by just walking away.

walking away can help you both cool off until the tension doesn't run too deep and you are able to speak again. I'm in a similar situation with my brother right now and we've yet to sit and talk (although, our issue happened about 8 hours ago) about it. The thing is, you never really want to leave anything unresolved because it could just cause more problems.

My brother is an alcoholic, a big functioning one, but still an alcoholic nonetheless. My family always sweeps everything under the carpet and pretends like an argument with him never happened and just 'walk away' when it reaches a certain point so that later on, it's like it never happened. This is not good.

Yes, walking away can help deescalate a situation, but, in the end, the best thing to do is to resolve the issues as best as possible......with your situation, since he was in HIS home, he felt like the control was taken away from him. I would say to talk somewhere neutral next time so that it doesn't come to that again.

I hope everything gets better for you and yours.

Thank you. I agree at some point I will talk with him but, right now I want things to cool down for the moment. My brother has a huge temper and when he let's lose man...watch out! Thank you for your insight Vlad that is appreciated and helpful.

A Jedi is wary of attachments. Even family. Hurtful ties should be monitored and cut if needed.

You did the right thing. I know personally that I woulda prolly bee a bit more... well, I'd be painting my white saber red. ;P guess that means I still have a long ways to go, eh?

You did well, thank you for sharing this lesson.

You made an astute observation, Sven. Sometimes an emotional outburst is not about the issue at hand, but something deeper. Arguing about this was just bringing out pent up anger. Walking away was a wise choice at this point, but as Vlad says, I would look to resolve it on neutral ground. Letting it go to long just leads to more resentment.

You can solve this, Jedi. You got this. Let us know if we can help, or just listen.

I have learned it is often better to let tempers settle before attempting to resolve a disagreement. Frustration and anger never find the best words to speak. So walking away is often useful.

Just remember, as I think was the gist of a recent meme posted to the wall by Roxicario (I feel like I butchered your name, and perhaps even totally missed the source): That when we walk away from problems, they are still there, just a little further away.