How do you use silence?

08 Aug 2017 19:58 #295895 by Trisskar
Trisskar replied the topic: How do you use silence?
I value my silence. I often get called an introvert or non social...sometimes judged for it too. And yea, it is partially true. Not for lack of trying.
I just prefer the silence. A chance to just sit and breathe or read a book without people complaining about there problems and kids arguing. It is very rare that I find myself among others without the conversation nearly always being about how horrible there life is. Such kinds of conversations just isn't my style. And going up to random people and engaging full conversations also holds no interest to me.

That dosn't mean i don't or wont hang out with people. I Just have very unique interests that not many share and I've given up trying to find people just like me when I can just be proud of who I am in the silence of the self.
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08 Aug 2017 20:56 - 08 Aug 2017 21:09 #295911 by Kyrin Wyldstar
Kyrin Wyldstar replied the topic: How do you use silence?
I find silence a double edged sword. I spend a lot of time in my head and I prefer that quiet solitude. It is my natural state of being and I prefer it over others - most times...

However it does not bode well for social interaction. Standing in a group engaged in conversation but contributing nothing often times gives others the perception of arrogance or indifference or condescension. Its not the case, Its just that I am a listener, not a talker. Sex is another issue altogether. Your partner can often times perceive you as not engaged or lacking passion. And at night, when your thoughts are racing and you cant get control over them because the silence is deafening and actually seems to want to drive you insane instead of sooth you i find that I need some form of noise to focus on just to get them under control. Often times music works for this. It gives me a focal that I can concentrate on and actually fall asleep.

LOL, hmmm, so a lesson on how to use silence is not an issue for me. I am so effective at it that it becomes a detriment often times... do you have one on how to use noise? :P
Last Edit: 08 Aug 2017 21:09 by Kyrin Wyldstar.
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16 Aug 2017 17:48 #297729 by Adhara
Adhara replied the topic: How do you use silence?
Somewhere at some time I read (I believe) that the person you can sit with in silence are the closes ones. Usually we talk or small talk to keep an awkward silence away with people we don't like. But with the people I like I can sit in silence and just enjoy the time together.
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16 Aug 2017 21:42 - 16 Aug 2017 21:43 #297790 by Alexandre Orion
Alexandre Orion replied the topic: How do you use silence?
15

The ancients who followed Tao:
Dark, wondrous, profound, penetrating.
Deep beyond knowing.
Because they cannot be known,
They can only be described.
Cautious, like crossing a winter stream.
Hesitant, like respecting one's neighbours.
Polite, like a guest.
Yielding, Like ice about to melt ;
Blank, like uncarved wood.
Open, like a valley.
Mixing freely, like muddy water.
Calm the muddy water, It becomes clear.
Move the inert, It comes to life.
Those who sustain Tao
Do not wish to be full.
Because they do not wish to be full
They can fade away
Without further effort.
Last Edit: 16 Aug 2017 21:43 by Alexandre Orion.

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17 Aug 2017 08:57 - 17 Aug 2017 09:18 #297929 by Lykeios
Lykeios replied the topic: How do you use silence?
Okay, awesome exercise/assignment.

But, when you say silence I'm going to assume you mean refraining from writing or communicating online as well. Otherwise...it sort of defeats the purpose.

I'm going to try this over the next work week. To be honest, I'm a little afraid of what my own brain will come up with to think about.

As far as how I use silence in my own practice? Well, there was that one time I took a "vow" of silence and didn't say a word to anyone (except through text message) for about three or four days. It was amazing as I recall. Very illuminating.
Last Edit: 17 Aug 2017 09:18 by Lykeios. Reason: Error

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17 Aug 2017 21:35 #298100 by Edan
Edan replied the topic: How do you use silence?

Adhara wrote: Somewhere at some time I read (I believe) that the person you can sit with in silence are the closes ones. Usually we talk or small talk to keep an awkward silence away with people we don't like. But with the people I like I can sit in silence and just enjoy the time together.


There's a thing that the Quakers do which is called witnessing.. in a moment taking in the entirety of the person as they are without the personal ego. I think this is something that we come to do automatically with people who we are close to, because in some vein we are sacrificing the ego to get so close to them. The true test I think, is whether one can come to understand that connection with those who they do not know as well.

In a truly open and honest manner, silence begins to override ego.
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17 Aug 2017 21:52 - 17 Aug 2017 22:28 #298105 by OB1Shinobi
OB1Shinobi replied the topic: How do you use silence?
I enjoy silence whenever im able to get it, even to the point that i often wear earplugs lol. I especially dislike the chatterings of radios and televisions, as i find they rarely produce any sounds i enjoy, or even think are worth hearing at all.

In my studies, i have been learning how to use my own silence in conversation with clients. The normal pattern for most of us is to want to chime in when we think we have somethinng to say. Also, we tend to help each other out of moments where expressing feelings is difficult. But if its important to understand where someone else is coming from, sometimes you have to just let them talk. Dont interfere to share your perspective or to show how clever you are, and dont rescue them from having to articulate whats going on from their own perspective (sometimes you do have to be able to help someone find the words they are looking for).

Ive come to the conclusion that one of the biggest reasons people are so confused and have such a difficult time understanding one another, is because we arent taught how and when to be silent.
Last Edit: 17 Aug 2017 22:28 by OB1Shinobi.
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17 Aug 2017 22:03 #298106 by Edan
Edan replied the topic: How do you use silence?

Lykeios wrote: Okay, awesome exercise/assignment.

But, when you say silence I'm going to assume you mean refraining from writing or communicating online as well. Otherwise...it sort of defeats the purpose.

I'm going to try this over the next work week. To be honest, I'm a little afraid of what my own brain will come up with to think about.


I do :) It means sitting with just your thoughts. But overcoming the fear of what we think I feel is part of the purpose.. to not be afraid to silence the things we think.. nobody else can hear your thoughts.. so listen to what they have to say.
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